


Tight Bonds

by amaryllis (Lilly0)



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, BDSM, Bottom Nick Burkhardt, Consensual, Contracts, Dom Sean Renard, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Eventual Romance, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, Nick Whump, Praise Kink, Punishment, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, Sean has feelings, Slow Burn, Spanking, Sub Nick, Sub Nick Burkhardt, Subdrop, Trust, Understanding, Whump, protective Monroe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2019-12-26 21:17:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 58,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18290408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/pseuds/amaryllis
Summary: Sean agrees to enter an arranged contract with a young Sub to save him from being further exploited. Nicholas is inexperienced, broken and just recently learned about the Wesen world. Barely knowing each other they are off to a rocky start. Sean understands he needs to be more sensitive than ever to make his young Sub open up and help him leave behind his past. Meanwhile Nick has to learn that not all Doms are there to take advantage of their Subs.(This is a D/s story with Dom!Sean and Sub!Nick)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at titles and descriptions, sorry. I think I sat an hour in front of my notebook until I came up with something. *fails*
> 
> This story will stray a bit from Canon, obviously. But some things will stay the same. Like Monroe and Rosalee. Or Sean will still be Captain Renard. Nick is a Grimm. And most main characters will have their appearance. 
> 
> Also this is a D/s story, so be warned. :-) (although things are going to be consensual and safe)

 

_Offer for a marriage contract. Submissive: Nicholas Burkhardt (22 yo, Grimm)_

 

 

Sean isn’t sure how long he has been looking at the sheet of paper in his hands… twenty minutes probably, maybe even more. Receiving one of these contract offers isn’t particularly new to him. He has gotten plenty of these throughout the years. His father has always been eager to bind him to the family in some way, and he wanted a suitable partner for him. Up to now Sean has ignored all of them, but this specific contract is the first one to spark his interest.

 

_Nicholas Burkhardt._

 

 

Can it be?

 

Sean doesn’t remember Kelly Burkhardt all that well, but he has a few very distinctive memories of her. He wouldn’t say she was a loving motherly type of woman. She wasn’t even particularly kind. But she was fierce and intelligent, straight-forward, and she was the only person there to save him and his mother, and help them, when they needed it the most.

 

She was a Grimm, so she probably should have killed his mother rather than help her, but she couldn’t go against a child.

 

They owe her their lives. She didn’t want anything in return and just left. Maybe she even only acted on the spur of the moment, maybe she regretted it afterwards, but the reason why she did it doesn’t hold any meaning to Sean - thanks to her they were able to survive, that’s all that matters. Over the years Sean however almost forgot about her, only many years later he was reminded of her existence again, when he heard of her tragic death. And again, he felt sorry for her, but forgot about it not too long afterwards. The only thing which bothered him was that he wasn’t able to repay his debt.

 

He moved on though until the royal family – his to be precise – sent him this new contract, or rather an offer for a contract. It’s true what they say, Sean thinks in honest surprise, you always meet twice.

 

He takes some time to think before he takes his phone, dialing a well-known number. “Sebastien,” he mutters. “I need you to gather some information for me.”

 

 

_~~~_

 

 

“And you are certain?” Sean asks, stirring in his coffee thoughtfully.

 

Sebastien nods. “A hundred percent, Sir. He is Kelly Burkhardt’s son.”

 

“So, what happened? I know he is a Sub without parents to care for him, but he is of Grimm heritage. How come he is being sold into marriage like that?” Sean inquires. “Kelly Burkhardt was a Grimm. She for certain had plans to protect him in case she passes away.”

 

Sebastien sighs. “Bad luck, I would say. You know, it only needs one foul seed in a group of allies, and it will all be in vain.”

 

“Oh yes,” Sean chuckles bitterly. “I know.”

 

“He grew up in one of these organizations, training young Subs to serve powerful Doms.” Sebastien looks at him. “Such as you.”

 

“And my family probably learned of his family origin, and thought it would be a good idea to marry him off to one of their members.” Sean concludes.

 

“Seems like it,” Sebastien agrees. “His Grimm abilities only appeared recently. The family obviously wants to use him to their advantage. Why did they choose you though?”

 

Sean looks up, eyebrows raised. “In case things go wrong, they are not risking the lives of their more valuable members, such as my _beloved_ brother Eric.”

 

 

 

Living with a young Grimm means living a dangerous life. It probably means colliding conflicts between his family, the Grimm, the Wesen world and the Wesen Council. It also means that since the boy grew up in an organization they tried to break his will as much as possible, and they probably had to go hard against him, considering he is a Grimm. Sean doesn’t know how broken the young Sub will be. He wonders – in case he is broken – if he will be the right partner for him, if he is being able to heal someone. He can’t even heal himself after all.

 

There are quite some reasons to decline.

 

But...

 

It’s Kelly Burkhardt’s son, whom she couldn’t protect anymore. But Sean can. Protect him like she once protected him and his mother. Finally pay back his debt.

 

 

 

“In case you agree to the contract,” Sebastien looks at him. “What are you going to tell the family? I mean, they are going to be suspicious, won’t they? You never agreed up to now”

 

“Hm,” Sean hums. “I’m sure they will be, but I’m also certain I can come up with a few good excuses.”

 

“Like what?”

 

There are several official reasons… as to why Sean can agree to it. First. It is a political decision. Sometimes it’s simple as that. It’s not like Sean has much to say in it. Though, honestly, it’s not like he has something against it either. He is not big on the feeling front, so he doesn’t mind getting into an arranged marriage, if you want to call it that way. This is just how things run. As part of the royal family – bastard or not – he has to follow a certain protocol.

 

Second. Unlike many other traditions, binding himself to a Sub isn’t something he is particularly against. Sean knows he can’t just walk out there and find himself a suitable Sub, mainly because his life is dangerous, he can’t bond with a Human woman or man. It needs to be either a Wesen, someone royal or someone else who can keep up with the dangers of their life style.

 

 

“Politics, personal advantage, strengthening my status here in Portland. I need to present a suitable partner to the public at one point – I can’t stay single forever or it will kill my reputation.” Sean leans back. “There are many reasons.”

 

If Sebastien is amused, he is doing a good job not to show it too much. “Well, if you put it like that, they will see your reasoning.”

 

“What do you know about him? Nicholas is his name, am I right?” He offers Sebastien a drink.

 

The man accepts it with an almost shy smile. “They claim he has been trained properly.” He grimaces. “I’ve heard your brother talk about it.”

 

Sean looks up from his own drink, furrowing his eyebrows. “So he was forced to submit when he didn’t want to and beaten if he had his own opinion,” he analyzes grimly.

 

Sebastien shrugs helplessly. “Meisner knows more. He told me that he leaves the details to your imagination.” A pause. “Meisner was not happy when he saw the guy.”

 

Probably the understatement of the century. A guy with ideals like Meisner would be raging if he sees a Sub treated so badly.

 

“And he agreed on signing a contract with me?” Sean wants to know. He knows none of them has much to say in this, but Sean at least commits willingly to this. He looks at the picture and folder in front of him. The man in the photos looks young, a bit younger than Sean himself. He has a beautiful face, soft features yet manly. And he has a pair of beautiful blue eyes. They look sad though.

 

“Apparently he did agree,” Sebastien states.

 

“Agreeing is a broad term if you are a Sub like him,” Sean says quietly. “He is just hoping to be somewhere safer.”

 

“And will he be?” Sebastien asks all of a sudden. “Safe?”

 

Sean’s gaze snaps up. “You should know me long enough to know I am not one to bond with a Sub just to keep him as my slave,” he answers sharply.

 

Sebastien raises his hands in defense. “I just wanted to make sure for a last time,” he mutters. “Please accept my apology.”

 

Sean rubs over his forehead, still feeling slightly annoyed, but decides to let it pass. “Does he know anything about his family background? About being a Grimm?”

 

Sebastien shakes his head. “He knows nothing.”

 

“They didn’t tell him anything at all?” Sean asks in disbelief.

 

“After you have signed the offer for a contract, there will be an official ceremony, until then he will be staying with Meisner,” Sebastien moves the glass with cognac between his hands. “He will be filled in with the most necessary information. But Meisner said he can only do so much in a few days. The rest is up to you then.”

 

Sean nods tentatively. “That’s better than nothing,” he states quietly. “Did you see him?”

 

“Just briefly,” Sebastien smiles carefully. “He looks… kind. And scared. But not weak. Pretty. A bit like… like a kicked puppy.”

 

“Poor kid,” Sean sighs. 22. Barely legal and they are already marrying him off to a stranger. Something in his stomach twists. No one, absolutely no one in Nicholas’ life called Sean or wanted to meet him to make sure he marries Nicholas off to a somewhat good person. Literally no one cared. “Make sure he at least sees a picture of me. And I will talk to Meisner. Maybe he can take away some of his fear.”

 

He hands Sebastien the signed documents. Sebastien nods. “Meisner told me to tell you something.”

 

“Now that’s going to be interesting,” Sean comments dryly. “Spare your breath. Yes, I will.”

 

“I haven’t even said anything.”

 

“You were about to tell me to be more sensitive than usual,” Sean raises his eyebrows. “Am I right?”

 

Sebastien blushes. “Yes.”

 

“I will be. I know how to treat an anxious Sub, Sebastien. And he will be my responsibility and under my protection. No one will hurt him anymore.” Sean looks at the picture again. “He is beautiful,” he says all of a sudden. Something about the glance in Nick’s eyes touches him. “And he has such kind eyes.”

 

Sebastien nods contently, putting the folder in his bag. “I’ll take my leave then.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick looks down at the photo in his hands, holding on to it tightly like his life depends on it. It’s the first picture he sees of the man he is supposed to be with from now on.

 

“If you are clutching it like that, it will rip,” Meisner comments, slight amusement in his voice

 

“I’m sorry,” Nick stutters, loosening his grip.

 

“Nothing to apologize for,” Meisner’s expression remains even, he is a bit hard to read, but not unkind. “It’s yours anyways. I just thought you might want to look at Sean’s beautiful face for a bit longer.”

 

Nick can’t help but blush a bit. “Sean...” he says carefully, trying to get used to the sound of the name. “Is he...” he pauses, not sure how to ask Meisner if the man he is going to marry is a nice one.

 

“He is a decent guy, a bit difficult sometimes, but not bad,” Meisner reassures him. “I for one consider him an ally.”

 

“A friend?”

 

“I don’t consider anyone a friend if I’m being honest,” Meisner states.

 

Nick nods tentatively. “He looks good,” he finally comments nervously, because shit, he has to say something.

 

Meisner’s lips tug in slight amusement, making Nick blush even further. “Well, I heard he said the same about you.”

 

“Really?” Nick blinks, eyes shifting back to the man in the picture. He has green eyes, strong cheekbones, he is obviously tall, broad shoulders. Looks like the textbook example of an alpha male, a Dom.

 

“Listen Nick.” Meisner sits down next to him. “Sean is a modern guy. He is a modern royal and he is a modern Dom. He is nothing like the people you grew up with. Give him a chance.”

 

“Is he like you?” Nick wants to know. Meisner is probably the first decent Dom he has ever met. He has explained everything to Nick patiently, gave him answers and treated him kindly. He is a bit distanced in general, it seems, and not an outgoing, happy type of guy, but he was never annoyed by Nick’s questions, or at least he hid it well.

 

Meisner shrugs. “I wouldn’t say that either. He is stoic, but a bit more sarcastic. And he doesn’t have my great sense of humor~”

 

Nick smiles slightly at that playful comment, because honestly Meisner does not have any sense of humor at all.

 

“He is quite serious, good at his job, the ideal public figure, typical leader,” Meisner continues. “Oh and he can cook well.” When Nick blinks, Meisner just shrugs. “Hey, if it’s midnight and you are starving that’s a very good trait to have.”

 

Nick nods slightly. Truth is… anything is going to be better than _home,_ or however else he is supposed to call the organization. Even if this Sean turns out to be an evil sadist who treats him badly, it will still be better. He is a royal and he will want to keep a certain reputation. So Nick will be at least safe from touches or beatings coming from other Doms.

 

Alpha males, Doms likes Sean, don’t like to share, he knows that. And he knows in a weird twisted way it will keep him safe.

 

 

~~~

 

The ceremony is rather small. Thank God. It’s just the two of them. And a few of Sean’s friends, it seems, and a very few family members. There is a blonde woman, around 40 maybe, she seems to be related to Sean. Meisner is there too, and Nick is relieved to at least know someone. His eyes shift around nervously, until they finally catch Sean.

 

He is taller than Nick thought he would be. So tall. Next to him Meisner looks almost small. All of them do.

 

Nick swallows slightly. A blush crawls over his cheeks when he realizes Sean caught his glance. Is he going to be mad that he was staring so bluntly? For a moment Sean’s expression remains even, stoic, then he shows him the hint of a smile though.

 

They both officially sign everything, and then it’s over. Just a dinner, a few toasts, food he can barely taste because he is so nervous.

 

“Don’t you want to eat something?” He feels a hand against his back.

 

Nick looks at Sean nervously. “I… I don’t know.”

 

Sean sighs, he doesn’t sound frustrated though, rather... amused. “You look like a scared deer.”

 

“I am not a deer,” Nick mutters, before he realizes he is talking to his assigned Dom, and he is already being impolite. “I meant to say, I can be a deer if you want me to, Sir. I-”

 

Sean smiles slightly. “No need for a panic attack, mon faon.” he touches Nick’s shoulder softly, massaging it a bit. He really is tall, broad shoulders, his hands are strong, long fingers… Nick almost feels embarrassed by his trail of thoughts. But Sean’s touch seems to do something to him because the tension slowly leaves his body, at least partly.

 

“I could eat a bit,” Nick states carefully.

 

“What do you like?” Sean wants to know. He doesn’t sound annoyed or reproachful. It is hard to tell what he thinks though.

 

“I am not sure what all of this is,” Nick admits. “I… almost everything is in French or German. I’m sorry.”

 

“That’s okay,” Sean’s lips tug slightly.. “I reassure you that half of the others aren’t so sure either what they are eating here. There is some roast beef though. Do you like that?”

 

“I think I might,” Nick tilts his head. He hasn’t eaten it before. He has been on a very specific diet since he can remember. To keep his body fit and slender. He realizes Sean is still waiting for a decision. Jeez, he really needs to try to be less awkward. “I will try it,” Nick finally says.

 

Sean seems to be content with his answer.

 

Nick watches him carefully while he hands him a plate with roast beef. Either he plays his role well or he indeed isn’t a complete sadistic asshole, Nick thinks. At the same time he feels guilty for even thinking like that. He should think of him in a more respectful way, even if he were… a sadistic asshole. Which he apparently isn’t. Hopefully.

 

“Nick,” Meisner appears out of nowhere and pats his shoulder. “You look like you are having complicated thoughts. Is Sean already teasing you?”

 

“Sean is sitting right next to him,” Sean answers dryly. “If you want to talk about me, how about you wait until I’ll leave?”

 

“Don’t worry. Nothing I wouldn’t say to your face.” Meisner comments with an impossible deadpan impression. “So what do you think of him, Nick?”

 

Nick looks at Meisner horrified. Is he supposed to give an answer? “He is...”

 

“Yes?” Meisner asks.

 

“Tall?” Nick offers helplessly, tensing up immediately.

 

Meisner chuckles into his drink while Sean touches Nick’s arm. He lets his hand rest there for a moment, looking at Nick insistently. “You don’t need to answer him or anyone else when they ask such weird questions, Nicholas.”

 

“Okay,” Nick nods.

 

“Hey, don’t plot against me,” Meisner mock-complains.

 

“How about you stay quiet for once and instead drink something with us,” Sean answers in an even voice, like the teasing didn’t even affect him at all.

 

He is good at that, Nick thinks. Being social and talking to people. Not weird or awkward at all. While Sean talks with Meisner, his hand remains on Nick’s arm. It stays there for most of the evening, and in a weird way Nick finds it almost comforting.

 

When they are alone for a moment Sean looks at him thoughtfully. “Tall, huh?” he muses.

 

Nick feels tensed immediately. He should have said something smarter. It’s so… stupid. “I’m sorry,” he mutters miserably. “I just, the question came as a surprise. But this is not an excuse obviously. I should have-”

 

“People normally call me stoic or even arrogant on first glance,” Sean interrupts him. “So I consider tall as an improvement.”

 

“Really?” Nick asks and for the first time he dares to smile carefully.

 

“Tell me, Nicholas,” Sean leans to the side a bit, his gaze turning towards Nick. “What do you like?”

 

Nick tries not to shift around under Sean’s glance. Instead he tries to focus on his eyes, he has green eyes, a rare color, and tiny wrinkles around them. He isn’t as old as Nick expected him to be though. He thought he would be married to a guy in his 50s but Sean seems to be slightly above 30. Good. “What I like?” he asks, trying to sound as steady as possible. It seems like Sean wants to have a normal conversation with him. He should at least try.

 

“Yes, what kind of books do you like to read?” Sean’s gaze doesn’t leave his face. It’s not an unfriendly look though, rather thoughtful, interested even. Nick thinks he even sees slight concern in them. “Is there a TV show you are particularly fond of? Do you have any hobbies?”

 

“You really want to know what I like to do?” Nick asks, flabbergasted. It’s the first time someone ever showed interest in him. Especially a Dom.

 

“Unless you don’t want to,” Sean says calmly.

 

“No, of course I will tell you, Sir.”

 

“Good,” one of the edges of Sean’s lips tugs upwards a bit. “I would not be pleased to give you something you hate for our anniversary. Let’s say I invite you to the opera while you would rather prefer to watch a football game. We don’t want that to happen, do we?”

 

Nick takes a while to realize his freshly assigned Dom is apparently teasing him. He can’t help but smile a bit. “I haven’t been to neither,” he admits honestly. “But I can’t image listening to someone sing for hours, in a language I might not even understand. Though it might be interesting in its own way.”

 

Sean snorts slightly. Apparently Nick’s carefully placed humor seems to sit right with him.

 

 

~~~

 

Nick has excused himself to the bathroom. To Sean’s bathroom to be exact. Sean’s chauffeur just brought them home, and although Nick is glad that the whole celebration is finally over, he is panicking now. He completely forgot what it means to have a wedding night. Shit. He… he was so engulfed in the whole celebration and trying not to feel too weird and out of place there while also carefully trying to get to know his husband, that he completely forgot.

 

He fucking forgot that he would have sex now. For the first time. Ever.

 

He is not prepared. Like…

 

Okay, Nick, breathe. This is your Dom. It comes naturally. Sean will lead you.

 

Hopefully…

 

Or he will do what other Subs told him Doms normally do. Try to make him drop and then take him the way he wants to. And if Nick still wouldn’t be ready, maybe drug him.

 

Nick takes a deep breath.

 

Doesn’t matter.

 

You are prepared for this. From the moment the negotiations about the contract started he got tutored by three Subs. Kind people. They told him what to do, how to act, how to please a Dom, how to pretend he likes to do things even if he doesn’t, how to not show he is scared. Seems like many powerful Doms have not enough patience for inexperienced Subs like him.

 

Breathe.

 

Nick lets out a deep breath. They said he looks good. Has a good body. He doesn’t need to hide. So, he shouldn’t. His body is his asset, they said.

 

He hopes they are right.

 

Nick has just showered, and while Sean told him to take his time – no need to hurry – he feels like he shouldn’t let his Dom wait for too long. Especially not on their first night.

 

Nick wraps his body in a towel and carefully sneaks out of the bathroom again.

 

Sean is experienced.

 

He will know what to do. Just go with the flow, Nick.

 

Please don’t let it hurt too much.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first chapter! And just the beginning! I promise there will be so much more - and I promise you quite some BDSM and D/s typical stuff. It will get more intense, a lot more, I promise! Sean is a Dom after all, and we know how stern he can be :D And Nick will discover his Grimm-self too, and become more confident and a bit more reckless. 
> 
> But for now I think Nick still needs some time to grow accustomed to everything, so lets not stress him ;-) Also I think Sean is already quite interested in him. Lets call it... attraction on first sight? I hope Sean's reasong for agreeing on this contract were believable, because he is the rather independend type normally. But I think Nick somehow struck something in him. 
> 
> Oh, Monroe and Hank will appear soon. Also, I thought adding Meisner and Sebastien (love him <3) to the whole bunch as Sean's allies would be quite interesting. What do you think?
> 
> I'm super excited and motivated about writing this, and I have tons of ideas for this. So I hope I hope I hope I hope some of you are on board with me. Please tell me what you think! ♥  
> As always comments and feedback are highly appreciated!
> 
> (oh, and if there is something specific you want to read in this verse, feel free to drop your wishes. I will see if I can make it work :-))


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean tries to make Nick open up a bit, but it's more difficult than he thought it would be. Because Nick is used to thinking everything he does is wrong.

Sean has switched into a pair of more comfortable jeans and a blue sweater. The evening was… exhausting. Keeping up the farce in front of family members he despises and who keep watching each and every of his moves is more than tiring. Normally he is able to avoid most of these events, but he can’t quite skip his own wedding, can he?

 

At least there were a few known and liked faces around him. His mother. Meisner. Sebastien. He also has to admit that he was pleasantly surprised by the young Grimm. He looks shy and awkward on first glance. Endearing in a way. But here and there he was able to make Nick let his guard down and then he showed quite some humor and a cheeky self-confidence. He also seems quite smart. Sean can actually see himself engaging in discussions with him. Well, they have all the time of the world to get to know each other now.

 

It feels weird to be bound to a Sub now. Up to now Sean hasn’t quite realized it. Of course he knew what he was getting himself into, but it’s only now that he realizes the full extent of how his life has changed. He isn’t alone anymore. From now on he has someone he needs to look out for. He isn’t so sure if he will be doing well with that task or not, but he has no other option but to try.

 

Sean sighs. Nicholas is beautiful. Mesmerizing blue eyes, almost perfect features, long eyelashes. He is going to attract quite some attention, especially since he is also a Grimm. Which means they need to watch out for him quite a bit, until he is able to defend himself. Sean assumes his instincts as a Grimm will kick in soon though.

 

When he hears footsteps behind him, he turns around, his gaze falling on his young Sub. He is wrapped in a towel, his gaze nervous.

 

Sean feels a bit confused first. Then Nick steps forward and closer to him, looking up at him through his thick eyelashes and lets his robe drop down, revealing himself entirely to Sean. For a moment Sean can only stare and take in the picture in front of him. The smooth muscles, the pale skin, the nicely shaped legs, then his sharp gazes catches something else though. There are signs of fading bruises and welts on his back and hips, going down to his legs. Something inside him twitches at that sight. He tries to fight his anger back though. “What are you doing here?” he asks softly.

 

“But you...I’m sure you want to...” Nick bites down on his tongue.

 

“Do you want to?” Sean asks in return, secretly horrified by the way Nick sees himself and his body. He seems to be expecting the worst. Sean wonders what kind of training and brainwashing he went through. “Have me take you to bed? Now?”

 

“I...” Nick swallows. “I want what you want, Sir.”

 

“Really?” One of Sean’s eyebrows pops up. “Awesome. Because I just happen to want a glass of wine now, and some lemon sorbet.”

 

“Sorbet?” Nick asks carefully.

 

“It’s like ice cream,” Sean states casually, wrapping Nick into an extra bathrobe. He touches his neck soothingly, thumb brushing over his chin. It seems to help because some of the tension leaves Nick’s body and he tilts his head to the side. Sean smiles inwardly. Good. He is not going to force himself on his Sub. He is patient and can wait. One day Nick will feel ready to share his bed with him, until then they can try to get to know each other better. His mother’s intuition didn’t trick them, because Nick indeed is beautiful and seems to be kind, and… there is probably quite an interesting personality somewhere hidden beneath the well-trained exterior. “So, would you like to join me for a glass of wine?”

 

“Yes,” Nick smiles carefully. “Of course, Sir.”

 

“Sean,” he interrupts him.

 

“Excuse me?” Nick mutters, obviously uncertain of what Sean wants from him now.

 

“Call me Sean. Unless-” Sean turns around, smirking a bit. He catches Nick completely off-guard. It’s visible in the way he blushes slightly. “-you want something specific from me… or I’m supposed to punish you.”

 

In Nick’s eyes he can see a battle of emotions. Interest, curiosity, nervousness… finally he has his composure back. “Yes Sir… I mean, Sean.”

 

It’s interesting to hear him say his name for the first time, Sean thinks. It sounds surprisingly sweet to his ears.

 

“I will switch into some more casual clothes then,” Nick suggests carefully.

 

“Good,” Sean nods. “Meanwhile I will prepare some wine for us.”

 

 

 

Once Nick joined him again, Sean takes a box with lemon sorbet out of his freezer and takes two spoons out of one of his drawers. He hands on to his young Sub. Eating out of the package instead of using plates is not what he normally would do, but he feels like he can indulge his young partner for today and just let his normal table rules rest for this evening.

 

Nick sits down on one of the bar chairs while Sean is leaning against the counter, holding the package with the cold sorbet in his hands. He watches with amusement how Nick tries a spoon full of it, for a split second furrowing his eyebrows and scrunching his nose at the sourness of it. “Not to your liking?” Sean asks, pulling up his eyebrows.

 

“No, that’s not it,” Nick’s eyes widen, like he is scared he just upset him. “I-”

 

“I have pistachio ice cream as well,” Sean points out, deciding that it’s probably the best he just reacts normally like he usually would, and not tell Nick that his blatant fear of upsetting him is unnecessary.

 

He takes the additional ice cream out of the freezer, opens the lid and offers it to Nick. Nick’s expression is different this time, his eyes widen at the taste of it, a sudden gleam appearing in his eyes. Sean can’t help but cherish the sight in front of him, and feel proud at making his young Sub let his guard down for a moment.

 

“Nicholas, I need to tell you something,” he says earnestly, noting how Nick shifts his gaze towards him, the same guarded expression on his face again. “I need you to listen well, alright?”

 

Nick nods.

 

“I knew your mother.”

 

“What?” Nick exclaims in obvious shock and surprise. It’s the first time Sean sees him show his reactions so openly. The statement itself apparently took him so much by surprise he probably wasn’t able to react in a more _suitable_ way. Not that Sean minds, but he figures Nick himself does.

 

“She saved my mother once, and me too,” Sean tells him. “I’m not going to thank her and repay her by forcing you into something you don’t feel ready for. Please don’t forget that.”

 

The look in Nick’s eyes would have been hilarious if it weren’t for such a serious situation. “You really knew my mother,” Nick mutters.

 

“Yes.” Sean lets his gaze wander over Nick’s face, trying not to intimidate him by staring at him bluntly. Nick’s expression is marred with confusion, surprise… and curiosity.

 

“How was she? I mean, what kind of person was she?” Nick’s eyes sparkle with open curiosity now. “I hope I’m not too bold by asking you. I just thought… since you knew her and I can’t quite remember… She was a Grimm too, right? And she saved you? Wouldn’t she have killed a Zauberbiest?” Nick pauses. “I don’t mean to say… I’m sorry, this was uncalled for!”

 

Apologizing again. “You really need to stop doing that,” Sean mutters.

 

“Doing what?” Nick’s gaze snaps up. “I’m sorry!”

 

“Stop it! You don’t even know what you are apologizing for,” Sean answers, sharper than he intended to.

 

“No… I’m sorry. I upset you.” Nick blushes deeply, and before Sean can stop him he drops down on his knees, hard enough that the sound of his knees hitting the floor echoes through the room. That had to hurt. “I’m so sorry for misbehaving, Sir. I'll expect your punishment.”

 

For a moment Sean feels at a loss. He has had quite some experience with Subs, and they are all different, but Nick obviously has been brainwashed into believing even breathing would upset his Dom, and it would warrant some sort of awful consequences. “You expect my punishment?” Sean decides to change his strategy, again, and raises his eyebrows. “And what exactly do you expect?”

 

“I...” Nick looks at him confused, blushing slightly. “You might want to...”

 

“Want to what?” Sean asks, tone even, feeling a twinge of guilt for teasing him like this. But he feels like this approach might be better than just telling him there is no need to feel upset over just everything. Also, Nick is... quite cute when he is confused.

 

“Whip me… maybe?” Nick stutters.

 

Sean kneels down as well, reaching out his hand to cup Nick’s cheek. Nick winces for a moment, probably afraid that he will get slapped. He looks at Sean in surprise though when the latter brushes with his thumb over his cheek. “If you want me to whip you, you have to try a bit harder,” Sean teases softly, the edges of his lips tugging into a smile. “And now let’s get up from the floor, mon faon.”

 

“Is this an order, Sir?” Nick’s gaze seems to shift, hands shivering.

 

Sean frowns a bit. Nick’s reaction catches him off-guard this time. He isn’t quite sure… Is he dropping? Now? But there wasn’t any real issue to make him drop, they aren’t in bed, they didn’t have a session. He didn’t punish Nick. Maybe Nick is just tired and tensed. Yet, Sean decides not to take a chance with it, and be extra cautious. “Nicholas, look at me.”

 

Nick follows his orders immediately. Sean keeps his hand on his cheek, stroking it softly, before he moves his hand to his neck, massaging tensed shoulder-blades. The position on the floor isn’t a good one, it’s uncomfortable, cold even. “I would like it if you stood up.”

 

Nick nods, his movements a bit shaky, but with Sean’s help he gets up, body leaning against Sean’s while he leads him to the sofa. It’s the tension of the day, Sean figures, or more likely even the tension of the last days. Who wouldn’t freak out? “Everything is fine,” Sean mutters, his fingers diving through Nick’s hair, massaging his scalp. “You are doing well, Nicholas.”

 

“Yes?” Nick mutters.

 

“Yes, you are perfect. Everyone would be happy to have you as their Sub, dear.” Sean pushes his hands under Nick’s shirt for more skin contact. He doesn’t want to undress Nick just yet, he didn’t drop too far, and taking him down now would probably scare him too much. Sean needs to make sure first how experienced he really is, and how much he knows about his own reactions. Sean pulls Nick closer to his body, while he continues massaging Nick’s shoulders and neck, his other hand rubbing over his back soothingly.

 

The shivering stops eventually.

 

Nick’s gaze becomes clearer. “What...” he mutters. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing, Nicholas,” Sean tells him softly. This is definitely not the moment for teasing. “You almost dropped.”

 

“I’m so sorry!”

 

“Apologizing again.” Sean sighs and continues to massage his shoulders. “This is just natural.”

 

“But isn’t it a bother?” Nick mutters.

 

“Not at all.” Sean looks at him earnestly, hoping he can convey his sincerity this way. “Every somewhat decent Dom should take his Subs down if necessary. We normally enjoy doing it too.”

 

“I don’t even know how to-” Nick shakes his head, obviously frustrated.

 

“You don’t know how to...?”

 

“My reactions, what I say, everything is off. I should be better. I _am_ better than that. I’ve learned it all,” Nick frowns. “I _can_ please you!”

 

Sean reaches out his hand again, his fingers brushing over Nick’s temples. “Look at me,” he orders.

 

Nick follows his words, gaze pinned to his face now.

 

“Do I look displeased in any way?”

 

“No,” Nick mutters.

 

“Why don’t you try to act around me like you normally would? We both have our own personalities aside of being Doms or Subs. It’s not all there is to us. You are not a slave. You are allowed to have an opinion or to voice your feelings. Like any other person.”

 

“But what if I am not the typical Sub,” Nick wants to know. “What if that will be a problem between us?”

 

“You are a Grimm, so obviously you are not going to be the typical Sub,” Sean smirks. “I know what I signed up for. If I would be upset over every tiny word you say, I will drop unconscious from exhaustion within the next week. I am not a delicate mimosa. And I don’t know what the people you lived with before told you, but I would suggest for you to see the world with your own eyes.” His smirk deepens. “You can still freak out later. You have enough time for drama left in your life. If you want to, I could even schedule an hour daily for a little amount of drama. Do you like to throw cups?”

 

Nick throws him a small glare, and to Sean’s relief he doesn’t apologize for it immediately afterwards.

 

“Who knows, maybe I am not even a typical Dom?” Sean mock-muses.

 

Nick looks at him thoughtfully, a hint of mischief in his eyes. “I think you are the textbook example of a typical Dom.”

 

“My, my,” Sean raises his eyebrows. “Look who can be quite cheeky?”

 

Nick looks at him tentatively, he doesn’t look like he is close to a panic attack anymore, but Sean can see he is holding back an apology or any other _suitable_ reaction he probably learned because they beat it into him. But he doesn’t say anything. It’s a test, for Sean, to prove to Nick that he is either just tricking him or… being honest.

 

Sean decides to act normal, the way he would always do. “Do you want a glass of wine now?” he asks, enough of brooding, he thinks. “Or beer? Which one do you prefer?”

 

Nick tilts his head to the side. “I don’t know. I neither had beer nor wine up to now,” he admits with a sweet blush on his cheeks.

 

Sean blinks. “You mean, you didn’t drink any of them?”

 

“No, we just had water and vitamins.” Nick admits.

 

“They didn’t even give you juice or anything alike?” Sean’s disbelief grows. He really needs to research more about this organization. Just what the heck are they doing to their Subs?

 

“We were on a specific diet.”

 

“What kind of diet?”

 

“Low on calories, higher protein, so that we wouldn’t gain weight, but keep some muscles. So that our future Doms would find us attractive. Not too muscular of course, because that’s for Doms, I think.”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean interrupts him quietly. “Not all Doms are muscular. It has nothing to do with body type actually. I know female Doms who are small in frame. And I know Subs who are tall and stronger than the usual person.”

 

“Really?” Nick asks, flabbergasted. His eyes widen in surprise. If this conversation wasn’t kinda sad, his reaction would be almost funny.

 

That’s why Nick probably sees him as the textbook example of a Dom. He is tall and muscular. Far above the average. “What do you like to eat?” He decides to shift the topic for now. With time Nick will learn by himself how much his anticipation of people and reality differs. “You said you were on a diet, but you aren’t in the organization anymore. So no need for a diet anymore. And I for one appreciate good food.” He smirks slightly. “I can teach you all about that~”

 

Nick beams. “Really?” Not quite the reaction Sean wanted to elicit, but nevertheless interesting. “We hardly got pasta or rice,” he tells him. “Oh...and...” He pauses.

 

“And?”

 

“You will find it stupid.”

 

Sean raises an eyebrow. “Let me be the one who judges that.”

 

Nick blushes slightly. “I once heard someone talk about Coke. Never had it, but… he described the taste, and I always wanted to try it.”

 

A smile sneaks on Sean’s face against his intention. He can’t quite hide it. “I don’t have anything alike here. For now I can offer you elderberry syrup. We have to delay your Coke-testing to tomorrow.”

 

 

~~~

 

A glance to his watch tells him it’s way past midnight, and Nick looks more and more tired with every passing minute. Sean didn’t want to send him to bed earlier because he enjoyed talking to him, and he was relieved that he started opening up to him. But now he figures they both need to get some sleep.

 

“I’m fine,” Nick says with a polite smile. “I’m not tired.” Nick looks like he wants to argue further that he doesn’t need a bed yet, and that they can stay up longer. And a part of Sean is happy about that, because it shows him that Nick does have at least a slight interest in getting to know him more. And a fighting spirit.

 

“I need you to be fit for tomorrow though,” Sean tells him. “I have quite some plans.”

 

“Really?” It seems he has awakened Nick’s interest. “What are we going to do?”

 

“I want to show you around here, at the apartment, Portland. Show you where we live. Then I’m sure you want to finally see the library and read about all the Wesen-stuff. I would like to take you out for lunch or dinner. We need to figure out the details of our contract-”

 

“Didn’t we do that already?” Nick asks in surprise.

 

“Not the marriage contract,” Sean explains. He isn’t even surprised anymore that Nick apparently has no idea at all how things run in this world. “It’s about the both of us, as Dom and Sub.” Sean pauses, wondering how he should explain it now and not make it more complicated than it already is. “What you like, what I like. Our limits. But we will talk about this tomorrow and I will explain it to you properly. And lastly,” Sean smirks. “I still have a surprise for you. I didn’t forget to get you a wedding gift.”

 

“You have a present for me?” Nick asks in surprise.

 

“Of course.”

 

“And what is it?”

 

Sean shakes his head. “If I told you now, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?” He looks at Nick. “So, what’s your decision? Stay up longer and miss half of everything tomorrow or go to sleep now?”

 

It’s not really a choice he is giving him, they both know it, but Sean doesn’t like to force his decisions on his Sub so bluntly. He wants him to think and understand, and agree on his own will. He has never forced anyone into submission before, and he won’t start doing it now. He still knows how to get his way.

 

“I will go to bed then,” Nick says. He blushes a bit. “Actually you were right. I am a bit tired.”

 

Sean smiles slightly. “Good Nicholas. Then I will show you your room.”

 

“I have an extra room?” Nick asks in surprise.

 

“Hm,” Sean puts his hand on the small of Nick’s back and leads him upstairs. “I thought you might like a place for yourself. You can also use it as your own little office or study, depending on your future plans.” Maybe one day Nick will feel comfortable enough around him to share a bed with him, but Sean doesn’t comment on that yet.

 

Nick’s bedroom is his former guest room. Sean hired an interior designer to design the furniture in a way so that the room would be warm and approachable.

 

“Is this really okay?” Nick asks. By the way he avoids his glance, Sean figures immediately what this is about.

 

“Yes, really, I won’t need your services tonight~”

 

Nick glares at him for a moment, much to Sean’s amusement. He really wears his heart on his sleeve, he thinks. His emotions are always so open.

 

“I won’t do anything until you aren’t ready,” Sean tells him once more. “So rest reassured, it is alright.”

 

Nick nods and when he looks at Sean, the glance in his eyes is warm all of a sudden. Different to before. It warms Sean’s chest for a moment. “When do you want me to get up?” Nick asks carefully.

 

Sean looks at him in confusion first, before it dawns on him. “You can get up whenever you want. I don’t expect you to wake up everytime I do.”

 

“Don’t you want me to prepare breakfast?”

 

“No, you are not my maid, unless you want to wear a costume for me, then I won’t stop you,” he smirks. “Though I like leather more than I like a maid-costume.”

 

Nick blushes furiously. He regathers his composure fast though. “Shouldn’t I do anything though?” he asks.

 

“You are a Grimm, Nicholas, you will have plenty to do soon,”

 

“And you will teach me about what to do as a Grimm?” he asks further.

 

Sean tilts his head. “I wonder if I know enough about Grimm work. I think we will need to rely on Meisner’s help. He knows more about Grimms than I do. I can teach you more about Wesen though. And maybe...” His voice trails off. It’s an idea he suddenly had. He and Nick will spend a lot of time together, Nick is still wary around him because he is not just a Dom but _his_ Dom, and maybe for Nick’s personal growth and development it would also be good to work together with someone else. Not just Sean, and Meisner. He needs to think that through better though, which is why he just smiles and drops the topic for now “We will think of a plan, don’t worry.”

 

Nick nods, and then suddenly he stretches a bit and kisses Sean’s cheek. He looks more shocked than Sean does. “Good night then,” he blurts out and closes the door behind him.

 

Sean feels a smile curling around his lips. He shakes his head a bit, walking back to the living room and cleaning up a bit. A glance on his phone tells him his mother called him. He calls back immediately. “Are you serious Mother?” he asks calmly. “You are calling me on my wedding night?”

 

“You already got intimate with each other?” she asks in disbelief.

 

“No, it’s way too early,” Sean answers.

 

“Then why the complain, Sean?” she laughs slightly.

 

Sean decides to ignore her teasing “You are only calling out of curiosity, aren’t you?”

 

“Curiosity and worry,” she admits. “So humor me, please.”

 

“I like him,” Sean states bluntly. With time he has learned that it’s way better to just tell her what she wants to know. The faster and more pragmatic, the better. “He seems to be kind and pleasant to be around, and surprisingly fun when he lets his guard down. He is still insecure around me, and he lacks confidence. But it was to be expected.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Indeed, Sean can hear her relief in her voice. “This is a chance, Sean. For the both of you.”

 

“What do you mean?” he asks in surprise.

 

“You were alone for so long, and you are used to people betraying you. He however is your Sub. He will be loyal to you. And you will be loyal to him. In a way you can both give something important to each other.”

 

Sean stays quiet for a few seconds. He didn’t expect her to say anything like that. He actually didn’t expect her to even think that way. He personally never had these thoughts, and he is not so sure what he is supposed to say or even think now.

 

“Are you still there, Sean?”

 

“Yes, I’m just a little surprised, Mother.”

 

“Don’t tell me your life feels complete. Is there really nothing missing for you?” she inquires further.

 

Sean sighs. Why did she always have to be so bothersome. “Mother...”

 

“Fine, fine, you won. I will stop now,” she chuckles. “So you managed to make Nicholas open up to you, at least a bit?”

 

“It’s still a long way,” Sean admits. “Also...”

 

“Also?”

 

“It might be my imagination,” Sean tilts his head, thinking a few hours back to how Nick almost dropped without him even doing anything. It’s like something got triggered in his mind, and… “I have the feeling he drops pretty fast.”

 

“Really?” she sounds surprised. “You said you didn’t get intimate.”

 

“We didn’t.”

 

“Don’t tell me you punished him?”

 

“Of course not!” Sean frowns. “That’s why I was surprised. There was a moment when he thought I was upset. It was all in his mind though. He suddenly went on his knees for me, without me prompting it. And he was not quite… here with me. To add to everything he also apologizes a ton lot. I am not sure if it’s only because this is a new situation for him, or if it goes deeper.”

 

His mother stays surprisingly quiet.

 

“Mother, are you still there?”

 

“Yes,” she sounds serious all of a sudden. “If a Sub drops so fast, Sean, they might suffer from a trauma. I mean, some Subs do drop faster than others, but normally not without… you know…”

 

Sean sighs. “Can you look into it?”

 

“Of course, I will see if the organization drugs them or what else they do. Just be prepared Sean that you might need to help him to go down soon. Find a way you can do it without breaching his trust or he might get scared.”

 

“I know what I am doing,” he mutters.

 

He can almost hear her smile. “Of course you do.”

 

He isn’t sure if she is teasing him or if she really means it. He figures it’s probably a mix out of both. To his own surprise he doesn’t mind though.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we have chapter 2. I promise Nick will become more confident and more like the Nick we know with time. He is a Grimm after all. And before I forget: Hank will appear too of course. And Wu. Sean is still a Captain here, and Wu and Hank his detectives. 
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if you noticed, but Sean still calls Nick Nicholas :D I wonder when that will change. 
> 
> This relationship is going to be quite some work for Sean, mainly because Nick has no idea how things run and he thinks everything he does might be wrong (Meanwhile Sean is like: Really? Why would I get upset over something so minor? -_-) But I think there is some initial attraction between them, right? I hope I was able to somehow convey that ><
> 
> I hope you like this chapter!   
> As always I'm really thankful for your comments, ideas, feedback ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick slowly grows more comfortable around Sean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest I have ever needed for a chapter. I rewrote it so many times ><

 

_The walls surrounding him are thick. Dark and thick. No light is illuminating the room._

 

_He tries to see something, anything, but he can’t._

 

_He hammers against the door, against the walls, begs for help._

 

_He screams, but no one hears him._

 

_He is so tired from all the screaming, and his voice feels hoarse. He isn’t sure how long he can keep screaming. He should preserve his voice._

 

_But he doesn’t._

 

_He can’t stop crying for help._

 

 

He feels a warm hand against cheek, a thumb stroking it soothingly. He is not sure if he is dreaming it or if it’s really happening.

 

“Nick.” The hand feels warm and soft. “It’s alright. You are safe.”

 

It sounds like Sean. But Sean doesn’t call him Nick normally. It’s a dream.

 

It’s a dream.

 

He wishes it would be real.

 

But… dream.

 

He slips into darkness again.

 

 

_Nick looks directly into the eyes of… of a… beast. He doesn’t know what it is. He doesn’t know if he goes crazy, if his mind is playing tricks on him, but he sees it. Clearly. Animal. Human. Both? It has the face of a snake, no, no snake, more like another reptile. A gecko maybe._

 

“ _Grimm,” it breaths out, when it looks at him. And then nothing more. And suddenly its claws are reaching for him, hands pushing him against the wall._

 

_He drops down from there, it hurts, but his survival instincts make him forget the pain. He doesn’t know he even has them. But they are here, sharp, strong._

 

_When Nick’s senses return his attacker is dead._

 

_He doesn’t look like an animal anymore._

 

 

Nick blinks his eyes awake. Damn it, what a night. He remotely remembers the first nightmare that night, and how he dreamed of Sean waking him up from it. He can’t quite remember anymore what he dreamed of, but when he tries to think of it his chest tightens.

 

The second dream was bad too, but not that bad. He dreams of it continuously. It’s been his first… Wesen. Meisner explained to him that’s how they are called.

 

It’s been his first.

 

It’s also been the first person he ever killed. He wishes there won’t be more, killings obviously, but when he told that to Meisner, Meisner had just looked away, like he didn’t want to crush him with the truth.

 

He doesn’t want to be a killer.

  
He just… doesn’t…

 

He…

 

Damn it, his head hurts.

 

Nick sighs while crawling out his bed, and for a moment he looks around in confusion. It takes him a few seconds to realize where he is. It’s not a stranger’s room, he has not been abducted, he is in his… new home.

 

The word sounds strange to his ears. Frankly, Nick has no idea what the word home even means.

 

 

 

 

 

Nick follows the scent of coffee downstairs. He still feels strange in this place, a bit like...well… a stranger. He sneaked into the bathroom this morning, a bit scared that it would not be okay, but he can’t get up without taking a shower, and well, he decided to just go with it. If Sean has anything against it, he will tell him.

 

Nick knows Sean told him to just do things _in a normal way_ , but he is still not sure if he can really trust him. And quite honestly, he isn’t even so sure what normal means for him. Yesterday night, talking with Sean was nice, pleasant even. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if he is teasing him or not, or if he is being sarcastic or not, but his words don’t seem to come from a bad place. Nick just doesn’t want to be too happy yet, in case it’s all just a trick, and Sean suddenly turns out to be just the type of Dom everyone warned him about.

 

But then, he didn’t sleep with Nick. The major part of Nick feels deeply thankful for that. Even with the tiny experience he has, he figures that it wouldn’t have been a good experience at all, considering how stressed he was. But a tiny part of him feels almost disappointed that Sean didn’t even try to touch him.

 

Nick blushes at his own thoughts. What the heck is he even thinking? He doesn’t even know Sean yet. He does look attractive, incredibly attractive, has this broad chest, and long fingers. And…

 

It’s freaking confusing. He is scared of Doms in general, and Sean is not an exception. He still feels insecure around his presence, yet also a bit more relaxed and comfortable by now. He wants to take things slow, but yet his mind and his whole being scream at him to please his Dom. It’s like an inner voice.

 

Don’t mess up. Don’t mess up. Don’t mess up. Please him. Fuck you, Nick, don’t dare to mess up!

 

He isn’t sure if it’s something he got brainwashed into thinking or something natural because he is a Sub or… maybe both.

 

Nick shakes his head. This is too complicated, all of it. Sean didn’t touch him, and he should be thankful about it. He actually is. It’s just… maybe Sean doesn’t find him attractive in return. Or he really just wants to give him enough time. Damn it. He nods firmly to himself. For now he will do exactly what Sean advised him to do yesterday. Go with the flow. Learn his way around this place here, and learn about Sean’s work and his tasks as a Grimm. And then he can still overthink everything.

 

“Good morning,” he greets Sean with a careful smile.

 

Sean returns it, his lips tugging into a smile as well. He doesn’t smile often it seems. His expression is always like he is on guard. Meisner told him he is used to being back-stabbed a lot. So maybe that’s why.

 

“Good morning,” Sean looks at him, eyes thoughtful, but also welcoming. “You are already awake?”

 

Nick nods tentatively. “I wanted to have breakfast with you…. I hope… that’s okay.” Wow, great Nick, way to sound awkward, although it’s the truth. He wants to get to know Sean better. His presence does have something alluring to him. And he has a way to make Nick more comfortable, by making him uncomfortable first… and teasing him… but the outcome is good. Well, it makes more sense in Nick’s head. Sean is interesting, he has to admit as much.

 

“Well, I feel honored,” Sean states, only a hint of teasing in his voice. “I have just made coffee. Let’s make breakfast together. Do you want to eat poached eggs?”

 

“Oh,” Nick blinks. It seems like last night was really just a dream, otherwise Sean would comment on it. Well, partly Nick is relieved, he doesn't want Sean to think he is broken. No one wants a broken object. “Right, Meisner said you can cook.”

 

Sean turns to look at him, expression even as usual, but there is a certain glint in his eyes. It sends a shiver of anticipation down Nick’s spine. He can’t help it. “Oh did he?” Sean says with a deadpan expression.

 

Nick catches himself thinking... that he wants Sean to direct one of these glances at him. He licks his lips. “Is it true?”

 

“I think compared to Meisner’s cooking skills I’m probably quite skilled, but if you want to know if I’m some sort of great chef, I have to disappoint you,” Sean says with the hint of a smirk.

 

It makes Nick chuckle slightly. Then he follows Sean around the kitchen and learns the place of everything. “Do you want to eat in the kitchen or the salon?” Sean asks him.

 

“I like both.”

 

“And which one do you like more?”

 

“The huge windows in the salon are...” Nick looks at his fingers to hide his embarrassment. “They give me a sense of freedom, you know. Like I’m outside. We weren’t outside a lot...”

 

“You can always go outside, Nicholas,” Sean tells him, his voice warm all of a sudden, almost emotional. “Fine then, petit faon, let’s eat in the salon.”

 

What does this word even mean? Sean has called him fa- something a few times already. By the tone of his voice it can’t be an insult, but Nick wishes he would know what exactly it means. He is still too shy around Sean to ask directly though.

 

He steals a few glances at Sean while they eat. Sean has warmed up some croissants for them, there is ham and cheese, and jam, and eggs. And Nick is so hungry, he feels like he can devour it all. Sean doesn’t seem to mind at all though, he even moves some of the plates towards Nick. “I will get fat that way,” Nick mutters. Only when Sean chuckles under his breath, he realize he just said it out loud. “Forget I said that, please, Sir.”

 

“Only if you call me Sean,” Sean folds his hands and lets his chin rest against them, looking at Nick insistently.

 

“I’m sorry, you already told me yesterday. Sean.”

 

“The next time you forget I will make you write my name down two hundred times,” Sean states earnestly.

 

For a moment Nick isn’t sure if he is joking or not. He knows there are Doms who like to punish that way, by letting their Subs write lines or something alike. But two hundred sounds like an awful lot, and-

 

The corner of Sean’s lips tug, his eyes glinting in amusement.

 

“You got me again,” Nick grumbles.

 

“You are a pretty easy victim,” Sean teases. “And just for your information: You won’t get fat by eating this breakfast. You are a tall, strong man, and you need to eat properly. Besides I don’t punish by letting my Sub write lines, I always found that… rather childish. Not my cup of tea. If anything,” He looks at Nick with a hint of amusement. “I would make you say it two hundred times instead.”

 

Nick can feel something in his stomach tug slightly at the way Sean looks at him. It’s not an uncomfortable feeling though, just… new.

 

 

~~~

 

Sean has shown Nick the library, also the secret part of it with Wesen-related books. He is not a Grimm, so he doesn’t have any Grimm books, but Kelly Burkhardt had. Meisner was able to retrieve them from her possession after she died, scared that it might fall into the wrong hands, and now Sean can’t wait to give them to his young Sub. A little wedding surprise.

 

While Nick is sticking his head into the books – he has read one about Hexenbiests and even had the one or other curious question towards Sean – Sean meets Sebastien in his home office.

 

“You want Nicholas to have a… teacher who is neither you nor Meisner?”

 

“Well, to a certain extent he needs me and Meisner, so we’ll have to work together with him anyways, but I think for Nicholas it might be good to have another, you know independent person, helping him,” Sean sighs. “I hate to rely on someone else, but for Nicholas’ well-being and development… he needs a friend, and not someone who is related to me.”

 

Sebastien’s eyes light up for a moment, he looks pleased, happy almost. It’s a rare expression on the rather controlled young man’s face. They know each other for a long time now, but it seems that asking for help from someone outside his circle of friends has made Sebastien see something new in him. “I think,” Sebastien muses. “I have an idea.”

 

“Awesome. Enlighten me.”

 

Sebastien folds his hands. “I know someone who knows someone...”

 

“And who’s that?”

 

“A vegetarian Blutbad.”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “When you say vegetarian, you mean he doesn’t hunt Humans or other Wesen?”

 

“No, he doesn’t eat any meat at all.”

 

Sean narrows his eyes, a hint of anger in them, he half expects Sebastien to start laughing, but he doesn’t. “You are serious, aren’t you?”

 

“By all means.” Sebastien tilts his head. “I would never suggest your young husband to work with a Blutbad out of all, if it wasn’t someone special.”

 

“But you don’t know him personally, do you?” Sean asks with a frown. “Who is that ominous friend of yours who knows him?”

 

“I wouldn’t call him friend,” Sebastien muses. “And he isn’t ominous either. He is a Eisbiber. A bit exhausting, but pretty harmless by nature.”

 

“I definitely need a proper background check,” Sean frowns. “Can you get into contact with your apparently harmless friend who knows him? And introduce them both to me first?”

 

“Of course,” Sebastien nods firmly.

 

For a while Sean looks at him, before he nods. “Come, I want you to meet him. In case you also want to.”

 

“I would love to,” Sebastien smiles.

 

Sean leads his friend to the library, opening the door. He is not quite able to stop a grin spreading across his face at the picture in front of him. Nick is lying on the carpet, surrounded by a bunch of books, frowning in deepest concentration.

 

“Nicholas?” Sean looks at Nick in amusement. “I see, you have been catching up a lot.”

 

Nick looks up. “There is so much,” he says quietly. “I’m still only scratching on the surface.”

 

Sean nods, he can understand and sympathize with Nick’s frustration. His life changed drastically from one day to another. Everything he knows changed. He lives in a completely new reality, and no one prepared him for it. “I know,” he says. “But how about for now you greet Sebastien. He wants to meet you.”

 

Nick’s gaze shifts to the door, he blushes while he scrambles to his feet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know we weren’t alone,” he stutters.

 

Sean wonders if Nick knows that he just admitted to feeling more comfortable around Sean alone, and that he can act a bit more casual when it’s just them. He assumes it was Nick’s subconscious saying it. Sean smiles into himself, but decides not to comment on it for the sake of not scaring his young husband away and destroy the small progress they are making.

 

“Non, non, mon dieu.” Sebastien shakes his head. “I am the one who needs to apologize for barging in like that.” He looks at Nick with a careful smile. “We saw each other at Meisner’s, but only briefly.”

 

Nick nods. “You gave me Sean’s photo, I remember.” He smiles politely. “I was so thankful for that.”

 

“Sebastien is my assistant and secretary,” Sean explains after a while. “I know him for many years. He will also be the one driving you to Meisner.” He has caught Nick’s interest immediately, it’s obvious by the way Nick’s eyes widen.

 

“Meisner?”

 

“Yes, I thought you wanted to train a bit and understand your Grimm powers. He is good.”

 

Nick beams, and it dawns on Sean that it’s the first time he sees him so openly happy. “And you?” Nick asks shyly. “Aren’t you training me?”

 

“I think,” Sean says with the most deadpan expression he can muster. “For us it’s better if I kick your butt somewhere else~”

 

Nick looks at him in slight confusion, while Sebastien blushes deeply. “Well,” Sebastien stutters. “Meisner said, you can begin your training whenever you want to.”

 

“Really?” Nick’s eyes widen. He looks at Sean. “When do you want me to start?”

 

“What do you want, Nicholas?” Sean asks in return. “It’s not my training but yours.” When Nick shifts around nervously, a stressed expression suddenly creeping over his face, he shows him an encouraging smile. “You want to start as soon as possible, am I right?”

 

Nick looks down to the floor. “Only if you approve of it.”

 

“You can begin whenever you want to. I’m back at work next week,” Sean offers, slowly starting to realize that freedom is a concept Nick can’t quite grasp yet. He needs more… options, and more guidance. He brushes over Nick’s shoulder soothingly to make him loosen up again. “Maybe this would be a good time for you to start as well?”

 

“Yes,” Nick smiles happily.

 

“Now that’s settled, put the books back,” Sean tilts his head, scanning Nick’s face properly and noting how red his eyes are from all the reading in highest concentration. “It’s enough studying for today.”

 

Nick looks like he wants to protest, but he doesn't dare to. He bites down his lips a bit and looks down on his fingers while he nods.

 

Sean decides to indulge him a bit. He really has difficulties to open up. “Aren’t you hungry?” he urges. “I faintly remember that I promised you a dinner date tonight.”

 

Nick blinks, apparently remembering Sean’s promise from last night. “Oh, right,” he sounds excited all of a sudden, his cheeks flush a bit. “I need to change.”

 

“Don’t dress too fancy,” Sean tells him, relieved how fast he was able to pull Nick out of his stubborn state. He originally wanted to take Nick to a fancier place, but their talk yesterday gave him a new idea. “I remember you said something about pasta yesterday. Sebastien booked us a table at a nice Italian restaurant.”

 

Nick shows him a genuine smile before he hurries upstairs to change. Sebastien throws Sean an inscrutable glance. “What?” Sean asks.”

 

“You obviously find him endearing,” he comments. “I didn’t know you could be that sensitive.”

 

“Is that a problem?” Sean frowns.

 

“Au contraire,” Sebastien smiles. “I’m relieved. It goes way better than expected. He is also more natural around you.”

 

“Do you have anything else to discuss with me?” Sean asks calmly, instead of answering to Sebastien’s previous comment. He is not going to embarrass himself in front of anyone else than… well… himself.

 

Sebastien’s lips tug slightly, but he shakes his head. “That’s all. Just… I have prepared the wedding present for you, like you asked me to. It’s going to be here when you are back from dinner.”

 

“Thank you,” Sean nods contently. “And tell me once you know more about that friend of yours.”

 

Sebastien nods his consent. “I will.”

 

 

 

 

“I am amazed,” Sean parks his car in his garage. “I thought you would quit at the tiramisu, but you faced it bravely.”

 

Nick smiles carefully, as if to test the ground first. “It faced no chance,” he jokes. His cheeks are a bit rosy. The night out has done wonders on him.

 

“Absolutely,” Sean teases. “Poor defenseless tiramisu.” He opens the door for them to get in, reminding him that he has to give Nick his second key. And his present. “Let’s change swiftly and then meet in the living room.”

 

Nick nods obediently and retracts to his room. For a moment it’s quiet. Sean waits patiently, not moving an inch, until he hears a gasp, the sound of someone shuffling around, an exclaim of surprise. And then Nick is suddenly standing in the corridor. “Is this...”

 

“Did you read the envelop I put on top of it?” Sean asks.

 

Nick nods, eyes wide. “This is… this is… from my mother and...”

 

“It’s your family’s legacy,” Sean explains to him. “Meisner and I managed to retrieve it for you, before my family could get a hand on it.”

 

“In there are books and weapons!” Nick’s eyes gleam, and for a moment Sean can indeed see the Grimm in him. Fascinating in a way.

 

He steps a bit closer, leaning against the door frame and watching Nick shuffling around. There are two huge chests in his room, all filled with objects and books. “These are all Grimm books, written by your ancestors,” Sean explains. “They are different to the ones I have.”

 

“They are mine now?” Nick stutters.

 

“Yes, they are yours,” Sean smiles while he looks around. “Though we have to find a safe place to store them. Ideally a secret place. They are very valuable and a lot of people might search for them.” He pauses. “And Nicholas?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I hope it goes without saying that I don’t want you to take one of these weapons and head out on your own,” Sean looks at him insistently. “Also the books are not here for you to read all of them at once, or worse, secretly at night. I don’t want you to drop unconscious in exhaustion. Am I being clear?”

 

Nick nods reluctantly. “Yes, Sir.”

 

Sean feels his reluctance, but Nick sounded genuine when he gave the promise. “Good, how much time will you need to delve in everything before I can see you downstairs?” he teases.

 

Nick blushes slightly. “I can come immediately,” he offers, of course he does. By now Sean has pretty much realized he wants to please him as much as he can.

 

“Half an hour will do too,” Sean states warmly, trying to hide his amusement when Nick looks almost too happy. Like a little kid on Christmas. Sean leaves him alone to have his privacy while going through the memories of his mothers and aunt and whoever else these books belonged too. Nick doesn’t know much about his past, maybe this will help him a bit to connect with the family he lost way too early.

 

Instead of heading directly down to the living room, Sean switches into a pair of black jeans and his beige sweater and walks out on the terrace. The nights are getting chillier he notes.

 

He taps against the balustrade thoughtfully. He wonders about his next steps. Living with Nick works surprisingly well, but it’s only been what? Two days? Yet he can see hope blossoming in Nick’s eyes. Sean hopes he is not going to disappoint Nick. He normally doesn’t lack self-confidence at all, but this is a completely different situation. He has to take care of his sub in a way he has never done before. Be extra cautious and careful. Uncertainty and sudden harsh words and unusual reactions make Nick’s stress level go up fast. His mother told him to be prepared for Nick dropping, even before they get intimate with each other. Nick needs time, he knows and respects that, but how is he going to take Nick down when he needs it? How not make it sexual?

 

Does Nick even know himself how fast he seems to drop?

 

They really need to talk about this soon. Sean doesn’t even know his safe-word yet, and he is not going to lay a finger on him before he has heard it.

 

“Sean?” He can hear Nick’s voice.

 

“I am on the terrace.”

 

“Should I bring something to drink along?”

 

Something about the way he calls his name, and the whole scenery in itself, strikes something in Sean. It’s… it gives him such a domestic vibe. Maybe it’s because Nick can’t see him at the moment, maybe he is still feeling excited about the present he got, but all of a sudden he sounds so casual, like he is talking to a friend. “No, let’s do that when we are in the living room.”

 

He almost expects Nick to wait for him there, but to his surprise Nick slips out through the door leading to the terrace and joins him. He looks happy, maybe the happiest Sean has seen him up to now. He has never tried to make someone really happy, he never saw any benefit in it, but seeing Nick’s smile warms his heart. Maybe it’s his drive as a Dom, his body telling him to treat his Sub different than he treats other people.

 

Or Nick’s innocence just touched something in him which he has hidden deep beneath him.

 

Maybe it’s a mix out of both. He has no idea, honestly.

 

“I...” Nick pauses, then he wraps his arms around Sean’s waist all of a sudden. “Thank you.”

 

Sean is surprised to say the least. He tries to stay indifferent, but his heart betrays him by skipping a beat. He pulls Nick in a hug, his fingers brushing through his hair softly. “I have something else for you,” he says after a while. “Something… more personal, you could say.”

 

“But you already gave me so much,” Nick points out.

 

“Well, as I said, it’s something more personal.” Sean’s fingers are massaging the nape of Nick’s neck now, his thumb rubbing he spot right below Nick’s ear. Nick sighs into the touch. He needs to remember this spot, Sean thinks.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Damn it, he enjoys this. He enjoys this a bit too much. But feeling Sean’s long fingers in his hair, and how they move over his neck… For a split second he wonders if he should just go for it and lean into a kiss. It’s a bold thought, hidden somewhere deep in his mind. But everything about Sean is alluring, and a tiny part of Nick just wants to feel him all around him.

 

Nick looks up when a sudden cold breeze hits him, and he shivers slightly.

 

With that all his courage is gone.

 

“It’s cold outside,” Sean comments, eyebrows furrowed slightly. He rubs over Nick’s arms while his sharp gaze scans him from head to toe. Nick’s knees almost go weak at the look in Sean’s eyes.

 

He wants to tell Sean he is feeling warm enough, just so that they can spend a few more minutes outside, but Sean puts one of his hands on his shoulder, the other taking him by his hand, and leads him back inside. On the table in the living room Nick sees two jewel cases, one smaller, the other slightly bigger. Again his curiosity outweighs all the other more complicated emotions.

 

Sean hands him the smaller one first.

 

“What is this?” Nick asks curiously.

 

“Open it,” Sean nudges him softly. “It’s your real wedding present.”

 

It embarrasses Nick that he receives yet another gift, but it also makes him unusually happy. Once he opened the little box his eyes fall on a bracelet. It has the form of slim ring, a rather simple yet elegant design. And it’s entirely out of black diamonds. He has never seen such a beautiful piece. And he has never been gifted anything remotely so valuable. His throat feels dry all of a sudden.

 

“Sean, this is so… stunning… so… it’s too expensive,” he stutters.

 

“You don’t want it?” Sean asks.

 

“No! That’s not it!”

 

“You find it ugly?”

 

Nick carefully slips it over his wrist. “No, it’s the most beautiful piece of jewelry I ever laid eyes upon.”

 

“I see, it’s probably embarrassing to wear it...”

 

“No, I will wear it of course. I will...” Nick pauses, pouting slightly. “You are teasing me, am I right?”

 

“A bit,” Sean says with a deadpan expression. Nick looks at him for a while, realizing he is _still_ teasing him. He doesn't know if he should be annoyed now or amused or something in between. But then Sean’s lips tug a bit, and he smiles slightly. Nick can’t do anything else but to return the smile. “The diamonds are from a wristband my mother passed on to me. She gave it to me to one day give it to the Sub I bind myself to.” Sean tilts his head. “I brought it to my jeweler and had it altered into a more modern and suitable design. I thought it would appeal more to you that way.”

 

Nick listens in awe, looking at the bracelet around his wrist. It fits perfectly. The fact that it’s not just a piece Sean bought for him, but actually something personal he inherited and then… altered and let it be designed just for Nick, makes it hard to breathe all of a sudden. “Thank you,” he stutters, feeling like a knot is suddenly stuck in his throat. “It is so beautiful! I… I don’t even know what to say… or how I deserve this… and...” he swallows.

 

For a moment they are both quiet, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence. Nick feels deeply touched and happy, and going by the look in Sean’s eyes he feels pretty content too.

 

“There is something else...” Sean says after a while, taking the second jewel case. He looks at Nick thoughtfully, like he is unsure how to go about it. “And I want you to know that this is in no way something to pressure you with. But it didn’t feel right not to buy you one...”

 

Nick instantly can feel the mood change. He straightens his back a bit, eyes pinned to the item in Sean’s hand. Is this…

 

No, probably not.

 

But hopefully it is. He wants a personal collar from Sean. Even if they haven’t even kissed properly yet, and weren’t intimate yet, but... it… a collar just for him would mean so much. Sean talks about not wanting to pressure Nick, but to Nick this is different. For him there is so much more meaning to a collar than just something his Dom puts on him.

 

“I know you received a collar for the wedding,” Sean starts, and Nick swears, he can’t even believe what he just heard. It really is one!? “But isn’t it quite...impractical?”

 

Nick can’t help a soft chuckle. His wedding collar was a bit heavy, and scratchy, typical royal heritage. To many jewels. Not that he complains, because he knows tons of Subs would envy him for it, but... “A bit.”

 

“I think the same,” Sean chuckles. “Which is why I got you another, a personal one.” He opens the box for Nick to see. “It’s a lot simpler than the one you had for our wedding. But I thought,” He pauses while Nick’s eyes trail over the collar. Sean hands it to him and Nick carefully lets his fingers brush over the material. The collar is black, classic design, leather, but not thick and broad… and clunky. It’s rather thin, the material soft and gentle, not cheap and shiny. There are no ugly looking spikes and rings attached to it, just a single black bring in the center. The stitching is subtle too and there are only a very few grey gems woven into it. It’s going to fit perfectly around his neck. Nick swallows, it’s custom made obviously.

 

“I thought...” Sean picks up their conversation again. “Or rather I hoped you will like this one more, and that it will be more like...”

 

“Like a blanket,” Nick answers automatically.

 

“Is that how it feels to you?” Sean asks, slight interest in his voice.

 

“Yes,” Nick says dreamily. He feels drawn to the collar Sean purchased for him. He likes it for its classical design and for the fact that there are hardly any expensive diamonds or jewels on it, just a very few gems. “It’s… like an anchor, something which keeps me safe. When I feel stressed, I can cling to it. It’s so hard to explain. “He blushes. “And probably boring. I’m sorry.”

 

“On the contrary, I find it very interesting to know what it means to you as a Sub,” Sean admits. “When it’s about things like this I can only know as much as you tell me.”

 

“Would you...” Nick begins, before he blushes even further. Shit, he was about to ask Sean if he could put it on him. Shut up, Nick, and keep it together. This is way too intimate. Sean would never... “Nothing, I’m sorry...” he stutters.

 

Sean takes the collar out of his hands. He doesn't prompt Nick to say anything. “Allow me.”

 

“Really?” Nick’s eyes go wide. “You would?”

 

“I like the fact that I’m the only one who is allowed to put it on you.”

 

“Is that how it feels to you as a Dom?” Nick asks, now it’s him who feels interested to know more.

 

Sean nods, stepping a bit closer and wrapping the collar around Nick’s neck, clipping it close. He carefully puts a finger between the collar and his neck to see if there is enough space, nodding contently. Nick closes his eyes, his knees feeling weak all of a sudden, but not in an uncomfortable way. It’s more like the tension bleeds out of his body all of a sudden, and his mind feels blank, not loaded with doubts and insecurities. “I can keep it?” he whispers.

 

“Of course, it is yours.” Sean’s voice sounds earnest, and it sends a shiver down his spine.

 

“Am I allowed to put it on myself and wear it?” he asks, not even noting how much bolder his behavior suddenly got. Everything feels so much more intense to him. Sean’s scent, his touch. At the same time Nick himself feels so much calmer.

 

Sean’s hand is back on his neck, his thumb pushing beneath the collar and rubbing the skin there. “Of course, you can wear it whenever you feel like it.”

 

Nick closes his eyes, a blissful smile on his lips. This feels good. He figures if someone else would touch his neck that way, he would feel intimidated or scared, but Sean does it in a way that makes him rather relax. “Sean?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Are you ever going to show me your Zauberbiest?” Nick asks. Sean’s finger stop moving for a moment. “I’m sorry,” Nick blurts out. “I didn’t mean to push you or to come off as demanding or too curious!”

 

“You didn’t push me,” Sean answers quietly, continuing his massage. “Listen Nicholas, sometimes you need to give me some time to answer and react. Silence does not always mean that I’m upset.”

 

“No?”

 

“No, in fact I was just… thinking,” Sean’s thumb presses into his shoulder now, tensed muscles flexing there. Nick lets out a sigh. “I don’t want to scare you.”

 

“I wouldn’t be scared,” Nick argues.

 

Again Sean stays quiet, and this time Nick gives him a moment to think. “I understand why you want to see it,” Sean finally says. “But it’s too early now. But this is not a permanent no, Nicholas. I want us to get to know each other as Sean and Nicholas first, and then we can think about introducing my Zauberbiest to your Grimm.”

 

There is finality in his voice, and Nick takes a deep breath to fight down his curiosity and his impatience. “I understand,” he finally says respectfully.

 

“There is something else,” Sean stops the movement of his fingers. It forces Nick to open his eyes and look at his Dom.

 

“Yes?”

 

“How do you feel, Nicholas?” Sean looks at him insistently. “I want to talk with you about the contract, but I need you to be fully awake and mentally there to do it.”

 

“I’m okay.”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows, his ever so stoic face not revealing anything to Nick. “And honestly?”

 

Nick blushes, horrified how easily Sean looked through him. “I feel a bit…” he pauses, not sure how to continue.

 

Sean sighs. “How about I will finally tell you one of my main rules?”

 

Nick blinks, his interest suddenly awakened, more so than before. This is the first time Sean mentions anything alike. “Yes, please!”

 

“My number one rule is: Be honest.” Sean tilts his head, looking directly into Nick’s eyes. He doesn’t look angry or vicious, there is nothing accusing in his gaze, he is just stating a fact. “I don’t like being lied to. This includes lying about your health.” His expression softens a bit. “I know what you want to say, Nicholas, and why. But you don’t need to lie to me because you think I won’t like to hear the truth. Try me.”

 

Nick licks his lips nervously. “I… I feel a bit tired,” he admits. “But I… I really long to know some basics. I… it makes me a bit nervous not to know what you expect.”

 

To his surprise Sean looks content. He smiles warmly. “Thank you for being honest with me, Nicholas. I really appreciate it.” He pauses. “So, I have an offer. For today we go to bed, but first thing in the morning after breakfast we will discuss some basics, as you called it, and I will answer some of your burning questions. How does that sound?”

 

“I… this would be lovely,” Nick agrees with a relieved smile. He pauses, blushing slightly. “Can we still stay up a bit and just… talk? Only if you feel like it of course. If you want me to go to bed instead, I will follow your order of course and...” His voice trails off, he is babbling too much. As always.

 

Sean’s lips tug into an amused smile. “Care for some tea?”

 

Nick nods happily.

 

“Black, green or Rooibos?”

 

Nick blinks. “I didn’t have either up to now.”

 

Sean stares at him, eyebrows raised so much they almost touch his hairline. “Now you are messing with me.”

 

Nick blushes slightly. “I would never.”

 

“You never had tea?”

 

“I just had chamomile tea, and occasionally peppermint tea.”

 

“What about coffee?” Sean inquires, and when Nick shakes his head: “Cocoa?”

 

“The coffee you made for me this morning was the first, as for the second… no.”

 

Sean lets out a deep sigh. When he winks at Nick though, Nick understands that he isn’t frustrated, rather surprised. “Let’s start with Rooibos. Considering your lacking tea experience everything else would keep you awake the whole night.” He smiles. “And we wouldn’t want that, am I right?”

 

Nick returns the smile, nodding his agreement. There is no way he will stay awake all night – willingly – when he is so curious to know what he and Sean are going to discuss tomorrow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more like an intermediate chapter, I needed it to let the characters (mainly Nick and Sean :D) interact a bit more. The real stuff will start from next chapter on. 
> 
> I hope you liked it although nothing really happened ^^ 
> 
> As always your comments and feedback are loved ♥
> 
>  
> 
> And because it's going to be important for the next chapters, here the most important terms of this D/s universe:
> 
>  **Subdrop:** It's actually a chemical dis-balance after a heavier BDSM scene. It's a bit like after the high of a scene is over, a Sub can drop into some sort of depression. Normally it only happens after a scene, but for Nick, because he is traumatized, it can happen even without it. In this verse Subs suffering from trauma can drop when they are triggered (through actions, words, guilt etc.), or feeling guilty, they can also drop when they are drugged. The effects can be pretty similar to one of a panic attack.
> 
>  **Take a sub down:** It's what a Dom does when a Sub needs help to relax or to let go or to sleep, or when they are tensed. It's not necessarily a negative thing, it's more due to what they are (to their gender, if you want to call it that way) Generally Subs can also do this on their own or with professional help (medication for example). When they can't do it on their own, they need someone to help them with it. If a Dom helps with it, it doesn't need to be through a spanking, it can also be through a massage, sex, cuddling, whatever the Sub needs at the moment. It depends heavily on how far down the Sub already is, their mentality etc. Every Sub is different. 
> 
> **Subspace:** It's a bit like a Sub is feeling high, and it normally happens during a scene. 
> 
> **Dom High:** Pretty much similar to Subspace, just that it involves the Dom. Dom High is a lot more rare than a Sub going into Subspace, but it can happen to them when they are in charge of a scene and get high on the power. (Just like Subspace it's not a negative thing, but Doms need to be cautious during both phases)
> 
>  **Subshock:** It's a condition of shock, mostly after sexual abuse or other assaults towards a Sub. It can also happen when a Sub was forced to drop through drugs and taken advantage of in their vulnerable state. 
> 
> **Limits:** It's what Dom and Sub negotiate, what they are ready and willing to do in bed. Basically it's about what they are hesitant to do in bed, during a scene (soft limits) and what they will absolutley not do (hard limits). Had limits are a no-go, non debatable. Soft limits are negotiable, it can be something the other party is wary about, but okay to try. Soft limits can also mean that to approach them the Dom for example needs to be extra careful, take more time, be well prepared etc.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean and Nick talk about their limits and rules. An unpleasant visitor appears.

Nick’s eyes are red-rimmed the next morning. So either he has cried or not slept well. Sean assumes and hopes it’s the second. He cups Nick’s cheek, his thumb rubbing over the spot right below Nick’s eyes. He looks tired indeed, but Sean doesn’t comment on it… for now. If Nick continues having sleep problems, he will need to do something about it to help him.

 

Sean himself is used to rising early, so he gladly already prepared some tea and coffee. And… “Here, Nicholas,” Sean hands him a key to their apartment and a new mobile phone. Nick looks at it in surprise. “Is that for me?” He looks at Sean, eyes wide. “But you already gave me so much!”

 

“That’s something else,” Sean chuckles. “You will need it to survive outside. Besides-” he states casually. “It means I can call you. And you could call me.”

 

Nick nods. “Right,” he smiles happily while he looks through the features of his phone. “So,” he blushes. “Can I have your number, Sean?”

 

Sean wonders if Nick actually knows how adorable and endearing he sometimes is. He loves how Nick is so… genuine. He has never met someone like him before. So honest and open, he is an interesting man, and will also be an interesting Grimm. “Of course,” Sean tries not to embarrass himself by smiling like an idiot.

 

“Great,” Nick chuckles happily. “You are my first contact!”

 

“I hope this means you will write me a message occasionally,” Sean teases.

 

“Would that really be okay?” Nick asks hopefully. “To write you just like that, without an emergency? You wouldn’t feel annoyed?”

 

“Actually I might even expect you to give me an hourly update,” Sean teases.

 

Nick’s lips tug into a grin, making Sean wonder when he has actually learned to read his sarcasm. “Like, hello Sean, 9-10 PM, I’m wearing light-blue jeans and a black sweatshirt. Killed a spider in the bathroom.”

 

Nick’s careful attempt of teasing makes Sean even more amused. “You forgot to mention the color of your underwear.”

 

Nick laughs slightly.

 

With Nick being so open and joyful it’s probably the perfect mood to discuss a few things, Sean decides. But breakfast first.

 

Sean has prepared coffee for himself and tea for Nick. He seemed to be quite interested to try that black tea with vanilla taste Sean got from his mother once. Nick sets the breakfast table meanwhile, but Sean can see that Nick is nervous this time, more nervous than usual. He knows all of this is new for Nick, and he needs to adapt to a completely new situation – even if the organization didn’t treat him well, at least he knew his way around there and he knew which rules to follow.

 

It pushes Sean to not delay the promise he gave Nick last night and discuss some of these important things with Nick, after all all of this might be laying on Nick’s mind so heavily and prevents him from sleeping properly.

 

After breakfast they move to Sean’s study for it. Sean wants to take notes and write down what Nick tells him. It seems to surprise Nick a bit how seriously he takes it, which in return surprises Sean. Did no one prepare Nick for such a talk?

 

There is a small sofa in his office too, Sean sits down on it, while Nick takes the rather big sofa chair. “Are we ready?” Sean asks, going for a light tone.

 

Nick nods. “More than ready actually.”

 

Sean chuckles quietly. “Listen Nicholas,” he finally begins carefully “I want you to ask all the questions you have. Don’t be afraid to interrupt me. Just ask whatever lies on your chest. Is that alright?”

 

Nick nods vigorously.

 

“I know…” Sean tilts his head, trying to choose his words wisely. He doesn’t want to unsettle Nick or trigger him. “I know, what kind of Doms you grew up with, Nicholas. Or let’s rather say, I have a feeling. But I’m not one of those… traditionalists,” he states carefully, well aware that Nick might not fully believe him yet. “I told you already, didn’t I? But I can understand why you can’t quite believe it yet.”

 

“I have no reason not to trust your word,” Nick answers promptly, like something he learned by heart before.

 

“Right,” Sean raises his eyebrows. It doesn’t sound too genuine, but he decides not to push Nick further, instead he simply continues. “You are still your own person, you make your own decisions. This doesn’t change just because you are a Sub and married to me.”

 

“How do you...” Nick licks his lips nervously. “Punish?”

 

“Why am I not surprised that this is your first question,” Sean mutters, slightly amused.

 

“But I don’t know what else...” Nick’s voice drifts off. It makes Sean realize instantly that Nick is probably very insecure about all of this, and absolutely not prepared. And he probably got punished for even small things. Sean decides to quit all the teasing for now.

 

“You don’t know what questions to ask?” Sean looks at Nick thoughtfully.

 

Nick shrugs helplessly. “I am not sure… what’s important.”

 

Sean nods tentatively. “Do you want me to ask you instead?” he offers, deciding to change their approach to this talk.

 

It seems to be the right thing to offer, because Nick smiles relieved. “Yes please.”

 

“Well,” he decides to go for the most important first. “Then tell me Nicholas, what are your limits?”

 

“My limits?” Nick blinks.

 

Sean frowns in slight confusion. It can’t be the first time Nick heard that word in this context, can it? “Limits are, you could say, prohibited activities… in bed, during sessions. It’s about what you like or want, what you can tolerate, and what you absolutely hate. When I take you down, is there something which will be absolutely unbearable for you? Do you have trigger words or phrases? Words that make you panic instantly?”

 

Nick stares at him, eyes wide in worry all of a sudden.

 

The unsettling feeling Sean had grows even more. “Nicholas?”

 

“I’m so sorry, Sir,” Nick says, and his voice is shaky, yet surprisingly serious. “I don’t know.”

 

Sean decides to ignore that he didn’t use his name, again. He has a feeling it’s because Nick feels too uncertain at the moment. Sean himself is actually pretty horrified too. “Is this the first time you hear about this? Did they never tell you anything at all?”

 

“Maybe I don’t have any limits?” Nick points out.

 

“Don’t ever say that again,” Sean answers sharply. “Never, Nicholas. Promise me!”

 

Nick grows a bit pale. “I...I’m sorry.”

 

“I don’t mean to admonish you,” Sean tells him insistently. “It’s just… if you say, you have no limits it can be dangerous for you. If a Dom takes your word for it, he can deal major damage to you.” He pauses. “It’s… your word is important, dear. If you say you like something or you don’t, your word is all I have to believe you. I have to trust you, just like you trust me.”

 

Nick looks at him in surprise for a moment. “It goes both ways?” he asks carefully.

 

“Yes, of course it does.” Sean pauses, looking at Nick thoughtfully. “Do you want me to tell you one of my limits? Something I will never do even if you ask me for it?”

 

“Yes,” Nick looks at him in interest. “Please!”

 

“I don’t mind temperature play as long as it’s with something cold like ice cubes. But I don’t deal with fire or wax.”

 

“I see,” Nick frowns. In his eyes Sean can see how the realization dawns on him. “I think strangling would be a no go for me… I have a childhood memory when I almost suffocated. But for the rest… I… What am I supposed to do?” he asks, looking at Sean helplessly.

 

“We can only find out patiently,” Sean tells him softly. “When I help you to get down, we will try different things and gradually learn what you like.” He needs to be extra cautious, he realizes. “How about you first think about a safeword?” he offers. It’s more important than ever that he knows Nick’s safeword, since they have to experiment a ton lot. “I assume you don’t have one yet?”

 

Nick shakes his head.

 

“You know what a safeword is?” Sean asks carefully.

 

“Yes, I do,” Nick nods firmly.

 

Thank God, Sean thinks in relief. “Can you think of one until tomorrow?”

 

Again, a nod. Nick licks his lips nervously. “Are you telling me now how you punish your Sub?”

 

“Alright,” Sean nods, tapping his fingertips against each other. “The thing is, I’m not your father and you are not my son.”

 

Nick nods tentatively. “Yes,” he mutters, he doesn’t look like it, but he is on guard. His eyes, his body language, everything is very tensed.

 

“I don’t believe in punishments such as grounding you or forbidding you to see your friends, dictate your entire life. I’m not going to to do any of that, because you are still your own person, but if you happen to be sick or tired to the bone I will make sure you stay at home and rest.”

 

Nick nods carefully. He still seems to feel wary about what Sean is telling him, but at least he relaxes his fingers a bit. “But as my Dom you will find it necessary sometimes to punish me.”

 

Sean takes his time to answer, his gaze on Nick’s face first before it wanders down his tensed fingers. He wants to take his hand to make him relax, to soothe the tension, but at the same time he doesn’t want to cross a certain line right now. Holding Nick’s hand wouldn’t be a problem normally, but he doesn’t want to inflict skin contact now when this is such an important topic for Nick, one that makes him anxious. “In this case I might be a bit old-fashioned,” Sean admits, before he pauses shortly “I’m not even too fond of spanking my Sub for every tiny breach of rule. I will only do it if I have to.”

 

Nick looks at him insistently. There is curiosity in his gaze. “Do you use implements?”

 

“Sometimes. Depends on the action set beforehand. If it calls for more drastic measurements, I will apply to it”

 

Nick tilts his head a bit and nods.

 

“You are not saying anything against it?” Sean prompts him, wanting to hear Nick’s opinion in this. It’s crucial for him to know, especially as a Dom.

 

“You are experienced,” Nick finally says. “I… am not, sexually.” He blushes slightly before his gaze gets surprisingly steady. “But I am not bodily weak. I...it’s weird isn’t it?”

 

Sean smiles slightly. “That’s the Grimm in you. You are more resistant than others.”

 

“Sometimes when I get spanked with the hand only, it doesn't always… it’s not always hard enough for me,” Nick admits. “If it’s too light, I… I don’t know how to explain it, but it won’t help me in anyway then. But... I’m also not entirely sure how much I can really take, but I know it’s more than the general person.

 

His honesty surprises Sean, also the knowledge he does seem to have of his own body and strength. It’s not only surprising but also relieving. “We will test your boundaries, Nicholas, don’t worry.” He smiles slightly. “Don’t get into major troubles, and maybe we will never need it.”

 

Nick chuckles slightly. “Is there a chance for that to ever happen?”

 

Sean’s lips tug into a smirk. “It’s up to you, I would say.”

 

To his utmost amusement Nick sighs dramatically. “Because it’s that simple.”

 

The atmosphere is a lot lighter all of a sudden. Nick relaxes his fingers a bit, his body less tensed. He looks at Sean for a while, his fingers twitching a bit. Sean understands immediately, it’s pretty much the sign he was waiting for. He reaches out his hand and Nick takes it happily.

 

“Rules?” Sean offers him.

 

Nick nods. “Do I need to write them down?” he asks carefully.

 

“There are only three,” Sean chuckles. “I’m confident you can remember. They are not really complicated. Actually you already know one. I told you yesterday night.”

 

Nick blinks, before the realization dawns on him.

 

“Do you remember?” Sean asks.

 

A nod.

 

“Tell me,” Sean prompts.

 

“You don’t want me to lie to you.”

 

Sean nods. “How about you elaborate?”

 

“You don’t want me to lie, this goes for the obvious reasons such as Grimm stuff, but also when I’m not feeling well. I… I am not supposed to hide when I feel unwell..”

 

“Very well, Nicholas” Sean smiles. His praise makes Nick’s cheek flush. He needs to remember that, Sean thinks, praise seems to do miracles on Nick. “The next rule. I don’t keep tabs on you. You will soon have your own life too, maybe make friends, work if you want to, and you don’t need to share every detail with me. It’s just normal that there are things you would rather like to share with friends than with your partner, and I respect your privacy. But I expect you to tell me when you are late or when you head out to do something dangerous. Inform me. You are a Grimm. Tell me when you go on a mission, be reachable if you can. That’s what you have your phone for.” Nick chews on his lip in highest concentration. Sean sighs slightly, reaching out his hand and touching his lips. “Don’t do that or you might draw blood.”

 

“Oh,” Nick blushes. “I didn’t notice.”

 

Sean moves his thumb over Nick’s lips once more before reluctantly pulling his hand away. “The next rule,” Sean continues. “Look after yourself. With this I mean, you don’t stay up all night to work or read, you don’t overwork yourself into exhaustion. Reckless behavior or getting yourself into unnecessary danger falls into this. Tell me when you feel tired. Ideally you will also learn to tell me when you are about to drop. This is going to be a bit more difficult for us, because you don’t quite know it yet, am I right?”

 

Nick nods.

 

“Don’t stress about it,” Sean says softly. “We can work on this. Focus on treating yourself kindly and telling me the truth instead. I will never punish you for something you simply couldn’t control.”

 

Nick stares at the spot right next to Sean’s head for a while, seemingly in deep thoughts. “Talk to me,” Sean urges.

 

“This rule… it might be...” Nick licks his lips nervously. “Difficult for me.”

 

“I know,” Sean answers earnestly. “But it’s important and I’m not letting go of that one.”

 

Nick nods.

 

“Lastly… it’s not a rule per se, but it’s still particularly important because you don’t know your limits yet. Communicate with me. You need to tell me what you like or despise, the moment you know it. This is crucial for your mental health, and also for mine.”

 

Nick takes a deep breath. “Can I repeat?”

 

Sean has to smile slightly at that cute question. “Of course, go ahead.”

 

“No lying, telling you when I’m about to do something, not being reckless and treating myself...well, communicate.” Nick holds his breath.

 

“Good,” Sean chuckles. “Considering you just went for the short form, you summarized it well.”

 

Nick looks down on his fingers. “And if I don’t … follow?”

 

“As I said, punishment depends on which rule you break and how you break it, and also the outcome of it. But I won’t punish you like an immature child. You are an adult Nicholas, and my partner, not my possession. If I tell you to do something and you won’t, and I tell you again, and you still don’t follow, if I decide to punish you and you run from it, I won’t force you into submission. I hate Doms who do that.”

 

Nick looks up in surprise. “You mean to say...”

 

“I like things to be consensual.” Sean looks at him insistently. “I won’t use our relationship or my status as a Dom to force you into agreeing to get punished, when you aren’t ready, when you can’t commit. I don’t punish when I’m angry either. I normally wait a few hours before I do it – it’s… you could say, it’s a rule for myself. And lastly I don’t punish just because you want me to. I decide on punishment, and if I decide it’s not necessary then that’s it.” He has a feeling Nick will take every tiny breach of a rule as a reason to get punished harshly.

 

“I see,” Nick tilts his head, eyes scanning Sean curiously. “You are not going to mess around when you spank me,” he mutters.

 

“Excuse me?” Sean grins.

 

Nick blushes furiously. “I… did I say that loud?”

 

“Yes you did,” Sean chuckles in highest amusement. “But don’t worry too much.”

 

“I am right, aren’t I?” Nick asks, careful curiosity in his voice.

 

“I don’t believe a few light swats with my palm are punishment,” Sean tells him, tilting his head slightly.

 

Nick almost looks triumphant. “I knew it.” His gazes seems to shift towards Sean's hands, resting there for a moment. Sean wonders what he is thinking now, or imagining. Does he wonder how Sean’s hands might feel on his skin? Probably. A smirk starts tugging around the corner of Sean’s lips, but he decides not to tease Nick.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean looks at him, his green eyes suddenly warm. “There is something else. Not a rule, not something you have to do, but I hope you will.”

 

“And what’s that?” Nick asks curiously.

 

“If you ever want me to do something, if you need me, I would like if you told me. I’m your Dom and I want you to be able to tell me in case you need me.” He pauses. “I told you I will not punish you just because you feel you deserve it. But in case you are about to drop or you feel anxious, and want me to handle it in a certain way, it’s a completely different issue. Don’t be embarrassed to ask me for something...whatever it is.”

 

“I will try,” Nick says quietly.

 

“How often and how fast do you drop?” Sean asks softly.

 

Nick looks down at their entwined fingers. “I don’t know.”

 

Figured. “How often do you need to go down? Do you always need help to be taken down? I don’t mean to embarrass you by asking this, but it’s for your own safety.”

 

“I don’t know,” Nick looks at Sean helplessly. “Sometimes when I’m too stressed, it just happens. I always realized only afterwards that I dropped. But I don’t understand it yet. I think once I begin to drop, I do drop pretty fast. I’m sorry.” he looks embarrassed. “I should know better.”

 

Sean squeezes Nick’s hand. For a moment the tension seems to bleed out of Nick’s body again, he looks up and then, to Sean’s utmost surprise, he stands up and steps closer. Sean keeps his hand in his when Nick sits down next to him, his free hand brushes through Nick’s hair. “Did you ever have someone take you down?”

 

Nick shakes his head. “No, not another person, not a Dom. No,” he pauses. “I… sometimes we got meds and they would send a professional for us, but it’s just been the absolute minimum they did. I think. I have no comparison.”

 

“Ideally,” Sean explains carefully. “You will tell me when you are stressed. You will learn to tell normal stress apart from the kind of stress that sends you down. With time.” He smiles slightly. “No need to pressure yourself. It will come with your growing experience. Just always remember that taking you down is not a bother to me. It helps Doms too, you know?”

 

“It does?” Nick looks at him curiously.

 

“Yes, it’s not only your minds which gets affected by it, ours does too. And we can relax better and sleep better too.”

 

Sean feels and knows there is a lot more to say and discuss, but he also knows that Nick probably reached his limit of what he can take and accept at once. They set the base, from now on they will need to learn step by step.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“I need to get some things from the authorities. There is a bit of paperwork to finish now that we live together. I will handle all of this today.” Sean takes his jacket. “On the way back I will fetch us something to eat.”

 

“I can accompany you,” Nick offers.

 

“No, I want you to stay here and take a rest,” Sean’s eyes glide over Nick’s face. His eyes still look red, he can barely keep them open.

 

“I am not tired,” Nick mutters.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean interrupts him before he can continue, noting how Nick shifts under his scrutinizing look. “Rules.”

 

Nick tears his gaze away and bites down on his lips. “Yes, Sir,” he mutters, a hint of stubborn defiance in his tone.

 

This is going to be interesting in the future, Sean notes, when he heads out. Nick is probably not always going to be so compliant like he is now. Sometimes it seems he wants to argue and object to Sean, but he is not quite… there yet.

 

Sean chuckles slightly. He wonders how Nick will be in a few months when he is going to be more confident in his own skin, and around Sean. He is in for a wild ride. Not that he minds. Sean has never scared away from a good challenge. He likes a partner who challenges him.

 

He finishes his business at the post office and bank as fast as possible. He hates bureaucracy and paperwork, but it’s inevitable now that he is married. He registered Nick too, opened his own bank account for him and set a meeting with the insurance company. He sighs when he looks at his watch. Almost two hours. Took him longer than expected.

 

On his way back he stops at his favorite Chinese restaurants and takes an assortment of food for them along. Nick is going to be hungry, and knowing him he probably didn’t dare to take something from the fridge. He completely forgot to tell Nick he should eat something in case it would take him longer. A beginner’s mistake, Sean figures, he should have known. He shakes his head, there are a lot of things he needs to consider now. Weirdly enough it doesn’t really annoy him. He isn’t sure if it’s because he genuinely likes Nick or because it’s his drive as a Dom to care for his Sub. It’s probably a mix out of both, he figures. The latter is nothing new to him, but the first one is harder to accept. He has never _liked_ someone. Not the way he likes Nick.

 

Sean’s complicated thoughts come to a sudden halt when he gets out of his car and is about to open the front door to their apartment. His senses are awake immediately. There is a certain scent in the air… danger. Over the years Sean has developed a sixth sense for these situations, he has been on the receiving end of backstabbing attacks too often. This time though there is more lying in the air besides danger and intruders.

 

He smells his Sub’s distress.

 

The Zauberbiest in Sean growls and pushes the door open.

 

He comes right in time to encounter how a Hundjäger is about to push himself on Nick. He has Nick’s hands pinned to the wall, another hand around his throat. Then however something seems to shift in Nick’s expression, there is sudden anger, and a strength Sean is sure Nick doesn’t even know he possess. “Fuck off!” Nick hisses, tugging his hand free with one movement and smashing his elbow against the Hundjäger’s chest, followed by a kick against his stomach. The guy flies through the room and hits against the wall.

 

Nick is panting slightly, his eyes shifting around until they finally meet Sean’s. Sean can see the shift in his expression. He looks insecure all of a sudden… and scared, like he is afraid Sean would be mad at him now. It pains Sean to think that Nick believes he wants him to hold still whenever a visitor from his family wants to force themselves on him.

 

It’s just been a few seconds in which all of this happened, but it gave Sean the time to consider his next moves so that they will have the best possible effect on everyone in the room.

 

The Hundjäger scrambles to his feet. “You should tell your dirty little Sub to behave,” he hisses. “The royal family owns him and they deserve to receive his services!”

 

Sean wants to strangle the piece of trash immediately, but holds back for now, because Nick comes first. His face is hard when he stares at the Hundjäger, before he approaches Nick. He can see tears swimming in Nick’s eyes.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean tries to sounds as even as possible. “It’s such a relief to see you can defend yourself and our home.” Nick stares at him in surprise, and in any other situation it would be amusing, but now Sean needs to set a point. “Don’t listen to that sorry excuse of a person. If any other person, no matter if Dom, Sub, or Switch ever tries to attack you or force themselves on you, you are officially allowed to defend yourself. No matter if they tell you otherwise.” He puts a hand on Nick’s shoulder while he turns to face their intruder. Nick’s eyes are wide. There is slight fear in them because he was just attacked a minute ago, but also relief that Sean stood by his side and didn’t let him down. Sean’s lips tug into an evil smile. “If it happens to be someone my family sent, a family member itself or another Wesen, don’t hold back. You can let your inner Grimm out as much as you want.”

 

“Sean...” Nick mutters, relief all too evident in his eyes.

 

Sean bends forward a bit, so that only Nick can hear him. “I’m so proud of you,” he says quietly. “You are so strong.”

 

Nick’s lips tug slightly. “What about him?” he mutters.

 

Sean furrows his eyebrows. He can finally deal with the idiot who dared to lay hand on his Sub. Oh, sweet revenge. He is going to have as much fun with this as possible. No one touches Nick! “Would you...” He turns towards Nick once more, the look in his eyes as soft as possible. He figures Nick has seen enough for today. “...leave us alone for a while, dear? I would like to accompany our guest to the door.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick has never seen such a soft look in Sean’s eyes. He looked at him like he is precious. And the fact that Sean called him _dear_ , makes Nick speechless. Literally. He nods, flabbergasted, leaving the room. One part of him is glad to be able to just go and not see that asshole anymore, the other part of him wished he could have beheaded him.

 

He closes the door, leaning against the wall right next to it. His heart is pounding, his ears hurt. Far away he can swear he hears someone groan and… like something is thrown against a door, but he isn’t sure. His head hurts.

 

“…las.”

 

“....olas”

 

A hand dabs his cheek softly. “Nick!”

 

Nick’s eyes snap open, looking directly into Sean’s. “I made everything more complicated. I’m so sorry,” he blurts out.

 

“What for?” Sean says softly. “You were awesome, Nicholas,” he pulls him into his arms. “You were so brave.”

 

“But now you have to go through troubles with your family.”

 

Sean shakes his head. “I’m not on good terms with my family,” he explains. “Did you forget I’m just a bastard to them?”

 

Nick blinks. “But… they were there for our wedding.”

 

“Just to keep the pretense up,” Sean pulls Nick into a comforting hug. “The only real family I have is my mother. Now they want to have me closer, because they deem me useful, not that I even remotely care. We were both on the hide for years when I was a child. Now my family got extended by you. Yours and her safety comes first to me, everyone else may rot in hell.”

 

Nick looks up at Sean in surprise. He thought Sean’s life would be more comfortable, but it seems he suffered too. It’s not like Nick feels happy about this knowledge, he doesn’t wish anyone to suffer, but he suddenly feels so much closer to Sean.

 

Sean called him Nick before, he realizes while snuggling into his arms.

 

Sean cups his cheek gently, his thumb brushing over a bruise that’s starting to bloom under his left eye. Sean’s eyes are suddenly glinting in anger. “He hit you?”

 

“I hit him harder,” Nick frowns angrily.

 

It makes Sean smile slightly. “You did. Quite a good performance you showed in there.”

 

“I didn’t know I was even able to do that,” Nick admits.

 

“Grimm instincts,” Sean explains.

 

“What kind of Wesen was that?” Nick asks, curiosity finally winning over now that the initial shock wore off.

 

“A Hundjäger,” Sean explains. “I’m sure you will find plenty about them in your books. They are working for the royal family. Well, for mine obviously,” he adds bitterly.

 

“We can’t choose our family,” Nick says softly. He isn’t sure why he said it, but something about Sean’s tone hit him. He sounded irritated, but also a bit sad. For a second he is scared that he overstepped a certain boundary, but Sean’s lips tug into a small smile.

 

“Indeed.” Sean agrees. “Good thing I have you now, huh?”

 

“But you didn’t quite choose me either,” Nick stutters, blushing slightly at his own words.

 

“Well, I consider myself lucky,” Sean smirks. “To imagine who else I could have ended up with, you are definitely the lesser evil.”

 

Nick chuckles slightly, leaning his forehead against Sean’s shoulder. He notes himself how his hands are still shivering. “I...” he pauses. “Sir… I’m not sure...”

 

Sean’s fingers brush through his hair softly. “Are you dropping?” he asks.

 

“I’m not sure,” Nick mutters.

 

“Why don’t you wear your collar for me?” Sean offers. His voice is low and soothing. Nick nods his consent, his head feeling dizzy. Later he isn’t quite sure how he even got his collar and if he put it on himself. When he comes back to his senses he is kneeling next to Sean. The latter is sitting at the table in the living room, going through a few papers.

 

“Sean...” Nick forces his eyelids to open.

 

Sean smiles, helping him up to sit on the chair. “You are back with me.”

 

“How long was I gone?” Nick asks. “Was I down?”

 

“Not even twenty minutes, Nicholas,” Sean explains patiently. “And you only dropped a bit.” He pauses. “Nicholas, the next time you are about to drop I want to take you down properly. You have been at the edge of a drop a few times now. But I don’t want to do it without your consent. It’s not sexual, but it is more intimate, and I need to know if you commit.”

 

Nick nods tentatively. He has no idea what Sean has in mind. Quite frankly, no one has ever taken him down, but he has the feeling that Sean is right. He has almost dropped a few times now, he figures the next time it happens, it’s going to be worse.

 

He could ask Sean to retrieve some medication for him which will help with the drop, but now that he has a Dom caring for him, there is this undeniable wish in him to have his Dom do it. Not some weird meds. “The next time,” he licks his lips nervously. “I want you to take me down, Sir.”

 

Sean touches his cheek softly. “Thank you for your trust,” he says softly.

 

Nick blushes slightly, but nods.

 

“Feeling hungry?” Sean asks.

 

Nick tilts his head, suddenly realizing how empty his stomach actually feels. He chuckles. “I didn’t even notice.”

 

“Why am I not surprised?” Sean teases. “I brought something home for us. It’s in the oven. I’m going to warm it up for us.”

 

Nick nods watching how Sean gets up and leaves for the kitchen. He himself heads to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. He puts the collar back at its place in his bedside drawer before he joins Sean again. He has brought some Chinese food which Nick didn’t taste before. His mood improves instantly by all the food he gets to try. Apparently he is simple-minded and easy to please like that, but Sean doesn’t seem to mind at all. In fact he even smiles and teases him light-heartedly, which Nick figured by now is a sign that he likes what he is seeing.

 

“So, after you claimed not to like Green Tea.” One of Sean’s eyebrows pops up. “And I am holding back any comments about your non-defined taste-buds now, I assume you would prefer coffee?”

 

Nick takes the bait immediately. “Green Tea smells weird...” he defends himself.

 

An amused chuckle is the answer. “You were supposed to drink it, not to smell it.”

 

“I thought scent and taste work together,” Nick muses. When Sean throws him a curious glance, he blushes slightly. “I read it in one of your books.”

 

Sean smiles. “So, you are catching up on more than just Wesen-stuff.”

 

Nick looks down on his fingers. “You are so knowledged about everything and educated, and I am not...” he pauses and looks up just to see how Sean’s expression went from teasing to serious again. “I want to be able to keep up with you.”

 

To his relief Sean doesn’t laugh. He also doesn’t belittle him. And… as another surprise he doesn’t tell him not to stress himself and that not knowing anything is okay. Instead he praises Nick’s efforts, much to his delight. “It’s a commendable thought, Nicholas,” he says with a smile. “Education is always important. You can read and study whatever you like to.”

 

Nick’s heart skips a beat. He didn’t expect it. He didn’t expect Sean to actually understand why this is important to him.

 

“You didn’t answer my initial question though,” Sean pulls him out of his thoughts.

 

“I would happily drink some coffee with you,” Nick agrees, while he helps Sean clean up their table and wash the dishes.

 

“I would like you to take some rest afterwards, you look quite tired,” Sean tells him when they are finished and are both holding a cup with coffee in their hands. Sean drinks his black with a bit of sugar. Nick has his cup filled with half milk, half coffee.

 

For an instant Nick thinks about defying him, just because he wants to continue talking to him, but he is still feeling a bit dizzy from almost dropping, and he takes a wild guess it’s also the reason why Sean wants him to lie down.

 

“You can take the sofa,” Sean pushes him a little.

 

“Will you stay?” Nick asks spontaneously, before it dawns on him what his question implies. He hurries to make sure he didn’t mean to pressure Sean. Oh my god. “I mean… I didn’t mean to say you are supposed stay or anything. I just… conversation, you know?”

 

Sean doesn’t seem to be upset. “I will stay. Wanted to read a bit,” he explains calmly. “It’s been a while since I had time for that.”

 

Nick nods contently, trying not to show his relief too much. Somehow he sleeps better when Sean is around.

 

 

~~~

 

 

He doesn’t know how long he slept, but he wakes up to a female voice.

 

“He is so adorable,” the person the voice belongs to sighs slightly. “Look at how he scrunches his nose.”

 

“He is not a puppy, mother,” Sean’s voice can be heard.

 

Mother? Like… Sean’s mother!? Oh dear. Nick basically jumps to his feet, horrified to be so impolite and sleep when his mother-in-law comes to visit. In his semi-sleep haze he doesn’t quite realize that her visit had to be a spontaneous one or Sean would have told him.

 

“I’m so sorry, Mam,” Nick blurts out. “I… I didn’t notice...and I...” His voice trembles, he has difficulties thinking straight.

 

Elizabeth exchanges a glance with her son, and then takes his hand. “I’m really happy to finally meet you.”

 

“I am happy too,” Nick answers politely.

 

“There was not enough time during the wedding,” she smiles slightly. It’s then that it strikes Nick how young she looks. “What is it, dear?” she asks with a smirk. “You look slightly surprised.”

 

“I was just wondering,” Nick tilts his head. He will later blame it on his sleep-deprived mind that he even asked her about it. It’s too bold, too bold, Nick. “But do Hexenbiests not age? I mean, you look so young!”

 

Sean snorts, while his mother chuckles. “Well, look at that charming boy,” she comments.

 

“He is obviously still dreaming,” Sean points out dryly.

 

Apparently his bold question didn’t unsettle or upset any of them. On the contrary they even seem to be amused.

 

Sean’s mother laughs slightly. “Come, Nicholas, why don’t you tell me what you plan on doing tomorrow. Sean can prepare some drinks for us.”

 

“What am I?” Sean raises his eyebrows. “Your servant?”

 

Elizabeth chuckles. “He always does that. So serious.”

 

Sean doesn’t answer, and instead just hands her a glass with wine. She nods with a smile and goes ahead to the living room. Despite all the banter it’s obvious that she means a lot to him, Nick thinks. Nick himself doesn’t follow her instantly, and instead waits for Sean to take the lead. Besides he doesn’t have anything to drink yet.

 

“Definitely no wine for you, Nicholas. You are not feeling well enough. I will prepare something else for you,” Sean tells him before he can even ask.

 

Nick pouts slightly.

 

“Ah, what’s this?” Sean smirks and pokes his cheeks slightly. “If you give me such a look I’m almost inclined to treat you like a little kid.” He grins. “Maybe I should send you to your room~”

 

Nick tries to move away from Sean’s teasing fingers, but he faces no chance, suppressing a squeal when Sean squeezes his cheek. He chuckles slightly when Sean finally lets him go and rubs over the spot.

 

 

 

Elizabeth is an interesting woman, Nick figures, and very much alike her son. They seem to get along well. Nick almost expects to feel a bout of jealousy or envy, because he was never able to share this with his own mother, but instead he feels happy for Sean, and also happy for himself, because she is part of the family.

 

When Sean leaves for a moment to take a call, she looks at Nick. “Nicholas, I’m curious. Sean didn’t show you his Wesen-side, did he?”

 

“No,” Nick sighs dramatically. “I asked him to, but he thinks it’s going to scare me away. And he said he wants us to get to know each other well first, before we introduce my Grimm to his Zauberbiest.”

 

Elizabeth smiles slightly. “Very considerate actually.”

 

Nick frowns. It’s not quite the answer he expected. He also doesn’t want to pry. He has seen pictures of Biests, and he knows how they look like, and that they are scary, but he wishes Sean would trust him enough to show him.

 

“Do you want to see how I look like?” Elizabeth offers.

 

Nick’s eyes widen. “You would do that?”

 

“Yes, I can see why Sean wouldn’t reveal it to you yet. But if you think you are strong enough and won’t scare away...”

 

“I won’t,” Nick says firmly.

 

“Fine,” she smiles. “Ready?”

 

“As ready as one can be,” Nick mutters, eyes pinned to her face. When she woges, he winces involuntarily, because damn, she looks scary… and honestly, not really pretty. But he regathers his composure fast, and curiosity wins over.

 

“So, how do I look like?” she asks, and even her voice sounds different now.

 

Nick tilts his head. “Well,” he grins. “Different, I would say.”

 

“More like my age now?” she teases.

 

Nick laughs slightly all of a sudden, and she turns back into her human form.

 

“Scary?” she wants to know.

 

“A bit,” Nick admits. “I have seen pictures, but to see a Wesen for real is still different.”

 

“You will get used to it,” she tilts her head. “A lot faster than you think you will. You are a Grimm after all.”

 

“I am still not sure what that really means,” Nick sighs. “I mean, of course I know what a Grimm is, but… for me, you know?”

 

“Hm,” she hums. “It’s not bad not to know who you are yet. The fact that you are questioning yourself shows how serious you are and how eager to learn and evolve. Other Grimms would just set out and kill any Wesen they see, but you are already different. And I don’t see that as a disadvantage for you.”

 

“Wesen don’t like me, do they?”

 

“Well, I just told you about the killing part,” she shrugs. “Wesen are scared of Grimms. And the first time they see you they will either fight you or run from you.”

 

“They can identify me as a Grimm?” Nick asks in surprise.

 

“Yes. When we woge and you recognize us, we see it in your eyes.”

 

He tilts his head, looking at her for a while. “You wanted to see me too, didn’t you? That’s also why you offered to show me who you truly are.”

 

She raises her eyebrows. “You are clearly not an idiot.”

 

Nick eyes her curiously. “But why?”

 

“To see how you would react as a Grimm,” she explains. “I love Sean, he is my only child.”

 

“And, did I disappoint you?” Nick asks nervously.

 

She smiles slightly. “On the contrary, you exceeded my expectations.” She winks teasingly. “And since I am already on it. Sean is only half Zauberbiest, so he still keeps some of his human features when he woges.”

 

Nick blushes slightly. “I would love to see it.”

 

“Well, you just have two options to see him woge. Be patient. Or get yourself into danger so that he needs to get you out of it again with his strength.” She raises his eyebrows. “The downside of it is that he would be rightfully angry at you for doing it.”

 

Nick furrows his eyebrows, remembering the rules they talked about. He figures if he gets himself into danger just to see Sean woge he would probably be unable to sit down for days. No thank you. He shakes his head. “I think I will give him some more time.”

 

Elizabeth smiles warmly. “A wise decision.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

“Your mother woged for me,” Nick explains. He is sitting on the huge sofa, right next to Sean. They want to watch a movie together.

 

Sean sighs. “Why am I not surprised.”

 

“She wanted to test me,” Nick grins.

 

Again a sigh escapes Sean’s lips. “And again I’m not surprised.”

 

“I didn’t mind it,” Nick smiles proudly. “It wasn’t even scary.”

 

It’s the third time Sean sighs. “And once more, I am not surprised. Your defense mechanism doesn’t seem to work well. You have the impertinent drive to get yourself into danger, it seems.”

 

“I’ve once heard it’s one of my charms,” Nick points out in a weak attempt to save his dignity.

 

“Oh,” Sean’s lips tug into a smirk. “Is that so? Your inability to stay safe is charming?”

 

“The same person said I should go for a damsel of distress persona in case of emergencies, so it won’t come off like I’m just clumsy or too eager to head into action.”

 

Sean is clearly amused, much to Nick’s delight. He figures it’s not easy to amuse him. Since they are already on it, he can push it a little further. “Since we talked about limits recently. I’ve come up with something. I think,” Nick hears himself say. “I won’t wear lace.”

 

Sean, about to move his cup to his lips, halts midway, staring at Nick for a moment.

 

Shit, he did it. He ruined the mood… He made a stupid joke. Sean won’t find it funny. Why did he even say it? Damn it, why can’t he stop being himself!? Sean is going to return him at one point, like a broken object and then-

 

Sean puts his cup down, and chuckles. “No lace?” he says. “Pity, I thought you came with a whole collection of white lace underwear.”

 

“No,” Nick retorts, his previous fears gone as fast as they came. I don’t like white. Washes out too fast. If anything I would wear black.” A pause. “Or yellow.”

 

Sean snorts, his normally so stoic expression suddenly turning into one of fond amusement. “Yellow?”

 

“I love colors,” Nick says. “In fact I think the living room could do with a bit of color. Orange maybe. Oh! Pink. And your wardrobe…did you think about wearing neon green? It’s a beautiful color and goes with your eyes and-” He squeals when he feels Sean’s finger poking his sides. “I’m ticklish,” he breaths out.

 

“Oh, is that so?” Sean raises his eyebrows. Then he is suddenly hovering above Nick, his devilish fingers back to tickling Nick. “Did no one ever teach you not to give away your weaknesses?” he smirks. “I guess someone needs to be taught a serious lesson.”

 

Nick pants and laughs while Sean’s hands keep teasing him. “Lesson learned,” he giggles. “Please, Sir, I will behave.”

 

He blinks his eyes open, looking directly into Sean’s light green eyes. To his surprise he sees a warmth in them he is sure he hasn’t seen before. His heart skips a beat. He reaches out his hand, noting how Sean stills, like he waits and wants to see what Nick is about to do. Nick’s hand shivers slightly when he touches Sean’s cheek. He isn’t sure if he is allowed to do that, but it feels so right. He tries to feel Sean’s skin beneath his fingers, fingertips brushing over his lips and eyebrows.

He has stunning features, like a Greek god. He wonders if Sean actually sees something in him too.

 

“I...” he feels insecure all of a sudden, but before he can pull his hand away, Sean takes it and places a kiss against his palm.

 

A smile sneaks on Nick’s face. He is about to gather all his courage and kiss Sean, when the doorbell starts ringing.

 

Sean groans in frustration, and the fact that he does makes Nick illogically happy. It means Sean wanted to continue this too. Nick rolls over on his stomach, watching how Sean walks through the room to open the door. Seems like it’s the perfect day for visitors... He wonders who the heck would visit them so late at night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You.don't.even.want.to.know.how.often.I.re-wrote.part.of.this.chapter. XD  
> I'm not even kidding. I have actually almost finished the next chapter as well, but I always went back to this one and rewrote parts, re-read them, didn't like it etc. So, I decided that I need to post it now, because it's not getting any better and it's driving me nuts *lol*
> 
> I think the most difficult part here was writing Sean's D/s lifestyle rules and decisions, because it all falls and rises with him here (since Nick had no choice but to marry him anyway). I know the D/s concept is very broad with lots of possiblities also in real life. As for fics, I was never really into those stories in which the Dom is literally dominating every part of a Sub's life. I mean, I know this exists too, but I wanted to show that in a D/s "fantasy" the Sub can be an autonomous individual and still be a Sub. I've read stories in which the submissive partner gets forced into submission, and I find that thought terrifying, which is why Sean is definitely not going to do that. He will always wait for Nick to be ready to submit (which he will at one point, because that's what he needs and wants too).
> 
> So, please tell me what you think? I'm dying to know XD
> 
> Oh, btw if you believe that Nick being attacked by the Hundjänger, and Sean standing up for him, was a turning point in their relationship, you are absolutely right :D I think Nick's confidence will grow from now on. He is already showing his teasing side a bit, isn't he? :-)
> 
> Next chapter will have some "new" characters introduced. Can you guess who is going to appear? :D 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter!! As always your comments are loved and appreciated ♥


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick meets a new friend, faces his first training with Meisner and drops... faster than usual.

“Hello, I mean, Good evening, I mean, I’m honored, Sir, Prince… Sire,” the man pauses, shifting around in front of Sean. “I am sorry, I have never met a member of the royal family. Or… maybe I have but I don’t know. You are officially the first prince for me. That’s weird. Not that it’s a bad thing, you know? I just didn’t expect Basti to introduce me to a prince and a Grimm. It’s not like I doubt him, but a Grimm? Monroe was difficult to convince too. He is a Blutbader, but not a bad one. He is a bit like… like… I don’t know. You know what I mean, don’t you?”

 

Sean turns to look at Sebastien. “Basti?”

 

Sebastien blushes furiously. “Well...”

 

“And you are really… friends.”

 

Sebastien shrugs helplessly. “It’s a long story.”

 

Meanwhile the weird dude continues to blab. “Monroe, the Blutbader, my friend, you know? He is a good guy, really. He is waiting in my car. The weather wasn’t warm enough to come by foot. I’m a bit sensitive when it’s-”

 

“He is here!?” Sean asks sharply, turning towards Sebastien. “You brought him here!?”

 

Sebastien shifts around a bit. “Will you believe me when I say it was the least complicated of all possibilities?”

 

“Who is here?” It’s Nick. He has followed Sean to the door, it seems. Sean almost automatically puts an arm around his shoulder.

 

“This is Sebastien’s friend.” He pauses, realizing the man hasn’t even introduces himself. “What was your name again?”

 

“Bud,” the guy beams. With one thing Sebastien was definitely right, no one has ever screamed less danger to Sean than this man here. “I’m an Eisbieber.”

 

“Oh, nice to meet you.” Nick eyes him curiously. “I’m Nick. And… I’m a Grimm.”

 

Bud stares at him, eyes wide. He woges. Sean can tell he does, not because he woges visibly, but because he accidentally revealed himself to Nick. He can tell it by the way Nick suddenly looks at him, by the way his expression changes slightly, his eyes. Nick doesn’t do anything though. The look in his eyes is rather one of mere interest and wonder. It slowly dawns on Sean why his mother woged in front of Nick, and why she wanted to test him.

 

“You look… cute. Fluffy. Not dangerous,” Nick says with the curious excitement of a kid.

 

“Aha,” Bud laughs, something between hysterical and honest laughter. “He is funny.” He pauses. “Not that I want to belittle your husband, Sir… Sire… Prince. He is obviously one of a kind. And I mean it in the best way possible. Really nice friends you have there, Basti.”

 

Sebastien groans. “I would die for a Gin Tonic.”

 

Sean can’t help a grin spreading across his face. “Can’t we get the other guy up too? I think by now it really doesn’t matter anymore.”

 

He was right, because ten minutes later he drinks coffee with a Blutbader, Sebastien, his Eisbieber friend and Nick, a Grimm. Had someone told him half a year ago this would happen, he would have died laughing. And he never laughs.

 

“A member of the royal family tells me to look after his Sub, who also happens to be a Grimm. Every time you think it can’t get any weirder,” Monroe brings it to the point.

 

“You are telling _me?_ ” Sean mutters.

 

Nick stares at him intently, making Monroe squirm slightly.

 

“What are you looking at?” Monroe frowns in confusion.

 

“Waiting for you to woge,” Nick states much to Sean’s amusement. He loves how straight-forward and honest Nick is. He is probably the worst liar in the universe.

 

“Excuse me! Woging is a private thing!” Monroe huffs.

 

Bud throws him a glance. “It is? I didn’t even know, man. Up to now I thought it doesn’t matter if I woge or not, but-”

 

“Fine, I will do it,” Monroe sighs. “Just please, stop talking.” He looks at Nick for a moment. “Don’t get scared away, okay?”

 

“I won’t,” Nick mutters, eyes fixed on Monroe’s face.

 

When he woges Sean has to suppress each and every of his instincts to stand between him and his Sub. Blutbader. Dangerous. Attack. He takes a deep breath, and relaxes. Meanwhile Nick checks on Monroe in interest. “Interesting,” he muses.

 

“Is that all of you have to say!?” Monroe wants to know. “I am scary, you know!?”

 

“Well, Sean’s mother showed me her Hexenbiest, in terms of intimidation she won. You… you look a bit like a dog who met a werewolf,” Nick muses innocently. “Do your instincts actually resemble the Wesen you turn into?”

 

Sean and Sebastien exchange a glance. Sean can see how Sebastien can hardly hold back a grin. “Blutbader mark their territory,” he explains to Nick. “But if you throw a stick, they won’t catch it and bring it back to you.”

 

Nick chuckles slightly, while Monroe glares at that statement. Then however he turns back into his Human form, smiling slightly. “You are the weirdest Grimm I ever met.”

 

“Do you like jam?” Bud asks in between. “And honey? My wife bakes wonderful bread too, you know. You can have some. It tastes wonderful. Perfect mix out of tender texture and fine crispy crust. Oh and she can-”

 

“I don’t think you need to bribe Nicholas into not attacking your family,” Sebastien states calmly.

 

Nick frowns. “I would never go and attack innocent people,” he grumbles. “Let alone children and women!”

 

“I see.” Bud pauses. “So, do you like jam?”

 

Monroe laughs slightly. “This is going to be interesting,” he grins.

 

Nick returns his smile carefully, before he reaches out his hand. “Let’s meet properly,” he says politely. “I’m Nicholas. You can call me Nick.”

 

Monroe shakes his hand with an amused smile. “Monroe. You can call me Monroe.”

 

“Don’t you have a real name?” Nick wants to know.

 

“Monroe is a real name.”

 

“Really? Where?”

 

“His real name is Eddie,” Bud throws in between, earning himself Monroe’s glare, which surprisingly doesn’t intimidate him at all. “He hates his name.”

 

Nick nods. “So, Monroe it is...”

 

 

~~~

 

 

They have settled for letting Monroe and Nick meet up alone the next time. Nick is a bit surprised that Sean just allows it like that. He knows Sean told him he can make his own decisions, but he figures that when it’s about Wesen, Sean will definitely be more cautious.

 

Back-up check, Nick suddenly thinks. He rolls his eyes. Of course, he is so stupid, why didn’t he think of that before. Sean and Sebastien probably both checked on Monroe beforehand, way before they invited him over to their place for the first time.

 

Nick smiles. Seems like Sean really wants to know him safe. He can’t wait for the time when he is strong enough to watch out for Sean too. He is definitely going to give his all in his first training with Meisner.

 

Sean has actually dropped him off this time, because he is about to go to work too. It was kinda fun to drive together, and Nick has gathered all his courage to ask if Sean would mind if he learned how to drive. To his surprise Sean was happy to agree.

 

“It’s a great idea, Nicholas,” Sean nods his approval. “Make your license. I will check the offers today when I’m in my office. We can easily afford a second smaller car. And you can drive yourself then. It will give you more independence. Because frankly, the public transportation in Portland is terrible, and that’s still an understatement.”

 

“Isn’t it expensive though?” Nick asks carefully.

 

Sean sneers. “You married into a royal family. Money comes with the job description.”

 

Nick laughs. Sean has a way to sound entitled and arrogant, yet aloof at the same time. With any other person this might have been off-putting, but Sean can pull it off so well. It makes Nick happy that he is not trying to be someone else in front of him.

 

“What about a pony?” Nick asks innocently. “I could ride to meet up Monroe or Meisner.”

 

Sean snorts. “And where do you want to keep that pony?”

 

“On the terrace? I could teach it how to get your newspaper. And no one would need to cut the grass anymore.”

 

Sean reaches out his hand, ruffling through Nick’s hair non-too gently. Nick chuckles.

 

 

~~~

 

 

His first training with Meisner is exhausting, draining even. Nick did not expect it to be that bad.

 

It started okay.

 

Nick learns a few basic steps first, a few moves. He does fairly well, to his own surprise he is able to move quite smoothly and has a good intuition. Then however he tries to perform some moves with Meisner.

 

To his horror though Meisner doesn’t hold back, not even a bit. Nick loses count of how often he falls to the ground and how often he gets kicked or hit, up to the point that he even feels scared for his freaking life.

 

He doesn’t know what’s happening, he only knows Meisner as a supportive friend of Sean. He was nothing but kind towards him when he met him first. He just doesn’t understand what’s going on and what he did to Meisner, and how he is supposed to react, how he is supposed to go against Meisner. He still has no idea how to fight after all. He asks him to stop, but he doesn’t listen.

 

After a particular evil kick to his stomach though, Nick feels something move in him, something darker, something more feral. Before Meisner can kick him again, he has delivered a punch and makes him stumble back.

 

Nick is prepared this time, just waiting for Meisner to attack him again. Because he is sure that now he can finally get him. His ears are ringing, it’s almost like he can hear his blood rushing through his veins.

 

To his surprise though Meisner doesn’t attack him. He keeps his safe distance from Nick but his stance is relaxed all of a sudden. “Nick,” he says.

 

Nick frowns.

 

When Meisner steps closer towards him, Nick lashes out again. He hits him hard, sending him flying through the room and crashing against the wall. He gets up again, this time keeping a safe distance for longer. “I got it, Nicholas. I’m not going to fight you anymore.”

 

Nick tilts his head. Can he believe him? He wasn’t holding back before, so why would he do now!? “If this is a trick...”

 

“It is not,” Meisner states calmly.

 

Nick clenches his hands into fists. His nerves are still strained, all his senses on alert. Battling his own mind is hell off a difficult task.

 

“That’s it,” Meisner explains.

 

“That’s what?” Nick huffs.

 

“Your inner power, Nick. When your inner Grimm awakens you will be able to do just anything.” Meisner sighs. “I’m sorry for going so hard on you. I needed to know what you are capable off.”

 

Nick tries to relax, but his muscles are tensed, and his eyes won’t let him rest, following every of Meisner’s movements.

 

“You need to come down from it,” Meisner urges, he sounds kind like he did when Nick met him for the first time.

 

Nick takes a deep breath.

 

“Right,” Meisner nods. “Breath. Regularly. Try to listen to your heartbeat, and adapt your breathing to it.”

 

Nick does. Listens to the beating of his heart, only concentrating on himself for this moment. It helps, it seems, because slowly his heartbeat goes back to normal, the ringing in his ears stops.

 

“Good,” Meisner nods contently. When he approaches Nick this time, Nick doesn’t attack him, but he still feels guarded.

 

Meisner raises his hands in defense. “I swear, I won’t attack you now. I wasn’t lying when I said that I needed to know how your Grimm powers work.”

 

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Nick mutters, slowly feeling how the air of danger around him burns down.

 

Meisner chuckles slightly. “Disappoint? I’m actually pleasantly surprised.” His words calm Nick down a bit. So much that Meisner dares to walk up towards him. His eyes check him from head to toe. “Can I bribe you into drinking some coffee and cleaning you up a bit? If I send you home, looking like you do, I’m sure Sean will instantly pay me a visit to kill me.”

 

Nick raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Oh come on...”

 

“You don’t believe me?” Meisner snorts while he carefully grabs Nick’s arm to take a closer look at it. “He would be more than a little displeased with me. If not to say downright angry.”

 

“If you say so...” Nick mutters. His head feels a bit dizzy, he has difficulties to focus right now, so he just lets Meisner do his job. Sometimes Meisner asks him something and Nick nods, although he has no idea what they are talking about.

 

Shit, he is tired. He wants to lie down on the soft sofa in their living room and hide his face in one of the dark-blue pillows. And sleep. Just sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sebastien picks him up shortly after their training. Nick has just politely emptied a small cup with coffee, and is glad that he can finally go home. Meisner squeezes his arm softly. “Take a good rest at home, Nick,” he says. He sounds a bit worried. “Are you sure that you are alright?”

 

“I’m fine,” Nick tries to sound as convincing as possible. “A bit tired. But Sebastien will take me home immediately.”

 

“You did well, Nick,” Meisner tells him before he can leave. “I’m not a man of many words. I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.”

 

Nick nods, Meisner’s praise indeed makes him feel better. But for now he just wants to get home. Good thing it’s Sebastien who picks him up. He knows him well by now, and likes him. It’s easier to be relaxed when he is with him.

 

“How was your first training?” Sebastien asks, once Nick sat down next to him. His tone is warm and welcoming.

 

Nick throws him a dirty glance. He feels a bit better now, but still...

 

“Okay, I understand,” Sebastien chuckles softly. “Maybe I can raise your spirits a bit. You will be happy to hear that the Prince cooked for the both of you.”

 

“He did?” Nick asks, his mood indeed approving a bit by the prospect of Sean being at home and having food for him. He is simple-minded like that.

 

“He made curry chicken with rice,” Sebastien tells him further. “And at the precinct they were celebrating his wedding with you. You know, it was his first day at work after you married. He brought all the left-over cake back home. He said he made sure to get you some of the best pieces.”

 

Nick smiles slightly. “He did?”

 

Sebastien returns his smile. “I promise he did.”

 

“Why is he so kind to me?” Nick asks curiously.

 

Sebastien shrugs. “He cares a lot for you. He likes you.”

 

Nick blushes. “He only knows me for...what… two weeks?”

 

“I know him well,” Sebastien chuckles. “So I can reassure you that you definitely struck feelings he has buried deep inside him.”

 

“And what kind of feelings?” Nick asks curiously, leaning over a bit to inspect Sebastien’s expression thoroughly.

 

Sebastien smiles slightly. “I think that’s for you to find out yourself.”

 

 

 

Sebastien wishes Nick a good night and tells him he will wait for Nick to be safely in their apartment before he drives off again. He is a good guy, Nick figured already, so calm and genuinely nice.

 

Nick winces slightly when he takes a few steps at once. Meisner did patch him up a bit, but Nick was too out of it to realize what he was doing. Seems like he got hurt a bit more than he initially thought he did. He frowns slightly. He really can’t quite remember anymore...

 

Meisner wiped the floor with him today, how embarrassing.

 

When Nick opens the door he immediately catches the scent of curry. Hm, nice. He follows the scent to the kitchen where he finds Sean with a glass of wine and a newspaper. The food is perfectly prepared for them. “Hello,” Nick stutters and blushes. It feels weird to come home to another person.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean looks up and smiles.

 

“How was your day?” Nick asks, thankfully accepting the glass with soda Sean offers him.

 

“Good enough. I bet Sebastien told on me and already told you that we have plenty of cake for us,” Sean teases.

 

Nick can’t help a grin. He grabs one of the bar chairs, planning on pulling it closer. The sudden movement makes him wince though. Damn it, his shoulder.

 

Sean frowns. “Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes, I am fine.”

 

Sean scans his face properly, making Nick shift around nervously. “You looked like you were hurting right a minute before.”

 

Nick pretends to need something from the cupboard, just so Sean won’t be able to look at him. “No, I-”

 

Sean catches him by his wrist. “Look at me,” he orders.

 

Nick feels a slight shiver going down his spine when he turns. Sean looks at him, gaze intense and inscrutable. “Remember when we discussed our contract?”

 

Nick nods tentatively.

 

“Do you remember the rules?”

 

Again Nick nods carefully.

 

“Good, and now tell me which one you are about to breach at the moment.”

 

Nick blushes. He hasn’t expected Sean to see right through him so fast. “I… not the one where I get myself into unnecessary danger,” Nick mutters.

 

“Nicholas!”

 

Nick looks down at his shoes. “You don’t like to be lied to. And I should treat myself with care.”

 

“If you know, why don’t you try to stick to it?” Sean asks.

 

Nick blushes. “It’s embarrassing.”

 

“More embarrassing than being punished by me?”

 

Well, he has a point. Nick shifts around for a moment, before he takes a deep breath. “I faced no chance against Meisner,” he blurts out, noting how Sean blinks at his sudden rather explosive explanation. “I’m so weak. And then I got angry, and I couldn’t stop myself anymore, and kicked him. And even when he told me it was just to test my abilities, my mind was still working on its own, and I attacked him again. And... This is not normal, Sean. I… I don’t know.”

 

“You mean to say that while Meisner attacked you your Grimm powers appeared?” Sean asks carefully.

 

Nick nods.

 

“And Meisner beat you up beforehand?” he inquires further. “Without any mercy?”

 

Again Nick nods.

 

Sean sighs. “Okay, come,” he puts a hand against Nick’s neck and pulls him closer. “Meisner went against you with all he had to make your Grimm instincts appear. I believe that’s the reason why he challenged you so much today. Now that he knows how strong your powers are and how they work, he will be able to train you. And on the other side you know your powers too now, and you can gradually learn to control them.”

 

“I am never going to learn how to fight,” Nick mutters.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “You already know how to fight. The Grimm in you knows. And the Human will catch up fast.”

 

“I am sorry I almost lied to you,” Nick admits.

 

It makes Sean grin. “Almost, huh?”

 

Nick looks at him with what he hopes will be puppy eyes. It seems to work, somehow, because Sean just sighs dramatically. “I will let you off the hook this time, but only under one condition.”

 

“Yes?” Nick asks carefully.

 

“You will tell me exactly where you got hurt and let me patch you up without throwing a tantrum.”

 

There is a lot Nick could say about that, like… he is never throwing a tantrum, he is not a kid, he doesn’t need to be patched up, but eye to eye with Sean he can just nod meekly.

 

“Can we still eat together and have cake afterwards?” Nick asks carefully.

 

“Do you want to eat together?” Sean inquires.

 

Nick blushes and nods. He was looking forward to it all day.

 

Sean looks at him insistently. “Nicholas, even if I were to punish you, I would never take something from you, which you were looking forward to,” he says earnestly.

 

They settle down on the sofa amid a bunch of patches and first-aid kits. Sean twists Nick’s arm carefully. “This bruise here looks angry, Nicholas. Do you have more of them?”

 

“On my shoulder,” Nick admits honestly, remembering the promise he just gave Sean.

 

“Didn’t Meisner check on you before he sent you back?”

 

“He did.” Nick blushes, deciding to be honest again. “But I didn’t tell him.”

 

“Why not?” Sean inquires.

 

Nick frowns. “I don’t know...” he mutters. “I… I don’t think I wanted to lie to him. I just can’t remember anymore what I was thinking. I’m not even sure how I came back home.”

 

“Sebastien drove you,” Sean explains, his voice low and soft. “It’s okay. You don’t need to explain anything this time. Just focus on where you got hurt. Can you do that?”

 

Nick nods tentatively. “I will try.”

 

“Good boy,” Sean croons, while he proceeds to carefully massage creme onto his bruises.

 

Nick watches him before he cracks a careful smile. “I think I fell a lot… I hope I will never upset Meisner.”

 

Sean smiles slightly. “I think at one point Meisner might not want to upset you.”

 

Nick can’t remember afterwards how long they were sitting on the sofa and when they ate. He has the vague memory of Sean carefully coaxing him into eating something. And he remembers being led to the bathroom and then to his bed.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Sean wakes up to something... bumping against the wall. For a split second he believes it’s just his imagination. Then however he hears something drop to the ground. He is up his feet immediately. Did someone break in? Impossible! Who would dare to?

 

He only swiftly grabs his bathrobe and rushes downstairs. What he finds in the living room surprises him to no end. There is a chair which was knocked over to the ground… and Nick. He is stumbling around aimlessly.

 

“Nicholas?” Sean frowns. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay in bed?”

 

“I’m sorry...” Nick’s eyes are glassy. “Sir… Sean... I...”

 

“Are you not feeling well?”

 

“Nightmare,” he slurs.

 

Sean’s gaze wanders over Nick’s pale face, his eyes don’t seem to focus, his pupils are dilated. He is sweating slightly. When his gazes wanders to his neck, he realizes that Nick is wearing his collar. He probably wanted it for comfort. Sean grasps the situation immediately. “Sit down, Nicholas,” he says.

 

To his surprise Nick drops right on the floor on his knees, his hands shivering. “I’m sorry, Sir, so sorry. I didn’t… You are angry with me. I’m sorry.”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean’s voice is a lot softer now. “I’m not angry.” He lowers himself to the floor right next to Nick and touches his hair softly. “How far down are you?”

 

“I...what…?”

 

Sean looks at him in worry. “Stand up for me,” he orders, relieved to see that Nick’s instincts kick in and he follows his orders. He takes him by his arm, pulling him closer, noting how wide Nick’s pupils are, his body trembling. He is dropping. Fast this time. “Dear,” Sean says softly, his hand touching Nick’s neck carefully. “Do you want me to take you down?”

 

“I… don’t… bother.”

 

“You are not a bother to me,” Sean keeps his voice low. “We talked about this. I like to help. You are my Sub.”

 

“I...yes...” Nick slurs, barely able to pronounce the words.

 

“How many nights in a row didn’t you sleep?”

 

“F….few.”

 

“Come with me,” Sean stops the questioning, realizing it doesn’t get him anywhere. Instead he takes Nick’s hand, leading him towards his own bedroom. “Do you trust me with this?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?” Sean prompts.

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

“Your safe-word?”

 

“Cactus.”

 

“Nicholas, I have always liked my Subs to use words. This here is no different,” Sean states. “No nodding or any gestures. Speak. Is that clear?”

 

Nick wavers obviously.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean states with more insistence now to keep him there with him.

 

“Yessir,” Nick mutters, words more like a slur, but it’s enough for Sean.

 

Some progress, Sean thinks. “One more thing. Can you listen?”

 

Nick nods.

 

“Words, Nicholas.”

 

“I… can try… S...Sir.”

 

Sean realizes he doesn’t have all that much time left. He has to rely on the bare minimum on information, and worse, he has to rely on his own instincts to realize if Nick is unwell or too far down. But then, he knew that in advance already. He is prepared. “Sometimes I will ask you if you are alright, how you feel, if you want to do something.” He pauses, cupping Nick’s neck with his hand, his thumb right below his ear. “You say green, if you are okay with it. Green means yes, alright, progress. Orange when you want me to slow down or wait. Red means stop. Got it.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good, can you repeat it for me?” He feels a bit cruel for straining Nick’s nerves like that, but he has no other option. He needs Nick to remember. This is important.

 

“Green...” Nick stutters. “Okay.”

 

“Yes, very good, Nicholas. And orange?”

 

“Orange… means wait. Maybe.” He pauses. “Red. Stop.”

 

“Yes. You are doing well, dear,” Sean says softly. “So good.”

 

“I’m good?”

 

“Yes, very.” He can almost see Nick melting at his words

 

Sean smiles inwardly. “Good, and now.” He lets go of Nick’s neck. “Undress for me.”

 

Nick blushes. “Sir... I... really...”

 

“Don’t worry, Nicholas. This is not sexual. I won’t try anything while you are so far down,” Sean says earnestly. Because really he wouldn’t. “But skin contact is good.”

 

Nick nods dizzily, and without inquiring further, he strips out of his pajama top. “Can I...” he seems to need all his willpower to form a coherent sentence. “My pants?”

 

“No, take everything off.”

 

“Will you...” Nick licks his lips. “Too?”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean’s hands brush over Nick’s shoulders soothingly. “You need to relax, try to switch your mind off.” He pauses. “Will you feel better if I undress too?”

 

Nick nods.

 

Sean follows his wish, undressing first before helping Nick to take off his remaining clothes. Nick doesn’t really seem to notice anything around him, but when Sean pulls him into his arms, he seems to melt into them, rubbing his cheek against his upper arm. “You are so beautiful,” Sean praises. “So beautiful.”

 

“The… most beautiful you ever had?” Nick mutters.

 

An unusually tender smile appears on Sean’s lips. “Yes, you are perfect,” he says, noting how Nick seems to float on his praise.

 

He keeps Nick in his arms for a while, his hands stroking his warm skin carefully to reassure him that he is there, that he isn’t alone. It’s a wild guess he took, but Nick’s reaction proves him right. He relaxes faster when he feels Sean’s touch, and when he hears words of comfort and praise. Praise normally doesn’t leave Sean’s lips easily, he is rather composed and holds back on words of affection and encouragement, but having his Sub go limp in his arms and have him react to his words and voice does something to him.

 

Of course he has taken Subs down up to now. He has been careful while doing it, because that’s what any decent Dom is supposed to do, and he even enjoyed it to a certain extent. He has this certain drive every normal Dom has. But this here is different. He doesn’t even seek joy for himself, he rather wants Nick to feel as good as possible. He wants this to be a good experience for him, he wants him to enjoy it, he wants to him to seek for Sean’s comfort again, possibly even coming to him by himself the next time. He freaking wants to repeat that. Frankly, Sean didn’t know up to now that he has it in him.

 

Something in his stomach forms into a tight knot, sending tiny electric jolts through his body. Sean figures it’s not only the high he feels as a Dom… but joy. He likes it. Sean Renard, powerful and cold prince and Zauberbiest, likes to hold his Sub and make him relax. He likes to take him down.

 

The shivering in Nick’s body subsides a bit, signaling that indeed Nick is relaxing a bit more now, and Sean figures it’s time to push things further. “Come Nicholas,” he carefully leads Nick to his bed. “Lay down on your stomach.”

 

Nick nods.

 

“Words.” Sean prompts, careful about Nick’s state of mind.

 

“Yes… Sir...” Nick mutters, crawling over the bed and dropping down on his stomach.

 

“I will make this feel good for you,” Sean promises. “So good. You are so good, Nicholas.”

 

Nick hums contently at his words, while Sean kneels down next to him. He only shifts slightly for a bottle he has already prepared a few days ago. When he opens it the strong scent of lavender and sage fills the room.

 

“Do you like how this smells, Nicholas?”

 

“’sgood,” Nick sighs slightly. He has his eyes shut.

 

Sean spreads some of the oil on his palms, rubbing the liquid between his hands to warm it up before he begins to work it into Nick’s skin. Sean takes his time. He starts at Nick’s shoulders and moves downward inch by inch. He tries not to leave any part of Nick’s body except for his intimate parts, rubbing over tight spots and tensed muscles, all the while murmuring words of praise and comfort to Nick. He notes with content that the marks he saw on Nick’s body when he saw him in their wedding night faded completely.

 

After a while he makes Nick turn on his back, repeating the procedure again. Nick’s eyes are closed, his breath even, almost like he is asleep. Close, Sean thinks, so close.

 

“Sean?” Nick mutters and reaches out his arms.

 

Sean is surprised by the sudden spout of action, but doesn’t oppose, curious to how his normally so controlled and rather shy Sub is suddenly bolder while being so far down. Nick wraps his arms around Sean’s neck, pulling him down against his body.

 

Sean obliges, one of his hands continuing to caress Nick’s waist, the other brushing through Nick’s hair. He feels Nick’s lips roam his chest, and it takes every ounce of self-control from him not to initiate anymore contact. But he doesn’t want to get intimate with Nick when he is so far down, he wants him to be fully committing. So he just let’s Nick touch him as he likes, but for himself just keeps brushing over his back.

 

Eventually Nick’s movements get lazier as sleep seems to catch him completely. “Are you staying?” Nick mutters into Sean’s chest, voice almost inaudible.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Sean asks in return, careful hope in his voice. He wouldn’t intrude Nick’s privacy any further, unless Nick specifically asks him for it. If he is being honest, he gains something out of this too. Feeling Nick’s chest heave slowly, listening to his breathing. It calms him down too.

 

Nick nods drowsily. “Please, stay,” he mumbles tiredly, pressing his nose against Sean’s chest.

 

So, it’s settled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Sean took Nick down for the first time. How did you like it? I hope I did somewhat well. Sean is still very cautious about how to handle Nick, because they haven't been intimate yet, and he doesn't want to cross a certain line. It's also the reason why he is still very reluctant to punish him for something. 
> 
> Oh, and we will have more Monroe soon, I promise, and Rosalee. Also Hank and Wu will make an appearance soon. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support you show me! It means so much to me, I can't even voice it in words. But it really motivates me to write more!! THANK YOU ♥


	6. Chapter 6

Sean wakes up way before Nick , who is still sound asleep. Sean is relieved to say the least. Nick obviously needed to finally be able to get a good amount of rest. He carefully gets out of the bed, as quiet as possible not to wake Nick.

 

He goes directly to the bathroom first, showering and switching into a pair of comfortable clothes, relieved that it’s his day off and he can take everything slower than usual. He spends the morning with his coffee and a new book, relishing in the moment of domestic calmness.

 

Nick wakes up around lunch. When he joins Sean downstairs, Sean has to hold back every inch of his body not to hug him and kiss him. He looks so relaxed and joyful, a beautiful smile enlightening his face. Sean didn’t know before how much fulfilling it would be to see his Sub be so well-cared for and look so blissfully happy… because of him.

 

“Sorry,” Nick blushes slightly. “I slept way too long.”

 

“That’s good,” Sean nods contently. “You needed it.”

 

“Yes, maybe,” Nick sighs. “I didn’t sleep well at all before. I was so… tensed.” He pauses. “Thank you, Sean.”

 

“You don’t need to thank me for it,” Sean says earnestly. “Seriously Nicholas, taking you down is something I naturally want to do.”

 

“Because you are a Dom?”

 

“I think it’s more because I am _your_ Dom,” Sean answers honestly. “I want my Sub to feel as safe and well as possible.”

 

“I...” Nick looks down at his fingers, embarrassed. “I can’t quite remember what happened yesterday night, but I remember your voice. And you were so gentle. And I smelled like a whole Lush store this morning. It’s such a pity I can’t remember everything.”

 

“Do you feel good?” Sean asks with a smile.

 

Nick nods.

 

“That’s all that counts,” Sean answers with a content nod.

 

“I still wish I would remember all the details,” Nick sighs. “I woke up naked.” He pauses. “Where you naked too?”

 

“Yes,” Sean answers, partly surprised by the question, partly amused. Surprised because Nick is normally not that bold, amused – highly amused – because his expression is hilarious.

 

Nick sighs. “And I can’t even remember...” he grumbles.

 

Sean’s amusement grows. “Do you wish you would remember how I look naked?” he teases.

 

“Of course,” Nick answers with so much honesty that for an instant Sean doesn’t know what to say.

 

Then however he forces a deadpan expression on his face. “We can always repeat it,” he says.

 

“It’s not going to be the same,” Nick pouts, making Sean’s amusement grow even further.

 

“What did I tell you about pouting?” he asks mock-sternly. “I think we had a serious conversation about it?” When Nick looks at him slightly confused, an evil smirk spreads across Sean’s lips and he reaches out his hand to catch Nick’s cheek between his index finger and thumb. He pinches it, hard enough to leave a red spot behind. He doesn’t let go though until Nick both laughs and complains and tries to swat his hand away.

 

Sean smirks and lets go, watching in amusement how Nick rubs the red spot he left. “Next time just slap me instead,” Nick complains, but his eyes betray him by sparkling slightly.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “You want to get slapped by me?” he teases

 

“Depends on where you are going to slap me,” Nick states, once more unusually bold. So bold that Sean halts breathlessly, wondering if Nick even realizes what he is saying. Apparently though Nick hasn’t caught on with Sean’s surprise, and Sean definitely won’t point it out to him. He is too relieved that Nick is finally warming up so much towards him.

 

When Nick looks at him again, Sean suddenly has to fight the urge to pull him into a hug. He wants to bury his nose in his hair and just have a moment of closeness with him, relish in the joy he is radiating at the moment.

 

Nick takes a careful step closer. “You know...” he looks at Sean shyly. “You don’t need to hold back.”

 

Sean stares at his young Sub, realizing how perceptive Nick is, and also how helping him getting down has made him so much more relaxed, like his batteries were charged fully. Yet again he wonders if Nick is truly committing to whatever he implied right now. He doesn’t want to be too bold, because frankly Nick didn’t have any choice but to marry him, and he doesn’t want Nick to feel obliged to do anything or let him do anything. If anything Nick needs to be the one to make the first step. But Sean doesn’t want to decline Nick’s invitation either, so he goes with his first intention and pulls him into a hug. Nick smiles against his shoulder, his hands clinging to Sean’s back. He shifts a bit and looks up to Sean.

 

“You are really tall,” Nick mutters.

 

Sean smiles. “Is that a problem?”

 

“No, I quite like it.” Nick smiles. “What about me?”

 

“What about you?” Sean teases.

 

“Anything you like about me?”

 

Sean snorts. “Your attitude… occasionally,” he deadpans. “And I would say your eyes and face are definitely above average.”

 

Nick grins. “I take that as a compliment,” he teases, not moving away when Sean reaches out his hand to touch his face. His fingers brush over Nick’s neck first, then go up his cheek, pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. He really has beautiful, expressive eyes, Sean figures.

 

He is about to figure out if he should just kiss Nick… or wait for him to set the next step, when their doorbell rings.

 

“I can’t believe it,” Sean frowns. “Again!?”

 

Nick looks similarly displeased. “Yeah...” he mutters. “Talk about timing.”

 

Sean sighs deeply and opens the door. It’s Sebastien. “Did we have an appointment?” Sean asks, his tone probably less than inviting.

 

“No,” Sebastien coughs slightly. “Sorry,” he blinks. “Did I interrupt anything?”

 

“Would it matter now, if we said yes?” Sean asks calmly.

 

“I’m just here to pick Nicholas up and take him to Monroe’s place.” He pauses. “Unless the meeting was canceled.”

 

“It wasn’t,” Nick sighs slightly. “But I think I will learn to take the bus to Monroe’s place… to be more flexible, you know?”

 

Sebastien nods, a bit confused. Sean however smiles slightly.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“Wow, you look well, little Grimm,” Monroe points out with a curious raise of his eyebrows. He has served them lavender tea and vegan oatmeal cookies.

 

“I have a name, Blutbader,” Nick returns with a grin while he happily munches on his cookie. They taste better than he anticipated.

 

Monroe chuckles. “Fair enough. Just for the record: You officially want me to call you Nicholas or Nick?”

 

“Nick!” Nick answers promptly. “Only Sean calls me Nicholas.” He blushes when he mentions it, cursing inwardly for always reacting like an embarrassing teen when he talks about Sean.

 

Monroe looks at him for a while, a curious look in his eyes. “You don’t like it?”

 

“No, I...” Nick shifts around a bit, blushing further. “He says it in a certain way. I like how he says my name.”

 

“Well, he seems to be doing something right, because you look way more relaxed than the last time we met.” Monroe scans his face. “Your whole body language is different...”

 

Monroe is a Dom too, Nick realizes all of a sudden. He wonders if he needs to feel intimated or if he should prepare to fight, but… Sean would have never let him visit him alone if he was dangerous. However, what if Sean was wrong and Monroe was one of...those Doms?

 

“Nick, Nick.” Monroe pulls him out of his thoughts. “I am sorry,” he hurries to reassure him. “I didn’t mean to stare… I was just, you know, I wanted to be sure that you are healthy and well.” He pauses, a crooked smile appearing on his face. “If it helps, I will promise you that I’m the least scary Dom ever.”

 

He seems like a gruffly teddy-bear, Nick thinks, but keeps his thoughts to himself. Gladly his word filter seems to work for once, unlike when he is with Sean and slips all the time. “May I ask if you are bound?”

 

“I’m not,” Monroe looks to the side, scowling. “But...”

 

“Oh, but there is someone...” When Monroe glares at him, Nick beams. “I knew it!

 

Monroe clears his throat. “Why are you making this so embarrassing?”

 

Nick grins. “I am making this embarrassing? You were the one beating around the bush. I’m sure it’s a super-cute guy or girl.”

 

“I feel more attracted to girls,” Monroe explains with a chuckle. “Probably the reason why your scary Zauberbiest lets us meet alone.”

 

Nick looks at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“Nothing,” Monroe rolls his eyes slightly. “So, yes, I have a girlfriend.”

 

“So...” Nick continues to ask, not able to hide his curiosity. “Are you working together?”

 

“No, I’m here with my clocks, and she owns a spice shop,” Monroe grins. “Is curiosity a Grimm thing?”

 

Nick shrugs. “I don’t know, I have no comparison.”

 

The look on Monroe’s face is hilarious to say the least. He looks confused, slightly irritated, flabbergasted. “I meant it as a joke,” he stutters. “Because of the… you were asking so much and...”

 

“I know,” Nick interrupts him with a grin. “I’m living with Sean! Excuse me, but your teasing is nothing!” He laughs when Monroe throws a pillow at him.

 

Monroe grumbles a bit, but in the end he chuckles slightly. “And they told me you were shy,” he teases.

 

Nick smiles happily. For all his gruffness Monroe is actually quite likable. He didn’t expect to hit it off with him so fast. They chat for a bit longer and Nick even feels comfortable enough to share some parts of his life with Monroe, things he has only told Sean up to now. But Sean was right, it’s different to share things with a friend – or whatever he and Monroe are going to be.

 

“Do you want to see the spice shop?” Monroe asks after a while.

 

“You would show me?” Nick blinks. “I thought you would rather keep the Grimm away from your Sub.”

 

“Yeah, I would, but you don’t know Rosalee. She wouldn’t be too happy with me if I didn’t introduce you to her,” Monroe chuckles softly. “She wants to see you for herself, or she will think you beheaded me.”

 

Nick pouts. “Like I would do that.”

 

“If you look like that, you look like a kicked puppy,” Monroe grins.

 

Nick sighs. “At least you didn’t squeeze my cheek. That hurts.” He grins. “But it’s also kinda hot.”

 

Monroe looks at him in confusion, reminding Nick that he is not alone at the moment and that he should not daydream about Sean and his beautiful long fingers, and what they could possibly do to him.

 

He wished he would remember last night when Sean took him down.

 

Oh man, all he can think about now is Sean. He can’t help it. Sean doesn’t smile a lot, but sometimes his lips tug into a smirk and there is a certain glint in his eyes. Nick is a sucker for that. He loves when he is the one who elicits these reactions. And he loves the way Sean sometimes touches him when they stand next to each other, how he softly grabs his shoulder when he walks by him and sometimes takes his hand. And sometimes Sean’s gaze lingers on him for a little longer than usual. It’s these moments when Nick hopes he sees something in Sean’s eyes… an interest, a certain longing for him.

 

“So what do you say?”

 

Nick blinks in confusion. Damn it. He is with Monroe, and they are in front of a spice shop now. He hasn’t even realized how they left the house and came to this place. “My hormones are going crazy,” Nick mutters.

 

Monroe blinks. “Sorry?”

 

“Nothing.” Nick forces all these difficult thoughts away for now. “Is this the shop?”

 

“Yeah, I just asked you if you want to go inside?” Monroe raises his eyebrows. “Difficulties with your hearing?”

 

“No,” Nick sighs. “My hearing his perfect. I have other problems.”

 

Obviously problems with concentrating. Because here he is… daydreaming. Again.

 

 

The spice shop finally pulls Nick out of his thoughts for real, because what he sees there is so unusual, like from another world, he can’t do anything else but look at everything in awe. He feels like a little kid. “There is something like a love potion?” he asks curiously.

 

“It’s more like an aphrodisiac,” a female voice can be heard.

 

Nick spins around, his eyes falling on a woman in her mid to late twenties, she looks normal on first glance, almost plain, but once you set eyes on her she has something calm and alluring about her. Beautiful eyes, Nick concludes, she is so pretty. Monroe coughs. “That’s… Rosalee.”

 

“Oh,” Nick chuckles. “The woman who has you in her palm.”

 

Rosalee raises her eyebrows. “Did he say that?”

 

“No,” Monroe grumbles.

 

“He implied it,” Nick chuckles. “Let’s just say, as a Sub I can hear certain… implications and tones.”

 

“I see.” Rosalee smiles, the tension leaving her body. “You are the Grimm, aren’t you?”

 

“Is it bad if I say yes now?” Nick asks carefully.

 

“Well, nothing we can change anyways,” Rosalee says, smiling when Monroe approaches her. He puts a hand on her back and looks at her like there is the sun shining out of her whole being. Nick has to hold back a sigh. He wishes he could do that with Sean, just look at him that way without it being weird, or have Sean share such an intimate gesture with him.

 

Rosalee looks at him for a moment, and then just like that she woges. Nick blinks in confusion, before he scans her in awe. He even steps a bit closer, too curious to notice the frown on Monroe’s face. “Hey, what are you doing, Nick?”

 

“I just can’t help it,” Nick tilts his head. “You are so beautiful,” he says quietly.

 

“Excuse me?” Monroe mutters while Rosalee looks at him in slight wonder.

 

“What are you?” Nick asks curiously.

 

“A Fuchsbau,” she explains quietly.

 

Nick sighs. “Is it true that Grimms normally kill beings like you?”

 

“Some Grimms kill every Wesen they see,” Monroe explains.

 

Nick shakes his head. He doesn't even understand why he feels guilty. He is not at fault for being born as a Grimm, and he didn’t kill anyone. Well, except for that reptile-like Wesen which attacked him once when he was still locked in. Still, it’s like he feels embarrassed and guilty for his ancestors. “How could anyone try to kill you? That’s not right.”

 

Rosalee turns back into her human form. She looks flustered, but also weirdly pleased. “My,” she stutters. “You for sure are a special Grimm.”

 

“Hey,” Monroe pouts. “No flirting.”

 

The slightly weird and heavy atmosphere is gone immediately. “Don’t worry,” Nick grins and raises his hand to show him the bracelet Sean gave to him. “I am bound to a super-hot Dom!”

 

“So...” Monroe asks curiously. “Since you sound so excited about his hotness. Did you already...”

 

“Did I what?” Nick asks confused.

 

“Nothing!” Rosalee intervenes, glaring at Monroe. “Forget what he said.”

 

“Oh,” Nick blinks, before he blushes slightly “Man, I didn’t know you want to know so many juicy details.”

 

“He didn’t mean to pry,” Rosalee hurries to explain. “You know, when you get intimate, it’s like… like a ritual, you could say. It makes everything so… intense for a moment. You are building a special connection then, as weird as it sounds.”

 

Nick listens in awe. “I didn’t know that.”

 

“Did no one prepare you for these things?” she asks carefully.

 

Nick shrugs. “I was raised to please my Dom, no matter what. And to never upset him. That’s all I learned.”

 

Monroe rolls his eyes. “Now that’s the most important,” he mutters, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

Rosalee elbows him.

 

“What?” Monroe grumbles. “The poor kid is completely brainwashed. No surprise the royal family wanted to get their hands on him. He is just lucky he coincidentally was sold to Renard out of all. We all know he gives a damn about his family and their traditions.”

 

Nick looks at them thoughtfully. “So, they wanted to own me,” he mutters. “If I hadn’t ended up with Sean, my fate would have been a lot darker.” He grows pale. “I might have still been locked away or worse… get used as a sex slave or...”

 

“Great,” Rosalee huffs towards Monroe before she turns to face Nick. “Listen, I have heard that your mother had some sort of weird connection to Captain Renard’s Hexenbiest-mother. They won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

 

“I know,” Nick says quietly. “I know. But Monroe is right. I was just lucky. If Meisner didn’t find me, Sean wouldn’t know about my existence either. And then...” His voice trails off. “all the bad possibilities. Just because I am a Sub.”

 

Rosalee reaches out her hand carefully to take Nick’s. Nick lets her. “Not all Doms are bad,” she says softly. “Actually most of them are pretty decent. They are just like us, except for their gender. Look at Monroe. And you know Meisner. Some of my best friends are Doms.” She smiles. “The Captain hasn’t even touched you up to now, has he?”

 

“No, he hasn’t,” Nick blinks. “He didn’t punish me either.”

 

“Was there a moment where he could have, but didn’t?” she inquires.

 

Nick frowns. “I’m not sure. I think… yes. Smaller breaches of rules. But he didn’t.”

 

“Do you know why?”

 

Nick shakes his head in surprise. “No. Is there a reason?”

 

“He respects your boundaries. He doesn’t touch you in a sexual way because he knows you aren’t ready, and he wants you to be ready to commit willingly. And he didn’t punish you yet for smaller things because he wants to give you room to grow and come clear with your feelings. He knows that you don’t trust him yet and that you were treated badly before.” She smiles slightly. “He is trying to be considerate and sensitive. That’s a pretty decent way to go about things, isn’t it?”

 

Nick returns her smile. “I am not scared of him. Even if he punished me, I wouldn’t be afraid. I know the difference.”

 

“Then tell him,” Rosalee chuckles softly. “He will be happy to hear that, believe me.”

 

~~~

 

 

“You are so lucky to have such an awesome Sub at your side,” Nick sighs dreamily while Monroe skillfully maneuvers his car over a bumpy road. “I am so envious.”

 

“Why are you envious?” Monroe asks confused.

 

“I want to be as good as she is,” Nick sighs.

 

“Jeez.”

 

“She is wonderful.”

 

Monroe chuckles. “I know.” He smiles fondly “I am one lucky bastard.”

 

Nick grins. “So, where are we going to? You are leading me to a forest?” He pretends to be shocked. “You want to abduct me?”

 

“Only if I would like to die,” Monroe snorts.

 

“Because Sean would kill you?” Nick asks curiously.

 

“That too,” Monroe sighs. “Man, Nick, you are a Grimm. You are at least as dangerous as a Zauberbiest.”

 

“Oh, right, I forgot.” Nick grins. “Tons of new stuff to learn.”

 

“It’s going to be an instinct to you soon,” Monroe tells him, before he pauses. “No wait, let me rephrase that. It already is an instinct to you, you only need to embrace it and allow it to happen.”

 

They leave the car at the small parking lot close to a path leading into the forest. Once they get out of the car, Monroe looks at Nick thoughtfully. “Is something wrong?” Nick asks.

 

“Didn’t you forget something?” Monroe wants to know.

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know,” Monroe grumbles. “I for one am going to write Rosalee a swift message that I’m coming home later… She might be worried if I keep her waiting too long. And I don’t like to worry her.”

 

Nick looks at him, his eyes widening. “Shit, I almost forgot! You are my life savior, Monroe!”

 

“Yeah,” Monroe snorts. “Might also be saving my own life. I kind of have the feeling that if you don’t tell your royal husband that you are late, he will come to look for you and then blame me. It’s a self defensive mechanism, boy.”

 

“Yeah, mine doesn’t seem to work. I almost broke a major rule. And he has only three! Like how hard can it be.”

 

Monroe sighs deeply. “As a fellow Dom I can tell you, knowing your Sub is on a dangerous job, and waiting for them and not knowing where they are, makes us so anxious.”

 

“Really?”

 

“If it was Rosalee I would be like: What if another Dom took advantage of her? Did something happen? Why wasn’t I there to protect her? She needs me and I don’t know where she is! She trusted me, I let her down. It’s my fault if she gets hurt! I failed her. I didn’t protect her.”

 

“Is this how it feels to a Dom?” Nick asks in surprise.

 

Monroe shrugs. “To the decent ones.” He pauses. “For us it’s also about finding a middle way. We can’t always keep tabs on our Subs, we need to let them breathe and allow them to grow and develop to their own pacing and liking. The decent ones know that and try not to be too bothersome. The not so decent ones will either not care or use it as a way to pressure their subs, manipulate them and lock them in.”

 

“Yes,” Nick says quietly.

 

“Not all Doms are bad,” Monroe urges softly.

 

Nick thinks of Sean for a moment, and Meisner, and also Monroe himself and how Rosalee looked at him with so much fondness. “I know. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that though, and I slip into old patterns.”

 

“Did you ever meet one of these bad Doms?”

 

Nick stays quiet.

 

Monroe looks away. “Sorry. Forget that I asked.”

 

“It’s just...” Nick pauses. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it yet.”

 

“You have someone to listen once you are,” Monroe nods towards him. “Unless you prefer it to be the Captain.”

 

“It’s different with Sean.” Nick explains quietly. “I know I could talk to him, and I trust him, but… he is my… you know...”

 

“Yes, sometimes it’s easier to talk with a friend,” Monroe agrees. “You know… Rosalee is a good listener too, and she is a fellow Sub. Maybe it would be easier for you to...” He pauses. “I don’t mean to meddle too much, sorry.”

 

“No,” Nick shakes his head. “I appreciate the gesture, Monroe. I will think about it.” He looks down at his phone when it blinks. Sean has already answered, thanking him for telling him he was going to be late, and wishing him a fun evening. Nick feels guilty immediately. Without Monroe he wouldn’t even have written him. “I should tell him that you reminded me of writing him.”

 

Monroe rolls his eyes. “Wow, do you have some sort of honesty complex?”

 

“Actually no...” Nick tilts his head. “But I don’t want to disappoint Sean...”

 

“Oh dear Jesus,” Monroe chuckles. “You are looking like a kicked puppy now. Don’t look so adorably guilty. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“I need to be more considerate,” Nick mutters.

 

“I think you are already considerate enough,” Monroe smiles. “It’s just that your self-care and protection mechanism don’t work yet”

 

“Sean said the same thing,” Nick smiles carefully.

 

“You really like him, don’t you?”

 

Nick blushes. “There is not much not to like about him.”

 

Monroe grins. “He is also quite tall and looks strong. Be thankful that I saved you from his strong hand.”

 

“I am,” Nick chuckles.

 

“So, how thankful do you feel?”

 

Nick grins, his good mood returning to its fullest. “The next tea is on me.”

 

Nick isn’t sure how long Monroe leads him through the forest, he kind of loses his track of time. After a while though he notes something different, something new, it’s like his senses are suddenly sharper. He hears so well all of a sudden, even the tiniest noise becomes notable to him, his gaze, all his senses are so sharp. He looks around in awe, taking in the sound and scent of the forest. “Wow,” he mutters while he takes a careful sniff. “I smell something… or someone… a bit like...” He pauses. “Sheep?”

 

“Seelenguter,” Monroe states in surprise. “You can smell them? There is a whole group of them living in a few cottages further down that path. We shouldn’t disturb them though. They will be helluf scared of you… and me.”

 

“Can we catch a look on them?” Nick asks curiously.

 

Monroe sighs dramatically. “Well, the intention of this was to show you around anyways. So, if we are very quiet and sneak up-”

 

“Yay!” Nick exclaims.

 

“Quiet, I said,” Monroe grumbles.

 

“Sorry,” Nick grins while he follows Monroe through a whole thicket out of grass and nettles. He doesn’t mind though. What he sees is way too interesting. There is a whole group of men and women, attending a huge farm. “They are so many,” he mutters.

 

“They always live in large groups,” Monroe whispers. “They are quite social. I am sure you will find something about them in your books.”

 

Two of them seem to argue a bit, a young guy with his girlfriend, Nick assumes. He waits patiently for a while, when one of them finally woges. “So that’s how they look like,” Nick watches them in interest. “Well, they look… fluffy, I would say. Cute. Not as beautiful as Rosalee though.”

 

“No one is as beautiful as Rosalee,” Monroe comments proudly while he pulls Nick away and towards the secure darkness of the forest again. “How about we go and look for a place to hide your books?” he suggests.

 

“Good idea,” Nick nods, remembering how Sean told him the same a while ago. “We can’t keep them in our apartment. Sean is scared one of the royal family members will find them.”

 

“We should definitely avoid that,” Monroe muses.

 

“Do you know a place?”

 

“I might have an idea...”

 

 

~~~

 

 

He doesn’t see Sean this night, unfortunately. He called Nick briefly, telling him he needs to go to an important emergency meeting at the precinct. Nick feels a bit sad, because he wanted to tell Sean about the things he saw tonight, and also that he and Monroe indeed found a place to hide the books at.

 

But well, they can’t help it. He looks forward to tomorrow though. Sean promised he would be back from work earlier than usual.

 

Slightly bored Nick decides to roam his books a bit, and look up the sheep-like Wesen, Seelenguter, he saw today. It’s hours later when the blinking of his phone pulls him out of his thoughts. It’s a message from Sean.

 

_Nicholas, let me guess, you are still awake and I have to remind you to go to bed?_

 

Nick blinks in confusion, a glance to the clock making him realize it’s quite late already. Way past midnight. He blushes. Shoot, he promised Sean he wouldn’t stay up too late to study. _Yes, Sir, you are right. I am sorry! I just didn’t notice the time._

 

He can almost see Sean in front of him, how he raises his eyebrows – either to mock him or to scold him or both. _What did you do?_

 

_Read up on what I saw today._ Nick sighs.  _How did you know?_

 

_A feeling._

 

Nick bites his lips. _Are you angry?_

 

_Yes. Very._

 

Nick tilts his head, trying to imagine the way Sean would say it if he was here. Tease. _Really?_

 

_No. But I will be if you won’t go to bed now._

 

Even through his message it’s quite obvious that he isn’t kidding. _I have already put the books away._ He shifts around a bit before sending a second message. _I am sorry for being so bad at this._

 

_Bad at what?_

 

_Bad at looking after myself._

 

Sean’s message follows swiftly. _Your_ _self-defense_ _mechanism needs some polishing. Other than that you aren’t bad at “it” at all._

 

_:-)_

 

_One more emoticon and I will come over now and smack your cute butt. And no, I’m not kidding._

 

Nick laughs slightly. _I will be good. Going to bed now._ He considers his words for a moment, but then recalls what Monroe told him today. He writes messages to Rosalee so she won’t be worried. It’s okay for a Sub to feel worried for their Dom. He decides to give it a try. _Be careful tonight, please._

 

His heart thumps like crazy while he waits for Sean’s message. _I will. Don’t worry._

 

Nick smiles happily. _Thank you. Good night, Sean._

 

_Sleep well, dear._

 

 

_~~~_

 

 

“Sean, are you here?”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean looks up when Nick joins him in the kitchen around lunch. He is preparing a pizza dough with the help of a recipe his mother sent him. “Yesterday night my mother called and I got an earful about healthy nutrition for you, so how about for a change we cook something instead of ordering something in or eating out?”

 

To his surprise Nick blushes deeply. He seems to be almost… reluctant, which is very rare for Nick. Up to now he was pretty much excited about any suggestion Sean made concerning their life together. “Sure,” he stutters, totally unconvincing.

 

“If you don’t want to,” Sean states calmly. “Just say it.”

 

“No, no!” Nick blurts out. “I want to cook with you.”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean sighs. “I am not sure if you are aware of it, but every time you are being insincere, it shows in your eyes.”

 

Nick blushes even further. “Sorry,” he says quietly, looking down to the floor. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

Sean takes his chin between his fingers and tips it upwards. “I am not hurt just because you have other plans or hate cooking.”

 

“I want to spend time with you,” Nick answers honestly. “I don’t mind what we do.”

 

“So, you just don’t like cooking, huh?” Sean asks, slowly starting to feel amused.

 

“No, that’s not it!” Nick blurts out.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean brushes over Nick’s cheek with the back of his hand, not to spread any flour on his skin. “Take a deep breath. Don’t panic over nothing and just talk to me, okay?” He allows Nick to have a moment to regather his senses before he continues. “What’s the problem?”

 

“I… I am a very bad cook. During our Sub training, we had cooking lessons too, and I… just didn’t get it,” Nick looks sad all of a sudden. “I was so bad at it, I… I got beaten for messing up all the time. At one point they gave up and told me to focus on my body instead and please my Dom in a sexual way.”

 

His explanation takes Sean completely by surprise. He feels shocked, angry, upset. It’s the first time Nick actually shares some details about his past. Sean dries his hand with a towel, before he shifts his full attention back to his Sub. He takes his hand, carefully brushing over it with his thumb. “I am so sorry for what you went through, my dear boy.”

 

Nick’s eyes look dangerously watery. “I… it’s in the past,” he stutters. “I… I should have moved on by now.”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean tries to pick his words wisely. “Things like this,” he starts, avoiding the word trauma not to unsettle Nick further. “Don’t just go away immediately. You are allowed to feel angry and sad about what happened to you. Nothing about this was fair or right. I will never condone what they did to you.”

 

“Really?” Nick looks up at him.

 

“It’s wrong on all levels,” Sean states earnestly. “And every Dom who participated in this, is not worthy of even being remotely close to a Sub. It’s a lowlife abusive waste of society. And I bet with you that both Meisner and Monroe, two fellow Doms, will tell you the same. There is no excuse for treating Subs like this!”

 

Nick stays quiet for a while before he bites down on his lips, sudden anger flashing in his eyes. “I hate that they ruined so much for me.”

 

Better, Sean thinks, he finally allows himself to show his anger and displeasure of what happened. He reaches out a hand to brush through Nick’s hair softly. “From now on we will try to replace the bad memories with new ones. Let’s make sure you can replace all these bad experiences and get a second chance to try all the things which were ruined for you.”

 

Nick smiles shyly. “Can we… really?”

 

“Of course,” Sean smiles warmly. “And Nick,” he pauses. “Thank you for sharing this memory with me. I know it probably wasn’t easy. It means a lot to me that you deemed me trustworthy enough.”

 

Nick shakes his head, leaning forward a bit to rest his forehead against Sean’s chest. Sean feels relieved to say the least, allowing his fingers to brush over Nick’s neck. “I told you I am really bad at cooking,” he mutters. “You think I can learn?”

 

Sean feels amused. “The trick is to start with something simple,” he explains. “And then gradually do more difficult things. How about we make an omelet. That’s simple and tastes nice.”

 

“And this here,” Nick nods towards the dough.

 

“I will finish it and keep it for tomorrow,” Sean states in a matter-of-fact tone, not giving Nick the chance to beat himself up over ruining their perfect dinner. “For today we’ll try and make omelets. So...” he looks around. “Would you cut some vegetables?”

 

Nick beams at his tasks. “Yes, of course!”

 

Sean watches him how he hurries to gather the ingredients, his scrutinizing gaze not leaving his young Sub while he tries his best to cut tomatoes and zucchini. This went quite well, but he is not going to trick himself into believing that it will always be that easy. He just scratched on the surface of Nick’s past tonight, and he is horrified at what else he will probably find there.

 

He also realizes that he needs to be a lot more patient with Nick. He won’t always be able to make him talk and open up on the spot like today. Sometimes he will need to allow Nick to take his time until he is ready to talk.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick’s been right, he is not the most skilled cook, but as Sean told him he managed to work through smaller, easier tasks and at the end of it was able to prepare an omelet for them which might not have looked the best, but tasted well.

 

He was so proud afterwards, it was endearing.

 

Now Nick has settled on the sofa with a book, while Sean took his notebook to the dining table and answers some emails. He is at his fifth or sixth mail when Nick sneezes. Loud enough that for a second Sean thinks something exploded. He looks up in surprise and slight worry. “Bless y-” Nick sneezes again, before his body is shaken by a coughing fit. He coughs and gasps for air, so much that Sean is up his feet immediately. He approaches Nick, sitting down next to him and rubbing his back.

 

“Careful,” he says, voice calm and firm. He has dealt with people short on breath facing panic attacks a few times to know keeping them calm is the most important. This here is not any different. “Try to take a breath. Slow. Yes, that’s good.”

 

Nick’s coughing calms down and he makes an exhausted gasp afterwards.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean frowns, checking his young husband insistently. Nick seemed to be well this morning, until now. His eyes are slightly red all of a sudden, and glassy. “Are you feeling unwell?”

 

Nick looks at him in confusion. “I don’t know. I feel… weird.”

 

Sean tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed. “Define weird.”

 

For a moment Nick looks lost. “I have… troubles concentrating,” he finally admits. Before he can continue though his body is shaken by another coughing fit, albeit smaller this time. Sean keeps his hand on his back, stroking it for comfort. Nick looks at him through watery eyes. “It’s hard to… think.”

 

“Did you cough at night too?”

 

“Just a bit.” Nick rubs over his eyes with the palm of his hands. “I thought it’s nothing.”

 

Sean frowns in worry. “Sore throat?”

 

When Nick nods, Sean places his palm against Nick’s forehead. “Boy, you are sporting a fever!”

 

“I am?” Nick asks in surprise, shivering slightly. “I rather feel cold. Can’t be a fever.”

 

“You feel cold because of the fever,” Sean explains unusually patient. Anyone else he would have verbally picked apart for not even realizing he got sick, but Nick… it’s different with Nick. Did no one ever look after him before when he got sick? Probably not. He was most likely just left alone and had to deal with it himself.

 

Sean sighs deeply, not quite able to hide the hint of disapproval in his voice. “You have been crawling through the forest yesterday for the whole evening, am I right?”

 

“Excuse me, Sir,” Nick mutters tiredly. “But crawling might be the wrong word. It’s been more of a… discovery stroll.”

 

Sean pulls his eyebrows up, ignoring Nick’s cheeky comment. “Did you warm up when you returned?”

 

Nick looks surprised. He rubs his hands against each other. “Warm up?”

 

“Take a warm bath and switched into thicker clothes?”

 

Nick stares at him. “Was I supposed to do that?” he asks in surprise, eyes wide opened in disbelief and slight dread. “I mean, I did shower, because I felt gross, but… I did something wrong again, didn’t I?”

 

Sean touches his shoulder, before massaging his tight muscles soothingly. “It’s alright, you didn’t know.” When Nick looks down at his fingers nervously, Sean brushes over his cheek softly. “Let’s get you some tea and make you lie down a bit.”

 

Nick sighs slightly.

 

“Any objections against my suggestion?” Sean asks calmly, giving his voice more of an edge this time. Nick’s not going to waste his energy and argue him on this here.

 

Nick looks down at his fingers, biting on his lips. “I thim I am too tired to argue,” he finally admits, his voice is beginning to sound hoarse.

 

Sean nods contently. “Good boy. Now lie down and rest.”

 

He waits for Nick to lie down on the sofa before he puts a blanket over his shivering frame. “To imagine you didn’t realize you were sick,” Sean comments, not able to hide his bewilderment about this. “It’s so...”

 

“Stupid?” Nick grumbles.

 

“No.” Sean raises his eyebrows. “It’s so you.” He chuckles. “Sweet in an exasperated way.”

 

Nick pouts. “I am not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.”

 

“Let’s just say I find it charming,” Sean argues.

 

Nick blushes slightly. “Really?”

 

“Yes, and now be quiet and try to rest while I make you some tea, and ask my mother for a recipe against your coughing.” Sean looks at him sternly. “And when I say rest, I mean you are supposed to stay exactly here. You are only allowed to get up if you need to go to the bathroom. If you need anything else, even if it’s just a glass of water or you feel bored, you call me.”

 

Nick furrows his eyebrows.

 

“Am I being clear?” Sean asks once more.

 

Nick mutters something under his breath, but eventually nods with a dramatic sigh. “Yes, Sir.”

 

Sean is surprised that indeed he sticks to his promise, but probably only because he was exhausted enough to drop asleep the moment Sean gave him his tea and some meds. Sean brushes over his hair softly, settling down next to Nick and deciding to watch out for him while he sleeps. Eventually when his fever went down a bit he manages to take Nick upstairs so that he can sleep in his bed.

 

“I’m feeling a bit better,” Nick points out in a weak attempt not to have to go to bed.

 

“I know, and that’s good. But you are still going to sleep now,” Sean says firmly.

 

Nick sighs. “I didn’t even spend much time with you today.”

 

“We can do that tomorrow,” Sean tells him, not able to hide the smile which is about to sneak onto his face. “For tonight take it slowly and rest.”

 

Nick doesn’t ask him to stay, and Sean doesn’t ask him if he wants him to stay, but he does nevertheless. He uses a weak excuse about having to check some loose tiles on the floor, and Nick smiles in relief and nods, aware of how it’s just an excuse, and happy that he didn’t need to ask.

 

When Nick falls asleep Sean retreats to his own room, wondering for the nth time what the heck he is even doing. All of this… is so not him. He is not half as ignorant as people think he is, so of course he wouldn’t just ignore someone close to him who was suffering or sick. But taking them to bed and staying with them until they fall asleep? Sean has never done it before, he hasn’t been that considerate, but somehow Nick pulls all his triggers… in a positive way.

 

Had he been a more insecure person, this would have truly bothered him and might have even ruined his progressing relationship with Nick, but gladly he is confident enough to just notice the changes in his personality and just… wonder.

 

Sean switches into his pyjamas and takes some of the reports from his detectives into his hands, deciding to go to bed and skim through them. He didn’t want to stay at work too late again, and decided to take some work home. Griffin and Wu made some major progress on a case and he needs to catch up with it swiftly.

 

It’s maybe two hours later when he hears some noise, someone is calling…

 

Sean is up his feet immediately. It didn’t take him long to realize whose voice it is, especially considering he and Nick are the only people in this apartment. He hurries to Nick’s room, opening the door to see… Nick asleep, but he is shifting around, and mumbling incomprehensible words, his eyebrows are furrowed, and even in his sleep he looks truly bothered.

 

Sean sighs slightly, approaching his young Sub silently. “It’s okay, Nick,” he says softly, reaching out his hand to brush over Nick’s hair softly. “It’s alright. No one is going to hurt you.”

 

He keeps talking to him in a low voice, all the time carefully brushing over his back. “Sean,” Nick mutters. “I want...”

 

“What do you want?” Sean asks, noting that Nick is still half-asleep.

 

Nick sleepily reaches out his hand, fingers wrapping around Sean’s wrist. “Sean...”

 

“I think I understand,” Sean nods, walking to the other side of Nick’s bed and sitting down there, all the while not letting go of Nick’s hand. He lies down next to him, pulling Nick into his arms. “Don’t worry, my boy, you are safe.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick is sound asleep when Sean wakes up the in the morning, and to his embarrassment he has to admit he slept well too, really well. Somehow hearing Nick’s breath and feeling his chest heaving in a steady rhythm was relaxing to him too.

 

He carefully gets up not to wake Nick up and decides to prepare some breakfast for him. When he returns to Nick's room, Nick is awake, tired eyes blinking at him in slight confusion. “Good morning.”

 

“Good morning,” Sean says while putting the plate on Nick’s bedside table. He smiles slightly. “Have some breakfast, will you?”

 

“I dreamed something weird, I think,” Nick muses.

 

“You had a temperature,” Sean explains, though it’s not really an answer to Nick’s statement, but he doesn’t want to embarrass either of them. “How are you feeling now?”

 

“Better,” Nick smiles. “Thank you.”

 

“Okay.” Sean sits down at the edge of Nick’s bed, putting a hand on his back first before moving it to his forehead. His fever gladly went down a bit. “I have to head to work for a few hours. I want you to stay in bed and sleep, and eat your breakfast.”

 

Nick nods obediently, being sick apparently made him less prone to argue with Sean. Sean smiles. “Good.”

 

“Can I read?” He looks up at Sean with the most convincing puppy eyes Sean has ever encountered. Wow, he is good at that.

 

“Yes, you can. But don’t overdo it. Take breaks after each hour.”

 

Nick smiles happily. “I will.”

 

Sean chuckles slightly. “Call me when you need something.”

 

When he closes the door behind him, he sighs inwardly. He is not one to be worried just because someone is sick, but this is Nick and he apparently doesn’t know his limits at all. Sean feels a wave of anger washing over him when he thinks how Nick was treated previously, how he probably was left alone with everything… being sick, dropping, growing up. He is immensely lucky that Nick still came out of this sane, though Sean doubts he always feels as well as he lets on. He has seen people with trauma and knows from his experience that it takes a while to leave the past behind. Some things run deep and there are wounds which take a while to heal.

 

Certain things trigger Nick. He probably hasn’t even realized himself yet, but Sean has. He just doesn’t know what it really is which triggers him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this rather boring chapter - I know nothing specific happens, but I needed this intermediate chapter before we face a lot of interesting things next chapter :-) I promise you, it's soon going to be more intense... 
> 
> Also Rosalee and Nick both hinted at it already, but Sean is still reluctant of punishing Nick... out of obvious reasons. That will be a topic to discuss soon :D 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter although nothing really happens XD  
> As always your comments are loved and appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Sean plans not to stay too long at work, he just has a few meetings and needs to brief two of his new detectives. For the rest of the day he will put one of his experienced detectives in charge. Probably Hank. He is capable, and the others like him and listen to him.

 

“Griffin,” he waves at said man, calling him to his office. “I have a small emergency at home and need to leave earlier than usual.” He puts a few folders into his bag and takes his notebook. “I count on you for the rest of the day.”

 

“Of course, Captain.” Hank smiles. “Wu and I just wrapped up our last case. I will stay here for the rest of the day and finish some paperwork.”

 

Sean nods. “I will see you tomorrow. Call me in case of an emergency.”

 

“Yes, Captain.” Hank nods. “Captain?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I...” Hank pauses, looking slightly flustered. “I just wanted to… you know… congratulate you. I didn’t have the chance before, but well.”

 

Sean has to fight hard not to grin at this awkward words, but he knows Hank well enough to know that he means it. “Thank you.”

 

“You could take him along one day,” Hank offers. “I am sure everyone would be thrilled to meet him.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure they are,” Sean answers with the most deadpan expression he can mustere, before he cracks an amused smile.

 

Hank grins. “That pretty?”

 

“You have no idea,” Sean raises his eyebrows. “I will introduce you to each other one day. And now, excuse me.”

 

Hank nods politely. “Of course, Sir. See you on Wednesday.”

 

 

 

 

Sean is surprised to come back to a dark apartment. He has almost expected Nick to be still awake and probably buried somewhere under his book, obviously forgotten the time. But apparently that’s not the case. Sean puts his keys and bag aside and quietly roams the apartment. Living room is Nick-free, salon too. When he peeks into Nick’s bedroom, his heart stops beating for a moment.

 

It’s just...

 

It’s empty. Why… how… it can’t be, can it?

 

Did someone…

 

Or did Nick leave…

 

Sean’s blood freezes in his veins.

 

No, he wouldn’t. Not without telling him. It’s Nick, the honesty in person. He wouldn’t just leave?

 

Would he?

 

He tries to stay calm, but his heart betrays him by suddenly beating faster. For a moment the mere imagination of all the horrible options hit him and he gasps. He got used to Nick, he can’t be without him now.

 

He likes him.

 

It’s...

 

Sean takes a deep breath, deciding to calm down for a moment, so that he can think rationally again. He is not useful to anyone if he freaks out now. Nick could have just gone to the pharmacy or supermarket, maybe he asked Monroe to pick him up or Sebastien, maybe he forgot to tell Sean. It’s Nick after all.

 

Sean decides to do the most logical thing. Go and grab his mobile and call his Sub. He opens the door to his bedroom, switching on the light, about to take a warmer sweater in case he has to go and pick Nick up somewhere or worse… look for him… when his gaze falls on his bed.

 

It takes a while to sink in. A long while. When it has, Sean lets out a deep sigh, before he chuckles, a noise between frustration, relief and exasperation leaving his lips.

 

Not long ago he called Nick a drama queen. Way to go, Sean. Who was freaking out just now?

 

He carefully sits down at the edge of his bed, reaching out his hand to touch the figure underneath his blankets. “Nicholas?” he asks softly.

 

Nick stirs slightly. “Sean...” he mutters, blinking his eyes open with what seems a lot of effort. “Tired.”

 

“It’s okay, just sleep. Did you drink your tea?”

 

Nick nods.

 

“Food?”

 

“Just a bit.”

 

“I will bring you something,” Sean touches Nick’s forehead, realizing that the fever gladly went down a lot and that Nick is probably only bone-tired because of his chills and fever from the night before. A few bites of something warm will probably do miracles on him.

 

When he goes to the bathroom and living room though, something strikes him as slightly off. It’s so… tidy. His apartment is always tidy, but it’s even cleaner than usual.

 

He turns on his heels to go back to Nick immediately. “Nicholas,” he says sharply. “You cleaned up!?”

 

For a moment it looks like Nick is about to disappear underneath the blankets. “Just a bit.”

 

“What were you thinking?” Sean frowns, his fingers grabbing the blanket to pull it down a bit. “Look at me,” he orders. “Why did you think it was a good idea to clean up when you are sick?”

 

“I wanted you to come back to a clean apartment,” Nick tries to explain.

 

“I wanted to come home to my partner who feels better because he listened and took it easy the whole day.” Sean huffs.

 

“I am sorry,” Nick mutters. He looks miserable, eyes still red rimmed, skin grey-ish. Miserable enough for Sean to cool down a bit and let out a deep sigh.

 

“Why don’t you watch TV or read if you are feeling bored?” he asks.

 

“I wasn’t bored,” Nick explains nervously. “I… felt sick… and I threw up. It made me feel dizzy, and when I staggered around I knocked my tea over. And well...” He pauses.

 

So that’s why he cleaned up the bathroom in particular. Sean reaches out his hand to push Nick back into a lying position. He pulls the blanket up to his chin again. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asks.

 

“I didn’t want to bother you… I didn’t want to be overly dramatic.”

 

Sean sighs. “You are not a bother to me,” he explains to what seems to be the hundredth time since he met Nick. “You could have also called Monroe or Sebastien or even Meisner.”

 

Nick stays quiet.

 

“Nicholas, we have a rule for situations like these,” Sean explains. “Remember. I want you take care of yourself and not lie about your health?”

 

“Does this fall under this rule?” Nick asks, so genuinely surprised that his eyes are wide. “Really? I didn’t think it would… I… I am so sorry, Sean. Sir. Really, I-”

 

“Okay, I understand,” Sean interrupts him before he can talk himself into a panic attack or worse start dropping. He checks on Nick. “Nicholas how far down are you?”

 

Nick blushes slightly. “Just a bit.”

 

Sean looks at him for a while. “I just got a brilliant idea. I won’t punish you for breaking a rule, because you didn’t know better. But instead you are going to tell me now what you would like me to do.”

 

Nick blinks. “Sorry?”

 

“What should I do to make you relax?” Sean repeats calmly. “What do you need now?”

 

Nick blushes deeply. “I can’t possibly… it’s...”

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

He gives Nick some time to gather his thoughts and get over the initial first embarrassment. He almost believes he has to prompt him again, but Nick surprises him once again. “Could you maybe read something to me…?”

 

Sean looks at him in surprise. “Read?”

 

“I… I like your voice,” Nick looks away from him, eyes focused on a point at the wall. “And...” he pauses. “Could I come to your bed?”

 

Sean smiles. “You already are in my bed, Nicholas.” When Nick stares at him, eyes widening in horror when he inspects his surroundings, Sean smirks. “Did you miss me so much?”

 

“I,” Nick rubs over his eyes. “I must have confused the rooms. And...” He pauses, blushing once again. “Yes, maybe.”

 

“Good,” Sean smiles warmly. “I will get you something to eat now, some soup which will fill your empty stomach a bit but not mess with it further. And then join you here and read something to you.”

 

“You are really going to do that?” Nick asks, eyes wide in hopeful expectation.

 

“I asked you what you would like, didn’t I?” Sean explains calmly. “You gave me an honest answer, and this is quite easy to fulfill. You didn’t ask me to strip for you.”

 

Nick giggles. “Didn’t know this was an option.”

 

Sean smirks. “It’s definitely not an option. For now.”

 

“So, for later… it is?”

 

Sean raises one of his eyebrows. “Do you want me to read something to you now or do you prefer it to go to sleep directly?”

 

Nick pulls his blanket up to his chin, blinking up at Sean innocently. “I am going to behave,” he promises.

 

Sean blinks at Nick’s puppy eyes. “Wow,” he mutters. “You are really good at that.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

Sean is relieved to see that Nick is a lot better the next day. He is well enough to argue a bit with him when Sean tells him to stay in bed and take it slow, but apparently still a bit struck from his fever of the last nights that in the end he indeed listens.

 

To Sean’s luck there is not much work right now at the precinct, a rare opportunity if he is being honest, and he gladly let’s Hank take over a few tasks again so that he can head home earlier. This time Nick apparently listened to his words and didn’t deem it necessary to clean up or do something similarly reckless.

 

At least it _seems_ like it. Sean chuckles softly. He knows better.

 

“I was good,” Nick tells him with wide-opened eyes. When Sean crosses his arms in front of his body, he blushes slightly. “Mostly.”

 

“Spill it,” Sean orders. “I am a police captain, I know when someone hides something.”

 

“I just retrieved a package from outside. The postman put it in front of the door, and it was raining...” Nick fidgets around nervously. “So I went to retrieve it.”

 

“Let me guess, you didn’t put on a jacket while doing so?”

 

Nick shakes his head meekly.

 

“And then?” Sean asks further.

 

“I warmed myself up again,” Nick says proudly.

 

“As relieved as I am that you are catching up on the basics of taking care of your health, this is definitely not something to be proud of,” Sean frowns. “What else?”

 

“I planned on cooking something for us,” Nick admits. “But then figured you would be mad at me if I did.”

 

“You...what?” Sean sighs deeply. “At least your survival instincts kicked in in time, Nicholas. Because you are right, I wouldn’t have been happy if you did something alike.” He looks at Nick with what he hopes is a steely glare. “You are the worst sick person on the planet. Now keep it low and behave while I prepare some food.”

 

He lets Nick dwell on his thoughts a bit while he cooks them some rice with vegetables, before he decides to release his partner from his worries by approaching him again. “So, does my difficult sick patient feel like eating something?”

 

Nick smiles in relief. “You are not angry?”

 

“No,” Sean smirks. “But I thought a little bit of punishment for pushing me so much would be necessary.”

 

Nick smiles warmly. “You didn’t punish me at all.”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “Would you prefer if I did?”

 

Nick shakes his head. To Sean’s surprise he suddenly takes his hand. “Thank you,” Nick says while blushing deeply. “For your patience,” he continues. “And your kindness. I know I am difficult and all...”

 

“I tell you something Nicholas,” Sean sits down next to his young Sub, carefully brushing his bangs aside. “You always think that you are so difficult and such a bother, but you aren’t. And if I am being honest, I am pretty complicated too. I don’t trust easily, I don’t like to show my emotions. So maybe I should also thank you for being so patient with me.”

 

Nick shakes his head, but his eyes gleam in a way they never did before. He looks sincerely happy and surprised and proud.

 

He really Nick, Sean realizes. It’s unusual for him, but he does. Nick touches something deep inside him, something he forgot he even has. It’s not just that he wants to protect him because he is his Dom and has to make sure he is safe. He wants to hold him in his arms, and he wants Nick to want it too.

 

He wonders if Nick even feels remotely similar, or if he just feels safe and protected with Sean. Even the latter would already be a major progress, but Sean can’t help but want more.

 

Nick sleeps in his own room this night. For a moment it seems like he wants to say something, maybe ask if he could stay with Sean, but he doesn’t. And Sean isn’t certain enough if it’s what Nick really wants, so he doesn’t ask either.

 

He sighs. He doesn't know himself so insecure… He normally just goes and gets what he wants. But in this case he can’t do the usual. He can’t just ask Nick if he wants to join him in bed, because he knows Nick would say yes, and he wouldn’t be able to tell if Nick truly wants it or if he just said yes because he was taught to always please his Dom.

 

It takes him a while to be able to lie down in his bed and feel relaxed. He indeed sleeps better when Nick is lying next to him. His thoughts are complicated enough tonight to keep him awake for a while, until he falls into a very light and restless sleep. This is until he wakes up to hollow noises coming from downstairs.

 

Sean is awake instantly. He wasn’t asleep deep enough anyways, and this time his senses are awake enough from the first moment on that he notices the slight noises as something he knows all too well.

 

Can’t be. He frowns, before grabbing his morning robe and slipping into it. With that he silently walks downstairs.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“Nicholas,” Sean switches on the light of the library. “What are you doing here? Is this a new habit that I find you roaming around the apartment at night?”

 

Nick looks up at his Dom in shock before his gaze shifts down to the ground nervously. Sean doesn’t look happy. He is probably mad at him for not resting like he should, and for creating a mess in the library.

 

“Words,” Sean steps closer, kneeling down a bit to be closer to Nick. “Use words, Nicholas.” His gaze wanders over the books in front of Nick. “You have been reading.”

 

“More like studying,” Nick finally dares to admit. “So I thought… you know… learn a bit German… and other things… to understand my heritage.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Sean comments, before his gaze gets harder again. “But not at 2 AM, especially after you were not feeling well for two days straight. Have you forgotten what I told you yesterday?”

 

Nick looks down at his fingers. “You said I should rest properly.”

 

“And did you do that?”

 

Nick shakes his head. “But I promise, I do feel well again.” Thanks to his Grimm-healing-powers, as he calls them. He steals a gaze at Sean. He doesn’t look incredibly mad, but he isn’t happy either.

 

“Did something happen?” Sean wants to know.

 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Nick admits honestly, feeling that honesty might be the only thing not to get him into too much trouble. “I...I couldn’t fall asleep, I was so restless...and I don’t know… Once I did, I had a nightmare.” he looks down to this fingers. “A very bad one,” he adds quietly.

 

Sean’s expression softens a bit. He almost looks like he understands, like he knows, much to Nick’s surprise. He sits down next to Nick now. “And you thought studying German will help you with falling asleep?” he asks, a hint of teasing in his voice. “Not a bad strategy.”

 

“It’s distracting,” Nick explains, slowly feeling hopeful again at the lighter tone Sean just used.

 

“You have these nightmares a lot?” Sean inquires.

 

Nick nods. “Yes, Sir.” Almost every night, he thinks. It haunts him. Sometimes he dreams he has to go back, leave Sean and his new home and go back to where he came from. These are the worst dreams, they are dark and hopeless and sad. A shiver runs down his spine.

 

He feels Sean’s warm hand against his back, pulling him back into reality.

 

“I am sorry,” Nick breaths out.

 

“It’s alright,” Sean’s voice is quiet and soothing. “Take your time.” He rubs over Nick’s back softly until Nick’s breathing is normal again.

 

They both stay silent for a while.

 

“Okay, I tell you something. You can read and study all you want.” Sean says, his hand moves up a bit, massaging Nick’s neck softly. “But at 2AM you need to sleep. From now on if you can’t, wake me up instead and I’ll help you. Am I being clear?”

 

Nick nods.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “Words, Nicholas. Am I being clear?”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Are you still...” Nick looks at him nervously. “Mad at me?”

 

“Do I look mad?” Sean asks in return.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Sean sighs. “I’m not mad, Nicholas.”

 

Nick nods carefully.

 

“Let’s go to bed,” Sean orders. “Come on, Nick.”

 

Nick feels something warm spread in his chest when Sean finally uses his nickname. The feeling grows when he suddenly realizes that Sean hasn’t pushed him into talking about his nightmare. “Sean?”

 

“Yes, mon faon?”

 

“Shouldn’t I clean up first?”

 

“No. Let’s leave it for tomorrow,” Sean says.

 

“For tomorrow?” Nick blinks.

 

“It’s Saturday tomorrow. I can help you with your German.”

 

Nick’s eyes grow wide. “Really? Isn’t it bothersome to teach me?”

 

“Not at all.” Sean answers calmly. “You have a pretty smart head on your shoulders and I like to spend time with you.”

 

“And about the other stuff?” Nick asks. “The Grimm stuff?”

 

Sean looks at him for a while before he cracks a grin. “Nick, are you trying to win time so that you won’t have to go to bed? Or is there another reason we still didn’t move an inch towards your bedroom?”

 

Nick stares at him horrified for being caught, not that his questions weren’t burning inside him, but he could have asked them tomorrow morning.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows.

 

“Did it work?” Nick wants to know.

 

Sean laughs slightly. He doesn’t laugh very often. Sebastien once told him that he didn’t have much to laugh about when he grew up and that he had learned to keep his emotions in check, so that he won’t be an easy target for his enemies.

 

Seeing Sean like this, laughing, makes Nick’s heart skip a beat. He acts without thinking, wraps his arms around Sean’s waist and hugs him tight. For a moment he is scared he did something wrong, but then he feels Sean’s hands against his back, pulling him closer.

 

Nick leans against Sean’s chest, looking up at him with a genuine smile. He reaches out his hands to grab Sean’s face. He wonders if he is being too bold now, but his instincts just take over. He not only wants to be good for his Dom, he wants to be held and feel Sean and- “No one will interrupt us this time,” he mutters, something inside him turning and churning in nervousness. What if Sean won’t understand? What if he doesn’t… want to?

 

But Sean gladly doesn’t disappoint him, he leans forward, capturing his lips immediately. His hand moves from Nick’s back up to his neck, pulling him even closer. Nick parts his lips willingly, allowing Sean’s tongue to slip in. He isn’t sure if he does everything right, but it feels so good. It’s a tentative kiss, soft and warm, and something in Nick’s stomach tugs and jumps in excitement. He feels so happy.

 

“You are a minx, Nicholas,” Sean comments in amusement when they draw apart. “Who would have thought that?”

 

Nick smiles slightly. “Can I…. sleep in your room?”

 

Sean looks at him. “You want to swap rooms?” he asks, thoughtfully.

 

“No!” Nick blurts out, blushing. “I meant with you in there.”

 

Sean smiles. “I see. I would be very happy if you joined me.”

 

“And about what I asked before?” Nick wants to know.

 

“I’ve already talked to Monroe. He has plenty of additional books you will be interested in. Whenever I have Wesen cases I will let the both of you do some research on them. And now-” He bends forward, placing a hand on Nick’s shoulders. “If you aren’t in my bed until I count to ten, I will drag you there, put you over my knee, smack your beautiful delicate butt and personally make sure you compensate your lack of sleep by staying in bed until tomorrow lunch.”

 

No way he is going to miss half a day with Sean!

 

“One.”

 

“I’m going,” Nick says immediately, hurrying towards Sean’s room. “And you?”

 

“I’m right there,” Sean’s lips tug into an amused smile while he raises his hand showing Nick four fingers. Nick doesn’t bother to ask if he just counted to four or if four is the leftover number.

 

He slips into Sean’s room, crawling into his bed. It’s really huge, he notes contently. Sean doesn’t repeat his threat, he also doesn’t smack him. So Nick assumes he made it in time. He feels the bed dip slightly when Sean lies down next to him. For a moment Nick wonders if it would be too bold to snuggle against him, but Sean beats him to it by wrapping an arm around him and pulling him closer. He presses a soft kiss against his temples and smiles slightly.

 

He decides to push his luck a bit. “Sean, I have a question.”

 

“Does your question have anything to do with not being able to sleep?”

 

“No,” Nick answers surprised.

 

“Are you feeling unwell?”

 

“No.”

 

Nick yelps in surprise when he feels a sudden sharp slap against his butt. “Do you want me to continue counting or put you over my knee?”

 

“No.” Nick wants to move a hand down to his butt to rub the spot Sean just smacked, but Sean catches his wrist, preventing him from soothing his skin.

 

“Then you know my answer,” Sean says, a hint of amusement in his voice, and something else which sends a shiver down Nick’s spine. He is not messing around, he knows that. And despite having wondered about the strength of Sean’s hands, he really doesn’t want to get spanked right here, right now.

 

Nick takes a careful breath, taking in the scent of his Dom. He can get used to that, he thinks. It feels good. And safe. Who would have thought he would start falling for the man he didn’t even know before he married him. “Sean?”

 

“Seriously, Nicholas?” Sean asks, and Nick can almost see his frown through the darkness.

 

“I want to tell you something,” Nick mutters. “It’s important, but it’s not easy to say… and I figured...”

 

Sean stays quiet, but his fingers proceed to brush over his arms. “What do you want to tell me?”

 

“I am not scared of you,” Nick admits quietly, remembering the talk he had with Monroe and Rosalee. He isn’t sure how to say it and how to make Sean trust his words, but he figures now is the perfect moment to be honest. “I know you are my Dom. You don’t need to be so lenient towards me because you think I am traumatized. I can’t tell you how I will react if you punish me, I don’t know how fast I will drop… but I know I trust you.” He pauses. “I am not scared of you,” he repeats.

 

Sean stays quiet for a while but then Nick suddenly feels his body shift slightly. Nick turns to the side, eyeing Sean’s silhouette. “I’m quite strong, Nicholas. And you are traumatized. It’s not just hypothetical.”

 

“Yes, maybe, but I am also a Sub.” Nick pauses. “It’s in my nature. You don’t need to wear velvet gloves when you handle me. Actually I don’t want that.”

 

“What if you panic when I punish you?”

 

Nick shrugs. “Might happen, so what?” He reaches out his hand to touch Sean’s face. He accidentally meets his chin first, before he moves upwards. Sean chuckles softly, but other than that let’s Nick do how he pleases. “Sean, I’m submissive,” Nick states. “I am a Sub. I submit. I do wrong, you punish me. It’s that simple, and I like it to be that simple. I am not scared. If I drop when you punish me, or panic, I trust you to handle the situation. I trust you.”

 

Sean doesn’t say anything, but then Nick feels his lips being pressed against his forehead. “Alright, dear,” Sean says. His voice sounds hoarse but also relieved. “Now sleep.”

 

Nick smiles.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“It smells like coffee,” Nick sighs happily.

 

Sean holds out a cup to him. When Nick is about to grab it, he feels how Sean takes him by his wrist instead and pulls him closer into a kiss. Nick is surprised first, but recovers fast, wrapping his arms around Sean’s neck. He has to stand on his tiptoes to even reach Sean properly, jeez. He can feel how Sean’s hand sneaks behind his back, and suddenly he is pulled even closer. Fuck, he probably sucks at this, but Sean is still kissing him, so he seems to be doing okay.

 

Sean smirks against his lips. “Are you thinking too much… again?”

 

“Well...” Nick mutters. “You are ridiculously tall, you know?”

 

One of Sean’s eyebrows pops up. “Is that so?”

 

Nick grins. God, he is hot. He grabs Sean by his tie, deciding to freaking forget his annoying insecurities for once and pull him down, smashing their lips together. It’s different this time, he can feel it in the way Sean’s tongue demands entrance immediately, how he is bolder and more demanding. Nick feels how his head is getting lighter from lack of oxygen, but doesn’t care at the same time, because he is so freaking turned on. He follows Sean’s pace, letting him set their rhythm.

 

Sean turns them over swiftly, pressing Nick against the wall. And then Nick feels warm fingers slipping beneath his shirt. Hands brush over the skin of his back softly. He wonders if he should touch Sean, any part of Sean, but then decides to trust Sean in setting a pace which won’t overstrain him.

 

He lets his head drop back a bit, allowing Sean to kiss the tender skin his neck. Sean keeps his hands against Nick’s back, his lips going from his neck up to his lips again.

 

Nick feels breathless when they finally draw apart.

 

“And here I thought you would be waiting for me with a cup of coffee and a German lecture,” Nick grins.

 

Sean’s lips curl into a smirk. “Don’t think I forgot that.”

 

“Oh, I know you wouldn’t,” Nick sighs dramatically. “I knew you would like to lecture me.”

 

Sean smacks him playfully, making Nick laugh slightly.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

“How come you know so many languages?” Nick asks while he goes through the German grammar exercise Sean prepared for him. To his surprise Sean is a pretty good teacher. He is teasing him sometimes, and he is demanding, he makes Nick repeat tasks when he doesn’t do them right. A pretty stern teacher, as it was expected, if he is being honest, but he isn’t pushing him too much. It seems like he believes Nick is capable of a lot. And Nick kind of likes the faith he has in him.

 

“Concentrate on your work instead of asking so many questions,” Sean answers with a deadpan expression. “You started well,” he points at the paper. “But look here, you lost your concentration and are making unnecessary mistakes.”

 

Nick sighs slightly. “You are pretty strict, you know that? What happened to the carrot and stick approach?”

 

“Oh,” Sean smirks. “You want me to whip you for mistakes? We could do that too~”

 

“No way,” Nick hurries to reassure him. “I wouldn’t be able to sit for days. I suck at languages.”

 

“No you don’t.” Sean shakes his head. “German is a difficult language. Don’t lose your confidence right at the beginning. You are a pretty fast learner.”

 

“Am I?” Nick asks, feeling his motivation returning. He takes the sheet of paper. “Let me try this again.”

 

Sean smiles slightly and lets him proceed. Nick is so into his new task that he doesn’t realize how fast the time runs by. At one point Meisner drops by, and Nick hardly realizes his presence. He came to discuss something with Sean anyway.

 

“Hey Nick,” Meisner approaches him when he and Sean are finished.

 

Nick looks up. “Hello,” he answers politely.

 

“Did you recover from our training?” Meisner asks with a smile.

 

Nick narrows his eyes. Way to remind him of his defeat last time. “It wasn’t that bad,” he argues. “I wasn’t feeling that unwell afterwards.” He skillfully ignores the look Sean is throwing him, eyebrows raised.

 

“I didn’t mean to mock you,” Meisner says surprisingly soft. “I am just bad at small talk.”

 

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Sean comments dryly.

 

Nick sighs slightly, before manning it up. “I am sorry, I didn’t want to jump right into your face. I know you sacrifice a lot of time for training me.” He points at the book in front of him. “I blame my mood on this here.”

 

Sean smiles approvingly, apparently he likes the fact that Nick so readily apologized without being prompted to do so.

 

“What’s with your case system anyway? Who is supposed to even remotely understand that?” Nick looks at Meisner accusingly.

 

“I’m sorry?” Meisner offers, slightly confused.

 

“Nicholas is studying German,” Sean says. “He thinks it would be a good idea to understand his Grimm background and the Wesen world.”

 

Nick is embarrassed to realize the joy he feels once he fathoms the pride in Sean’s voice. It makes him feel so happy.

 

“I see,” Meisner nods contently. “Not a bad idea, Nick. It will definitely come to your advantage at one point.” He smiles slightly. “So, I will see you next week, right?”

 

Nick nods firmly. He is so ready to strike back. This time he won’t allow Meisner to kick him around. Meisner seems to realize he is ready to kick butt, because he just nods contently. “I will call you later, maybe tomorrow to set a date.” He pauses. “You look a bit tired right now.”

 

“Yes,” Sean nods. “Someone is definitely going to take a rest now.”

 

“What?” Nick’s head snaps up.

 

When Sean just raises his eyebrows warningly, Nick feels a well-known feeling in his stomach, a puddle of strings of nerves deep inside him. Anxiousness and expectation. Like riding a roller-coaster.

 

Nick doesn’t challenge Sean any further though, for one he first needs to get down to this new feeling he is experiencing, second he is smart enough to know not to challenge Sean in front of Meisner – He is sure Sean will go through with his threat of the previous night and discipline him right on the spot, with Meisner watching or not. And third… he is feeling incredibly tired indeed.

 

“Will you wake me up?” Nick asks carefully.

 

“Yes, in around an hour.”

 

Nick nods tentatively, but weirdly enough he can’t let it go yet. “Aren’t you going to set an alarm?” he mutters, suddenly feeling nervous. “Not that I sleep in and miss too much time… or you know… you forget I’m here...”

 

Nick doesn’t know why he suddenly feels that stressed. It’s ridiculous. Sean sensed it too, it seems, because he just nods towards Meisner and lets him leave on his own, before he steps closer, putting a hand against Nick’s back. “I’m not going to forget you, that’s a promise. Don’t be afraid to sleep.”

 

Nick nods quietly, allowing Sean to pull him towards the sofa in the living room, and lies down there. He feels already the darkness of his sleep pulling him in when Sean covers him with a blanket.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick has slept for an hour straight, maybe even a bit longer. Sean glances at his watch. He promised to wake Nick up, a thoughtless promise, he realizes now, because he doesn’t want to disturb him in his sleep either, especially considering he doesn’t sleep much anyways.

 

Sean is still pondering what to do, when he sees Nick move slightly. He shifts around and for a moment Sean thinks he is waking up by himself. But unfortunately he doesn’t. He shivers all of a sudden, hands balling into fists while his movements become more stressed.

 

Sean is up his feet immediately, swiftly approaching his mate. “Nicholas.”

 

He has no experience how to handle people when they face nightmares, but he figures no matter what, trying to wake Nick up from it has top priority. Nick’s trashing around now, gasping for air, sweat forming on his forehead.

 

“Nicholas!” Sean grabs him by his shoulders, careful not to hurt him. “Nick, it’s me, Sean. You are safe.”

 

“No...” Nick mutters in his sleep, before he starts to sob. “Don’t… I will be good.”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean says with insistence, louder this time when he sees how Nick is digging his nails into his forearms. Sean dabs his cheek, lightly first, harder the second time.

 

Nick’s eyes snap open, pupils dilated, his gaze seems unfocused. Sean catches his face between his hands. “Nick, look at me. Look at me!”

 

Nick’s eyes stare into his eyes, he is panting heavily. “Sean...”

 

Sean brushes with his thumbs over his cheeks. “It’s okay, Nick, it’s just me. Nothing bad happened. You had a dream.”

 

Nick nods weakly, his hand clasping onto Sean’s shirt. Sean pulls him in a hug, feeling how Nick’s body shivers slightly. He isn’t sure if he is crying or not, but he figures Nick probably doesn't want him to know, so he just keeps brushing over his back soothingly, whispering words of comfort to him.

 

 

 

 

“Here you go,” Sean places a cup with hot chocolate in front of him. “And just so you know, I had Sebastien bring me marshmallows to make this here perfect.”

 

Nick blushes. “I am sorry,” he mutters, and he is all shy again, almost like at the beginning of their marriage.

 

“There is nothing to apologize for,” Sean states.

 

“But I shouldn’t have these nightmares,” Nick blurts out. “I am with you now, and I am happy. I have never felt that safe before.”

 

“Okay, slip over,” Sean waits for Nick to make place for him on the sofa, before he sits down and pulls his young Sub into his arms. “I am happy that you feel that way, Nicholas. But unfortunately a trauma doesn’t work that way.”

 

“I know,” Nick huffs, frustrated. “I know. But I just want it to go away. I don’t want to dream of all that shit anymore. I want to dream happy stuff. All you do is helping me, and I can’t do anything in return.”

 

Sean takes Nick’s hand into his, rubbing over it with his thumb. “I sleep better when you are with me,” he states calmly. When Nick looks at him in surprise, he continues honestly. “I tend to bottle all my emotions up so that I won’t show them, because it makes me look weak. I tend to get obsessed with controlling my surroundings. I would rather die than to show any weakness. In moments like these when things are about to suffocate me I will need you. You will be the only one to help me out of my own mind-space then. Only you can do it, because you are my Sub.”

 

Nick looks at him for a long while. Sean takes a wild guess, but he probably wants to know if Sean is just trying to comfort him or being honest. “I am many things, Nicholas, calculating, controlling, maybe even manipulative. But I am not a liar. When I say something so out of the ordinary and emotional, be sure I am not lying.”

 

A careful smile appears on Nick’s lips. “I will help you, without any hesitation. Of course I would. The moment I realize something is wrong, I would immediately be there for you,” Nick says with conviction. “Always.”

 

“See?” Sean smiles slightly. “And I am here for you now, when you need it.”

 

“It goes both ways?” Nick asks.

 

“It goes both ways,” Sean repeats. “I was battling a headache for weeks. You know when it went away?”

 

Nick shakes his head.

 

“When I took you down.”

 

“But I didn’t even notice!” Nick calls out, surprised.

 

“Well, you could say it’s probably my drive as a Dom to hide these things,” Sean chuckles. “This, and I am quite complicated to handle.”

 

“Maybe we need a set of rules for you too?” Nick offers with a grin. Finally a smile.

 

Sean smirks. “Oh, you would love that, wouldn’t you?”

 

“I can totally be your stress relief! You can use me to your liking when you feel stressed,” Nick offers eagerly. He sounds almost happy.

 

“We’ll see about that,” Sean doesn’t want to tell him no immediately. He doesn’t like the idea of using Nick as a stress relief, but at the same time Nick sounded so genuinely happy right now, that he decides to at least allow them both to think about it.

 

“Sean...”

 

Sean notes the shift in Nick’s tone instantly. “What do you want me to do, Nicholas?”

 

“Would you...” Nick pauses, closing his eyes slightly. “The collar?”

 

“You want me to put it on you?” Sean asks.

 

Nick nods.

 

“Anything else, Nicholas?” Sean asks, wondering if maybe Nick has a certain wish like the last time when he read something to him. But this time Nick just shakes his head, he seems to be tired, right at the brink of exhaustion.

 

Sean ponders for a while, then nods to himself. It’s worth a try. “I have some paperwork to do.” He pauses. “I want you to come with me.”

 

Nick’s instincts seem to work immediately once he uses that tone. “What am I supposed to do, Sir.”

 

“I would like it if you wore your collar for me. And kneel right next to me,” Sean whispers into his ear, noting how goosebumps appear on Nick’s arms. “Can you do that for me?”

 

He has no idea how Nick will react if he actually orders him to kneel for him. It’s an intimate thing to do, making a Sub submit to their Dom that way, making them emotionally and mentally more vulnerable than anything else could do. Sean would never tell another Sub to kneel for him.

 

But with his Sub, with Nick? It’s worth a try.

 

Nick nods his consent, eyes following every of Sean’s movements when he puts on his collar. Once he did, Nick lets out a relieved sigh. He allows Sean to take him by his wrist and lead him to his office. He didn't lie when he said he has paperwork to do. Nothing he couldn’t postpone, but it’s his perfect excuse now. He lets go of Nick’s hand and sits down on his chair. “Kneel for me,” he orders.

 

Nick nods drowsily before he gets down on his knees, right next to Sean’s chair, hands neatly folded in his lap, back straight. Sean nods contently. “Good,” he praises, his finger slipping through one of the rings of Nick’s collar and tugging him closer, careful not to hurt him by doing so.

 

Nick obliges immediately, slipping closer towards Sean until his shoulder touches Sean’s knee. Body contact, Sean figures, it’s going to be good for Nick. “Use your safe-word if you need it, Nicholas.”

 

Nick nods.

 

Sean shakes his head. “Words.”

 

He can see how Nick licks over his lips nervously. “Yes, Sir. I understand.”

 

Sean nods contently, allowing his fingers to glide through Nick’s soft and silky hair. “No talking, no moving,” he orders. He wants to allow Nick to submit completely. “Until I tell you.”

 

Nick opens his mouth, about to answer, when it apparently dawns on him that he isn’t allowed to. He nods eagerly, closing his eyes. Sean wonders what he hears now, what he concentrates on. He made Nick join him because it is a dull and plain work he is doing here. Reading through papers, signing them, writing reports. Nothing special. But he figures that Nick might exactly need the boredom of nothing special right now. The sound of his pen on the paper, the rustling of paper. It’s going to be boring, but also meditative.

 

Sometimes in between he lets his hand brush through Nick’s hair, touching his shoulder. Just a little bit of skin contact here and there, to show Nick he is still there. At one point he feels Nick’s head drop to the side a bit, suddenly resting against his knee.

 

Nick’s breath is even, his heartbeat calm. Sean smiles warmly, relieved that his approach indeed worked. He quietly puts his pen aside and gets up from his chair. Without Nick noticing it he helps him up and leads him back to the living room, making him lie down on the sofa there. He pulls a blanket over his body, hoping that this time Nick will sleep properly.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some progress in their relationship! I felt like it would be really important for Nick to initiate their first kiss, mainly because Sean is still wary what Nick truly wants. And if it's him talking or agreeing to something or the Sub, who was taught to say yes to every suggestion his Dom makes. But they kissed, finally! 
> 
> They are still in their honey moon phase, aren't they? Even when Nick kind of breaks a rule, Sean is like: What were you thinking!?... ... ... aw, but you are so sweet ♥ *LOL* 
> 
> Sean is very reluctant to discipline Nick. The reason for that will probably already be discussed in the next chapter.   
> Also at one point in the story (way further into the story, when they actually will be more confident around each other) Nick will want to be a stress relief for Sean. That's going to be quite a battle for Nick to make Sean agree on taking his stress out on his Sub. 
> 
> So, what do you think? Please tell me ♥  
> Your comments and feedback are always appreciated!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick learns that he loves to be active and work. He is growing more confident, but drops even further now when his insecurities hit him. Sean tries to deal with it as best as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nick's feelings and thoughts are a roller-coaster in this. I apologize in advance XD

Nick and Monroe have decided to follow one of Monroe’s leads. A friend of a friend apparently mentioned that there was a bunch of Klaustreichs doing shady stuff. Bud heard about it and told Monroe about it. Frankly Nick enjoys to be more active, it makes him happy that Monroe’s friends began to confide in the both of them whenever they feel something in the Wesen-world is off. He works well together with Monroe. Nick tends to be a bit reckless and wants to go into action fast, while Monroe thinks everything through first and is a bit too tentative sometimes. They complement each other well.

 

It’s all perfectly planned out. They will head to the place and do their usual research. What Nick didn’t expect though is to basically stumble into a crime scene. “Someone got killed?” Monroe asks with a frown.

 

“Seems like it,” Nick mutters. “Sebastien is here. I am sure Sean sent him to get rid of all Wesen-related traces.”

 

“I think you are right,” Monroe nods tentatively.

 

Nick nods thoughtfully, carefully walking past the scene towards Sebastien. The latter smiles at him. “Hey you two. I didn’t expect you.”

 

Nick is about to answer, when his ears suddenly catch _something_. There is the faint sound of leaves rustling, a fourth person breathing. Four. They are three. Why is there another heartbeat? “Get down!” Nick yells towards Sebastien, his eyes following a barely visible shadow about to attack from the dark.

 

Nick throws himself in between, kicking the Klaustreich before he can attack his friend. He tackles him swiftly. Easy, he thinks grimly. No one attacks his friends and family!

 

Sebastien ducks slightly, eyes widening when he sees his attacker lying on the floor. “That was fast,” he mutters, blushing slightly. “Thank you, Nick.”

 

Monroe hurries to Nick’s side, helping him securing the young man. “You have some kick-ass senses,” he says in awe. “My ears are way above average, and you heard him far before I did.”

 

Nick blinks before it dawns on him that he was just really able to act on his instincts  and actually help someone. “ Seems like I do hear quite well. Grimm-senses, I suppose,” he mutters, feeling slightly embarrassed but also happy about the praise.

 

“And now?” Monroe asks.

 

“Sean is going to come any minute,” Sebastien explains. “We can as well wait.”

 

“Do you think,” Nick looks nervous all of a sudden. “He will mind that I am here?”

 

“Why would he?”

 

“It’s his work, and he might not want me here?” Nick mutters helplessly, his heart sinking at the prospect of Sean not wanting him around.

 

Monroe sighs. “Oh Nick.”

 

“He would never think that way about you,” Sebastien says with a comforting smile. “Besides you literally just saved my life. He might be surprised to see you here, but he definitely won’t mind.” He chuckles softly. “He might fuss over you though. Doms can be busybodies when they are worried.”

 

His honest answers makes Nick crack a smile. They are, he thinks. Sebastien’s rational way of voicing his reasons helps Nick to come down from his sudden panic. Why would Sean be angry to see him? If anything he would just be worried or surprised. Normal reaction.

 

Way to be dramatic, Nick, really.

 

While waiting for Sean he helps Sebastien further check the crime scene and gets rid off a few traces the latter missed. Grimm senses are really not bad, he figures, his eyes are so sharp, and everything works so… fast. When Sean arrives they have everything wrapped up.

 

“Nick?” Sean sounds clearly surprised, but to Nick’s relief not displeased. He feels guilty now for his previous thoughts. Sean would be hurt, if he knew.

 

“Monroe and I just walked by,” Nick explains honestly. “And decided to help.”

 

Sean rests his hand against Nick’s back. “So that’s the area you were checking on the Klaustr e ichs? I should have noticed  and warned you. Did you get hurt?”

 

Monroe laughs. “Nick? Nick didn’t get hurt, but one of the Klaustreichs might have gotten some scratches.”

 

Sebastien blushes slightly. “Sorry, I wasn’t careful enough. He attacked me, and Nick saved me.”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows, throwing Nick a teasing smirk. “Found the Grimm inside you?” he says dryly, but Nick can easily hear the pride in his voice.

 

“Let’s say the Grimm jumped out of me,” Nick chuckles, relieved about Sean’s matter-of-fact approach. He doesn’t embarrass him by fussing over him, or hurt him by telling him to stay away. He just accepts that he walked by and helped and acknowledges his help. To Nick this means more than anything else. “I… I was able to control it today.” He blinks in surprise when his own words dawn on him. “Right, I controlled my senses! I didn’t even notice.”

 

“Very good, Nicholas,” Sean smiles proudly. “Your hard work is paying off.”

 

“Finally!”

 

“Meisner will be happy too,” Sebastien points out warmly.

 

“Yeah,” Nick rolls his eyes. “He might torture me even more then.”

 

Monroe snorts in amusement. “I am just glad I don’t need to train with him,” he admits.

 

Sebastien smiles apologetically. “He can be a bit intense,” he explains.

 

“Are you training with him too?” Nick asks curiously.

 

Sebastien blinks. “No. He would probably wipe the floor with me. Why are you asking?”

 

“Well, it seemed like you know his style,” Nick grins.

 

Sebastien looks slightly confused first, but then he chuckles. “Oh, because I apologized for him? Bad habit,” he explains. “I know him since ages.” He winks at Nick. “Sometimes I apologize for Sean too.”

 

“Oh,” Sean raises his eyebrows. “You do?” he deadpans.

 

Nick and Sebastien exchange a glance and chuckle, before they wisely diffuse the topic by talking about the case they stumbled into. Sean asks them to stick around for a bit longer, while he makes sure they erased all traces and thinks of a believable story and situation to present his detectives with. It’s fun, Nick figures, to work together with Sean for a change. He likes to spend time with him anytime, in private of course, going out, but this here is something else.

 

Then Sean surprised him further by asking him if he could check on a young couple related to another case and see if they are Wesen or not. “It would be important to know,” he muses. “Before I send a detective to their place.”

 

“So it’s true?” Nick asks in interest. “Wesen don’t necessarily notice each other?”

 

“That’s true,” Sean nods earnestly. “As a Grimm you can see them woge when they are nervous and stressed. So, what do you think?”

 

“I would be happy to help,” Nick beams.

 

“Thank you.” Sean pauses, his gaze shifting towards Monroe and Sebastien who are discussing something, before he nods towards Nick. “Do you have a minute?”

 

“Of course,” Nick blinks, following Sean into a more private area. He wonders what Sean wants to tell him. Hopefully he didn’t mess up anything or upset Sean. “You… you want to discuss something with me?”

 

“Yes,” Sean nods earnestly. “Could you step closer?”

 

Nick nods nervously, walking closer towards Sean. Sean takes his face between his hands and smirks slightly. “You look cute when you are so shy,” he teases before he kisses him.

 

Nick smiles against his lips. “So that’s what you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Yes, you are cute when you are shy, but also very attractive when you are confident,” Sean says in a matter-of-fact tone. “But let’s deepen this conversation later at home.”

 

Nick chuckles and nods. Sean brushes over his cheek softly before he draws back a bit and leads Nick back to the others. He exchanges a few words with Sebastien and then calls some of his detectives to join him. Nick and Monroe join Sebastien to drive away from the scene.

 

“Don’t you find it weird?” Nick muses when he is alone with Monroe again.

 

“What’s weird, Nick?”

 

“Aren’t there a lot of Wesen-related incidents recently?” Nick asks thoughtfully. “I mean, I know I am only in Portland since a few months, but I feel like there are way more incidents than, let’s say, two months ago.”

 

“You think so?” Monroe muses. “It might just be a coincidence,” he states. “Don’t forget that you are a Grimm, you might be more sensitive to these issues.”

 

Nick sighs slightly. “I am probably just being a bit silly, sorry.”

 

“You are not silly,” Monroe pats his shoulder. “Just easily worried. Let’s check on that couple the captain was talking about, and then finally eat something. I am starving. And you wouldn’t want to hang out with a grumpy wolf.”

 

Nick chuckles, the weird sense of foreshadowing suddenly gone again. He is probably just being a bit too sensitive lately, Monroe is right.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick has been thinking, a lot. He realizes that Sean was right when he told him to look for something he would like to do. At the beginning Nick thought it would be unnecessary, because he is a Sub and he has a Dom to please, but now, the more he is with Sean, the more he realizes that it’s okay to have dreams and to be ambitions… and to want things. He is his own person, and he needs a task.

 

Of course he can meet Monroe and train with Meisner, he does all that, but he seriously needs… something to do on a regular basis. But working together with Sean – if only for a short moment – just showed him that he wants and needs more than just leisure activities. He did something useful, Nick thinks, something really useful. He was able to help Sean and save one of his friends. It’s the first time in his life that he actually feels like his existence means more than just being a Sub.

 

His phone pulls him out of his thoughts. It’s Sean’s mother. Nick takes a deep breath, manning it up before answering the phone. He is still a bit scared of her. It’s his mother-in-law, who wouldn’t be scared!? “Hello?”

 

“Oh, hello Nick,” she says, voice friendly.

 

“I am sorry, mam,” Nick says politely. “But Sean is not here.”

 

“Oh, I didn’t want to talk to Sean,” she chuckles. “I know better than to bother my son when he is at work, but I figured I could bother you. Do you mind?”

 

Nick is more than a little surprise. “Not at all. Can I help?”

 

“Yes, actually you can,” she states bluntly. “I am re-decorating my apartment and I wondered if you could help with choosing my furniture.”

 

Nick beams happily. Something to do! “I could help,” he offers. “If you want to I could build it together immediately, mam.”

 

“Elizabeth. Or do you want me to feel ancient by always calling me mam?” She laughs slightly, clearly amused.

 

Nick can’t help but smile. “I am sorry, Elizabeth, I would happily help.”

 

He spends the whole day at his mother-in-law’s place. She already knew what to buy and especially where, so they finished shopping pretty fast. The rest of the time he put everything together for her, feeling weirdly fulfilled by being able to work, especially with his hands.

 

“Nicholas,” she smiles apologetically. “Now you did everything. That’s not been the plan.”

 

Nick grins. “So there was a plan?”

 

“Yes, of course,” she smirks. “Hexenbiests are sly, didn’t you know that?”

 

“Sean said something alike,” he admits.

 

“Oh,” she chuckles. “I am sure he did.”

 

“You have such a good relationship with him,” Nick smiles warmly. “He seems to really respect you.”

 

“My,” she says in amusement. “Are you trying to make me blush because it’s working quite well.”

 

Nick shakes his head, blushing himself now. “No, that’s not been my intention… not at all. Really! I promise-”

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she laughs slightly. “Don’t let us tease you so much,” she says. “You are such an easy victim, honey.”

 

“I know,” Nick sighs dramatically. “Sean says the same.”

 

“On the other side, Sean and I are probably master-teasers,” she admits, still sounding amused.

 

Nick has to grin. “Sean certainly is.”

 

“Don’t let him tease you too much~”

 

Nick blushes at the implication in her words. He wishes Sean would actually tease him… that way. His own thoughts make him blush further. To his surprise though Elizabeth doesn’t comment on his reaction, she didn’t notice anything at all. He tilts his head slightly. She called herself sly, didn’t she? While she probably isn’t really sly, she is… a bit calculating. She most likely wanted to test how he feels about Sean. Nick sighs, of course his face gave his feelings away.

 

He really longs for Sean to touch him. At the same time he doesn’t want to sound like a spoiled or impatient brat, because they did kiss after all. And they kissed again. And again. And he loves it.

 

“Don’t scare away from being bold,” Elizabeth says all of a sudden. “Many Doms like their Subs being… demanding in certain occasions.” She pauses again. “You set the pace. Sean will act on it.”

 

Again her words don’t leave any room for suggestions and interpretations, it’s pretty clear what she is talking about. Nick is so thankful for her useful advice he even forgets to be embarrassed about his freaking mother-in-law advising him on...sex.

 

It does strike something in him though. Maybe he should talk to someone else about this too… just to get some more ideas, to understand certain things, to understand Doms. He grew up believing that he would need to please his Dom in all areas, also in bed. To have Sean actually take his feelings and wishes into account came as a major surprise to him. He figures he doesn’t know anything about the real word at all. He needs someone to talk to. It can’t be Elizabeth obviously as she is Sean’s mother, and it can’t be Sean.

 

Meisner? Ugh, no. Nick feels he would make him train extra-hard if he came with such stupid questions. And his muscles still feel sore from yesterday’s training.

 

Monroe? He really trust him, but to him Monroe is a bit like the older brother he never had. Talking about intimate things… too embarrassing… but still a better option than Meisner.

 

Or Rosalee? She is a Sub too…

 

Nick decides to do what he normally does: delay the problem to later and hopefully forget to think about it.

 

 

~~~

 

 

_Hey Nick, when are you going to be home? I will leave briefly and buy something for us to eat._

 

Nick is on his way home when he reads Sean’s message. His heart stops beating for a moment, for a long moment, he is sure it skipped a few beats. How is he still alive!?

 

Shit! Sean is at home? And Nick isn’t? His Dom is home before he is!? It can’t be! On top of that he just met his mother… the whole day.

 

He neglected his Dom. Bad Sub.

 

He is so bad. Shit. Sean will hate him for it, Sean will be so mad.

 

Nick feels sick to his stomach. He lets his phone drop into his bag, deciding to just run home and pretend he didn’t read anything. He can’t let his Dom down like that. He needs to be there for him, that’s the only job he has, yet he messes up. Why can’t he do anything right?

 

To his horror he meets Sean right at the doorway, his husband is carrying a bag in his hand, apparently the promised food.

 

“Here you are,” Sean states, while he lets them both in. Nick doesn’t know if he is mad or not. He wasn’t home in time, he should have been. Home before his Dom. That’s basic knowledge he was taught when he was just a kid. Don’t let your Dom wait for you!

 

How could he!? It’s not that difficult, Nick!

 

Stupid.

 

“Nicholas,” Sean eyes him thoughtfully while he puts the bag aside. “You look… off. I saw that you read my message. Why didn’t you answer? Did something happen?”

 

“No,” Nick blurts out. When Sean throws him a surprised glance, he feels his panic rise further. “I...I couldn’t.”

 

“Is your phone broken?” Sean frowns. “If yes, we need to get it to-”

 

“No,” Nick blurts out once again.

 

“Nicholas, why don’t you just talk to me and tell me what you think. I-”

 

“What would you know!?” Nick huffs, the moment he said it he feels like the biggest failure ever. How could he be so stupid and yell at his Dom?

 

Sean looks serious all of a sudden, more serious than he ever did probably. Or maybe it’s just Nick’s oversensitive perception at the moment. He doesn’t know. He just knows he yelled at his Dom.

 

“I generally don’t like to be yelled at,” Sean points out. Nick is too out of it to notice that he doesn’t even sound truly angry, slightly irritated maybe, but not angry. Rather worried. “Frankly, I hardly yell myself.”

 

Nick’s thoughts are a roller-coaster, he realizes it himself, but he just can’t stop the maelstrom of his thoughts. It’s like his body and mind separated themselves completely. “You are a Dom,” he blurts out. “What’s going on in my head!? You can’t know! You won’t understand! Why don’t you leave me alone. Leave me alone. Fuck you. I… I don’t know...”

 

“Fine,” Sean says with finality in his voice, and it makes Nick shut up immediately. Sean lets out a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, and suddenly Nick feels nervous. He has that certain look in his eyes, it’s hard to the tell what he thinks or feels. Sean nods towards the left living room corner. “Go there, turn around to face the wall.”

 

Nick feels surprised for a moment. He knows it’s not quite Sean’s style to punish that way, the more he is surprised by this approach. “But-”

 

“No, we are not discussing this,” Sean interrupts him. Nick wonders how he can still sound so calm. Before Sean he has just known Doms who would get furious and yell. “Go there and do what I told you.”

 

Nick nods meekly, doing as Sean told him. It feels a bit confusing, surprisingly so, but also weirdly… intimate.

 

“Good,” Sean seems to be at least a bit content. “Hands on top of your head.” he waits for Nick to follow his orders, before he continues. “Stay there until I tell you to move.”

 

Nick does, waits. It feels weird first, embarrassing, nerve-wracking even. There is so much running through his mind. He wants to say all of it, but he doesn’t know how and what… even if he were allowed to talk. In the distance he can hear Sean working in the kitchen, he seems to be cutting something. Nick looks at the wall in front of him, the white of it albeit boring, also unexpectedly calming.

 

The only thing forcing him to stay in reality is the fact that his arms are feeling heavy. He concentrates on his heartbeat for a moment, noting how his blood doesn’t seem to rush anymore, his thoughts are still complicated but not swirling around in his head.

 

He blushes. Sean knows him way too well, it seems.

 

“Nick,” Sean’s hand touches his shoulder carefully.

 

Nick is surprised to see Sean right behind him. When did he come here? He can’t even remember. Nick looks at him, embarrassed for his earlier outburst. He can’t even remember what he was freaking out about anymore. It feels so silly now. “I am so sorry,” he says quietly.

 

Sean takes his hand. “Come,” he says with a smile. It breaks through his controlled features like the sun breaking through the clouds. Nick loves it when emotions are mirrored in Sean’s eyes and expression. Jeez, he has it bad.

 

Sean’s finger brushes over Nick’s cheek.

 

“I am sorry,” Nick says sincerely. “I, I was so,” he pauses. “Confused.”

 

“I know.” Sean pulls him into his arms. “It’s okay. Are you ready to talk to me now?”

 

Nick sighs, allowing himself to snuggle into Sean’s arm, taking a few careful breaths. Now that his tension wore off, he feels so tired. He takes Sean’s hand and leads him to the sofa.

 

“Nick,” Sean states earnestly. “I know something is off. It was obvious from the first moment on. You came running towards the door, you looked at me like you were terrified. Can’t you see how awful you feel every time you beat yourself up over something? If you just talked to me from the first moment on, you wouldn’t have worked yourself up into a little panic attack.”

 

Nick rubs his temples thoughtfully, his head is hurting slightly. He almost worked himself into a migraine it seems. He relaxes though when he feels Sean’s finger brushing through his hair. “I am sorry,” he repeats.

 

“How often do you want to apologize? It’s not necessary.”

 

“Please just accept it,” Nick begs.

 

Sean stays quiet for a while, then Nick can feel him move slightly. “Alright. I accept your apology.” His voice sounds hoarser than usual, Nick figures he sounds sad. “I really want to help you.”

 

“You _are_ helping,” Nick admits, probably realizing for the first time how lucky he is to be with someone like Sean. If Sean were less experienced, he probably wouldn’t have known how to handle Nick when he was close to a drop or close to a panic attack… or close to anything, really. Another Dom might have whipped him immediately without trying to get to the core of the problem. If Nick is being honest, he isn’t sure if he would have been able to take a spanking in this confused mind he was in. Sean knows the signs, he can read them, and he puts effort into understanding them. The last thought in particular warms Nick’s chest, and it makes him feel horrible at the same. “You _are_ helping,” he repeats. “The white of the wall was almost… meditative. Which doesn’t mean I want to look at it every day.”

 

“Good, now it’s your turn to be honest with me,” Sean prompts him earnestly.

 

“I forgot to check the time,” Nick admits quietly.

 

“The time… as in you didn’t know what time it was?” Sean asks.

 

“I… your mother called me this morning and asked for help. Well, she didn’t ask for help directly, but I ended up offering it anyways.”

 

“Yeah,” Sean snorts in fake amusement. “That sounds like my mother. What else? My mother lured you to help her with-” He sighs. “With her furniture. Of course.”

 

Nick nods. “So I helped her, and it was fun and all. And she was nice, but I forgot that she is your mother, and I should have told you that I meet her, because you might have been against it. I even left the house on my own. And on top of that you came home before me. I should have been home to welcome you.”

 

Sean stays quiet, but keeps brushing through Nick’s hair. Seems like he is not mad. Or he just hides it well. Or- “Nicholas.” Sean draws back a bit, lifting Nick’s chin to make him look at him. “I don’t know where to start. I know you have these old-fashioned views on Doms...” His voice trails off.

 

“Please don’t laugh about me,” Nick begs.

 

“I am not laughing,” Sean answers earnestly. “In fact I don’t find it funny at all. I am just trying to wrap my mind around your… your approach to our relationship or rather the role you were apparently taught to take on. Listen, Nick, I would never control you or your life like that.”

 

“Yes, I know,” Nick stutters. “But it’s not okay to let your Dom wait for you.”

 

“Nicholas,” Sean repeats again. “Can you even hear what you are saying? Why would I prevent you from seeing my mother? Why shouldn’t you be allowed to spend the day outside? You are free to meet friends without telling me every of your steps. Of course,” he pauses. “Of course it would have been nice to tell me that you are out the whole day, in case something happens, because that’s what partners do. It has nothing to do with being a Sub. Or a Dom. We simply inform each other. My mother, Monroe, Meisner, Sebastien, even Bud, they are safe territory. Meet them as much as you want. Make friends. I don’t keep tabs on you, you are not my possession. If you worked, you might not have been home at that time either.” He pauses.“If you stayed away half of the night without telling me, then you would have been in troubles with me, but not because you hang out with my mother and helped her with her annoying new furniture.” He smiles. “She just wanted an excuse to invite you over anyways to talk to you. She is complicated like that.”

 

“I...” Nick lets his words sink in for a moment, feeling silly all of a sudden. Why did he panic like that? He should have just answered Sean’s message, come home and discuss this with him. Nothing would have happened. “I don’t know why I reacted so off. It was totally uncalled for,” he admits.

 

Sean looks at him, and for a moment Nick thinks he will say something, but to his surprise he doesn’t. “Let’s not talk about this anymore,” he says instead. “Next time you will try to talk to me, alright?”

 

Nick nods immediately.

 

Sean pulls him closer, leans forward and nips at Nick’s neck sharply. Nick lets out a surprised gasp, closing his eyes when he feels Sean’s tongue and lips licking and sucking at the sensitive skin there. “It’s...” he stutters, but can’t quite help the jolts of excitement spreading through his body. “-going to leave marks.”

 

“Oh, it sure will.” Sean smirks against his skin. “Fuck me, huh? I think I still net to get back at you for this. Or did you seriously think you are off the hook already?”

 

“No,” Nick shakes his head violently, leaning back against the cushions. His heart races in anticipation when he feels Sean’s body on top of him. Sean is going to leave marks on his skin, and he loves the thought of carrying them. Nick closes his eyes, enjoying the mixture of heat and slight pain running through his body, whenever Sean’s lips and teeth bite and suck.

 

~~~

 

Sean knows Nick doesn’t like the word trauma, and honestly Sean doesn’t either. Nick is not the typical traumatized Sub. Sean has seen some of these pour souls during some of his cases, and he remembers the haunted lifeless look in their eyes, the blatant display of fear, Subs who weren’t able to go with Sean or Hank or be interrogated by them, because they were Doms and hence a threat. He knows the feeling of utter helplessness and defeat while facing these poor beings and not being able to help them.

 

Nick’s not one of them, not to the full extent. But he could have been, and maybe there was a time when he had that same haunted expression. He fears Doms. Sean knows it, Meisner knows. Even Monroe already knows.

 

It’s the reason Sean is so careful in handling him and punishing him. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Nick’s judgment, but he isn’t sure if he can trust himself to see the signs when Nick can’t. He isn’t sure if Nick will be able to use his safe-word. The responsibility lies fully on Sean’s shoulders, and it’s massive.

 

Nick shows signs of trauma in different ways, like that day he spent with Elizabeth. Whenever he thinks he made a mistake or broke a rule, it leads to an instinctive panicked reaction in which he closes off and panics, over-reacts… like a child.

 

If he breaks a rule, it’s mostly in these situations.

 

Sean knows he can’t discipline him for every breach of a rule. He could, but it’s not his style and it wouldn’t help either. He will punish Nick, if it’s necessary but he doesn’t want to do it too regularly, and not with an unstable Sub.

 

He is relieved through to see that other measures seem to help too.

 

 

 

 

“A rare visit,” Elizabeth smiles when she opens the door for him.

 

“Well, since you basically abducted my Sub recently, I need to check what you were up to,” Sean deadpans.

 

His mother obviously looks right through him. “Right,” she states with an amused glint in her eyes, but she doesn’t tease him either. Either curiosity or worry won over. Or maybe both.

 

She prepares tea for the both of them while Sean politely comments on her furniture. “You didn’t visit to talk about my new dining table,” she finally says when they both sit down in the living room.

 

Sean watches her light a cigarette. “That’s true,” he admits.

 

“You are here to talk about Nick,” she concludes.

 

Sean shouldn’t be surprised she knows. He still is though. “How did you know?”

 

“Because I can’t think of anything else lying on your mind at the moment, seeing how the royals are keeping it low. Are there issues?

 

“I wouldn’t call them issues,” Sean admits. “But I could do with a little advice.”

 

“Tell me,” she urges softly. “You are already here anyways. And you are not the type to chicken out of a difficult talk.”

 

Sean snorts. “Thanks for the reminder,” he states, amused. But then he nods to himself, and tells her everything. Well, _everything_ might be an exaggeration. It’s probably everything in Sean-Renard-standards, he doesn’t want her to know it all. She can fill the empty spaces and she knows how to read between the lines. He just makes sure she gets the general image. Mainly that Nick triggers and panics easily, and that Sean is reluctant of punishing him.

 

Elizabeth listens and nods here and there. “Although he is traumatized you also have to take into account that he is a Sub,” she states once Sean has finished. “It’s like he said: He submits. You can’t be scared of punishing him. Especially not when he asks you to. He said it himself. You have to trust him too, it goes both ways.”

 

Sean shifts his cup of coffee between his hands thoughtfully. “I know you are right, yet...”

 

“Sean, I understand your worries. But it’s not fair towards him not to trust in his own word. He expects you to do it. You were right not to punish him yesterday when he panicked, because obviously he was not in the right mind space. But in other situations?” She pauses, eyeing him thoughtfully. “Which implements did you previously use when punishing a Sub?”

 

Sean rubs his temples. “To imagine I am having such a talk with my mother...”

 

“You are talking about this, because you are a very good Dom and albeit experienced you want to be extra cautious now, because of Nick’s backstory. And that’s wonderful.”

 

Sean sighs. “Aside from my hand… paddle, belt. No cane – too much damage. It breaks the skin too easily. I am quite strong.”

 

“Never?” she asks.

 

“Only if it was with a Sub who is very much into pain-play. I did it maybe… twice,” Sean explains. “With Nick I would like to carefully test things first, you know? See how he reacts to different situations, words, implements. Make sure he can safe-word. I can’t allow myself to get high on a scene.”

 

“Great, here you have your answer already. Do it and gradually learn his reactions.”

 

“It’s unusual for me to discipline a Sub for a smaller breach of rule.”

 

Elizabeth chuckles. “It’s also unusual for you to send your Sub to stand in a corner. Didn’t you say once you hate the school-teacher approach?”

 

Sean’s lips tug slightly. “Have mercy, mother.”

 

Elizabeth laughs. “You are doing very well, Sean. You are exactly what Nick needs. He is heads over heels for you.”

 

“Hm,” Sean hums.

 

“You feel fond of him too, don’t you?”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “I would prefer not to answer this question.”

 

“You already did by coming to me for advice,” Elizabeth smiles happily. “You both deserve to be happy, and you already like each other. From here on it will only get more challenging.”

 

Sean’s lips tug in slight amusement. “You always knew how to raise my spirits,” he says with as much seriousness as he can muster. “Well, then, I will go home to my little personal challenge,” he jokes.

 

His mother grins. “You always liked a good challenge.”

 

“Oh,” his lips tug into a fond smile. “I do.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

Sean comes home to the most unusual sight ever. He sees Monroe with a major fishnet in his hands, and bread. Nick carries a box and a butterfly net. Next to them Sebastien is watching in a safe distance, his face carrying the most comical expression Sean has ever seen on his face.

 

“What in God’s name are you doing?” Sean asks, flabbergasted.

 

Monroe has the decency to look embarrassed, while Nick just smiles at him brightly. “There is a ferret in the garage,” his fearless mate states. “We are trying to catch it.”

 

“I see,” Sean says, trying his hardest to stay stoic and keep his expression even while he watches the unlikely pair hunting for the ferret in the garage. He turns his head, lips tugging slightly. “I think I will call Nick’s and mine favorite Italian restaurant and let them deliver some food.”

 

“I could also go and pick something up from there directly,” Sebastien offers. “Monroe doesn’t eat meat. It might be better to choose something specifically.”

 

“Good idea,” Sean smirks. “I bet the kids will be hungry once they stopped playing.” He grins. “And you are just looking for an excuse to escape the mess so that I have to deal with it alone?”

 

Sebastien looks a bit flustered, but then smiles. “As always you are reading me way too easily.”

 

“I have just a lot of practice,” Sean points out. He checks his friend from head to toe. He notes he looks a bit more tired recently. He also knows that when he wants to get Sebastien to answer anything, direct approach is the best. “Are you feeling well?”

 

Sebastien looks at him. “Yes… of course.”

 

“You weren’t sick, were you?”

 

Sebastien shakes his head, obviously still confused.

 

“You look tired,” Sean states carefully. “I am saying this as your friend, but you need to get rid of your stress occasionally. Sometimes you look like you are at the brink of exhaustion.”

 

“I… I know,” Sebastien admits quietly, his gaze stubbornly fixed on the other two guys hunting the ferret.

 

“There are professionals who can help you too,” Sean pushes further. It’s none of his business, not really. But he has just a very few friends, and he likes to ensure the few he has are well, particularly if there is a Sub within them. “But that’s not it, right? You have someone who helps you occasionally, don’t you?”

 

Sebastien draws his gaze away from the ferret-hunting scene in surprise, staring at Sean now. “How did you know?”

 

“A feeling,” Sean states. “A subtle change in you since a few months.”

 

“It’s just an occasional thing,” Sebastien explains. “We started this… actually coincidentally. It just happened. And it worked out fine.”

 

“And you liked it which is why you now wait for him to approach you instead of seeking help from someone professional.” Sean sighs. Wow, emotions, difficult. “That’s fine. But why don’t you ask him?”

 

“That’s difficult,” Sebastien states.

 

“Not really,” Sean urges. “You can be a bit bolder, you know? A lot of us Doms actually quite like that.”

 

“You mean when a Sub asks for help?” Sebastien asks carefully.

 

“Absolutely plays into our ego,” Sean admits honestly. “Is the guy you are seeing the very strong, dominant type?”

 

“You mean, Nick’s textbook example of a Dom?” Sebastien asks with a smile.

 

So these two do talk, huh? That’s good. Both need a good friend anyways. “Yes, if you want to call it that way.”

 

Sebastien nods.

 

“Then I promise you he will like it when you ask him for help. He started this with you after all. Couple or not, he still has a responsibility.” He rubs over his forehead thoughtfully. “I will go and fetch something to eat. You go and seek out that Dom of yours.”

 

Sebastien’s eyes widen. “Are you sure?”

 

“Of course,” Sean states. “Now go and have fun.”

 

 

~~~

 

“Ah, ah, ah, what are you doing?” Sean grabs Nick by his ear, preventing him from dropping on the sofa. He gives his earlobe a sharp tweak when Nick glares at him. “You are covered in dust. Did you even look in the mirror?”

 

Nick blushes, rubbing his ear after Sean let go of it. “Right,” he says, his cheeks tinted in an adorable pinkish tone. “I should probably go and take a bath.” He pauses, shifting around nervously. “Do you want to join?” he asks bravely, before he apparently gets hit by a sudden wave of insecurity again. He looks down at the floor. “I mean, you don’t have to of course. I was just thinking... the bathtub is huge, and it’s a waste of water to go alone, you know?”

 

Sean buries his head between his hands, laughing slightly. “Yes, Nicholas. I will join you, even without you trying to call out to my ecological conscience.”

 

Nick blushes, but then to Sean’s surprise he laughs too. “Sorry that I am so weird.”

 

“Not weird, actually you are quite charming.” Sean smirks. “So bathtub, huh? Well, then let’s take a bath now, and have a glass of wine later.”

 

Nick nods happily, and takes Sean’s hand to tug him along. Sean is normally not the type to take a bath, he likes a shower more than wasting his time in a bathtub. But his apartment does have a second bathroom with a little whirlpool in it, and he figures going in there with Nick definitely offers some advantages.

 

“Do you feel embarrassed getting naked in front of me?” Sean asks when they close the bathroom door behind them and he starts to let water pour into the bathtub. He doesn’t tease, not wanting to force Nick into something he isn’t ready for yet.

 

Nick shakes his head and swiftly strips out of his clothes. “They always said that my body is my asset,” he states proudly.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows, both at Nick’s surprisingly upfront display of confidence and at someone apparently brainwashing him into believing it’s the only thing he has to offer. He decides not to ruin the atmosphere by asking difficult questions though, instead he teases him a little. “I am amazed at your cocky attitude,” he smirks.

 

“You don’t like it?” Nick asks innocently, immediately catching on to his playful tone.

 

“I would like it more if I had some help here,” Sean says, pointing at his shirt. He can see how something in Nick’s eyes flashes. He looks eager all of a sudden. It seems like Sean’s flirting gladly works on him.

 

“I am a bad Sub for not noticing,” he tilts his head to the side with a bright smile and steps closer towards Sean.

 

“Yes,” Sean smirks. “Very bad.” He wraps an arm around Nick’s waist, kissing and sucking at the tender skin of his exposed neck while Nick unbuttons his shirt carefully. The marks there are fading already. “I will remember this,” he whispers into Nick’s ear. “That you don’t mind being naked. For future references.”

 

“To punish me or tease me?” Nick asks curiously.

 

Sean brushes over his arm. “Both,” he smirks. “Just imagine I make you join me for breakfast naked. Or let you kneel for me.”

 

Nick blushes, but at the same time also looks weirdly drawn to the suggestion. Sean nods to himself. Interesting. He will indeed keep this in mind. He can use it to punish Nick, to add a hint of embarrassment, of humiliation to a punishment, without pushing it too far. He knows some Subs like that, and apparently Nick does too.

 

Sean steps into the bathtub once Nick is finished with letting his fingers roam over Sean’s chest. “You are so toned,” he states, amazed.

 

Sean sits down, to his surprise quite enjoying the feel and scent of the warm water. He looks up at Nick. “Good to know that you like what you see,” he teases.

 

“I grew some muscles too,” Nick muses. “Training is paying off.”

 

“Actually you grew a lot of muscles,” Sean states.

 

“Really?” Nick grins contently and settles in the tub as well, back leaning against Sean’s chest. They stay silent for a few minutes. Sean reaches out his arm, searching for Nick’s hand in the water. Nick turns his head to look at him, eyes shining beautifully. He entwines his fingers with Sean’s, inspecting their hands curiously. “You have beautiful hands,” he finally states quietly.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows in amusement. “You seem to be really attracted to my hands. Is that your fetish?”

 

“Maybe,” Nick muses, his serious answer taking Sean by surprise. Then his sharp eyes catch Nick’s lips tugging slightly.

 

“Are you making fun of me, cheeky Grimm?” Sean asks in mock-earnesty.

 

Nick chuckles. “I would never…”

 

“Oh, absolutely,” Sean states grimly, his fingers poking Nick’s sides until the latter doubles over, laughing helplessly.

 

“Not fair,” Nick breaths out. “Ticklish!”

 

“I am very sorry,” Sean states dryly, but doesn’t stop his attack, noting in amusement how Nick moves around, trying to avoid his teasing fingers. Half of the water in the tub splashes on the ground, but Sean doesn’t mind.

 

“You won,” Nick blurts out, eyes teared up slightly from laughing. “I am so sorry~”

 

Sean snorts. “So believable,” he says in amusement, but stops his teasing. He waits for Nick to settle back into his arms again. “So, hands, huh?” Sean asks.

 

Nick chuckles. “Maybe I just like yours, I don’t know.”

 

“Is that so?” Sean deadpans. He lifts Nick’s chin with his finger, pulling him into a kiss. Nick kisses him back without hesitation. It makes Sean happy, almost irrationally so, to see Nick becoming so much bolder and more confident. At least in moments like these. He is obviously still battling some demons, but Sean slowly figured that he can’t expect Nick to push all his fears and doubts aside at once.

 

Sean decides to indulge him a bit, taking the bottle with shampoo and carefully beginning to wash Nick’s hair. He feels Nick relax instantly, little moans and gasps escaping his lips, and it takes Sean’s full willpower not to throw the bottle aside and jump his beautiful partner right here, right there.

 

Talking about traumatizing someone. The last thought keeps him grounded and focused.

 

“It’s a pity, isn’t it?” Nick mutters after a while.

 

“What’s a pity?” Sean wants to know.

 

“That we didn’t have the chance to get to know each other before,” Nick turns to look at Sean. “I mean… the natural way. We could have met, and then we would go on dates and gradually get to know each other.”

 

Sean let’s out a sigh. “I understand what you mean, Nick.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so awkward and so weird around you, I could be normal.”

 

“Nicholas, you are not weird,” Sean states earnestly. “You just don’t know me well enough yet.”

 

“I wish I would know everything about you,” Nick admits.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “I doubt you want that.”

 

“I do!”

 

Sean looks at his Sub for a while, trying to put himself in his position. “I don’t mind, Nicholas,” he finally says.

 

Nick blinks. “What do you mean?”

 

“I don’t mind that we didn’t meet before. To me it doesn’t matter that we didn’t do things the normal way. I am glad that I got lucky to have you at my side. I am extremely mad about what happened to you, but at the same time I am not mad that it led you to me.”

 

Nick lets his words sink in, then he smiles hopefully. “Really?”

 

“We are getting to know each other now,” Sean explains patiently. “Let’s not force things. Soon enough you will know almost everything about me. And I will know almost everything about you.”

 

“Hopefully you still like me then,” Nick muses.

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. Cute, he thinks, because there is nothing not to like about Nick. On the other hand Sean is a Zauberbiest, which is pretty off-putting for most people. If anything he has to be scared that Nick won’t like all of him. Difficult thoughts. He sighs, and decides not to bother Nick with his insecurities. Nick has his own share of them.

 

They spend almost an hour in the bathtub before the water gets cold and Sean decides they need to get out to make sure they won’t catch a cold.

 

He slips into his bathrobe, going to their bedroom to change into clean clothes when Nick walks by him. He has a small towel wrapped around his hips. Sean can’t help but steal a glance. He really is quite a sight. Sean wishes he could run his fingers over his skin, touch him.

 

Sean chuckles slightly when the towel slips down. He smacks Nick’s butt teasingly, leaving a lovely pinkish hand-print on the white skin. Nick raises his eyebrows and turns to look at Sean curiously. “Your fault for showing off your perfect backside,” Sean’s lips tug into a teasing smirk. “I couldn’t resist.”

 

Nick licks his lips. “Could you… do it again?” he offers, taking Sean completely by surprise.

 

Sean raises an eyebrow. “You want me to spank you?”

 

Nick takes Sean’s hand into his, playing with his fingers. “I wonder how your hands feel on my skin, what kind of impact they leave.”

 

Sean watches how Nick brushes over his palm, turning his hand slightly. “You do know that I am quite… heavy-handed, don’t you?”

 

Nick smiles proudly. “Of course you are. You are a strong Dom!”

 

Sean knows part of Nick’s praise comes from his old-fashioned view on Doms. He was taught that they have to be a certain way, and Sean happens to fit into that image quite well. It’s the reason Nick respects him and Meisner more than Monroe, it’s also the reason why he is less scared from Monroe and can open up towards him easier. He knows it, still something in him grows at Nick’s admiration and praise. Damn it, he is just human.

 

And he swears, this little Grimm is going to be the end of him.

 

“Well then,” Sean agrees, he has no reason at all to decline Nick’s request. Let’s see if Nick is going to have fun with it. They can always stop if he doesn’t like it. It’s not punishment after all. Sean smacks Nick’s butt again. “But not standing.”

 

“How do you want me?” Nick asks, eyes wide-opened in anticipation.

 

“Bed, on your palms and knees,” Sean orders. “Nicholas, this might be sending you down. Are you okay with that?”

 

“I,” Nick licks his lips while he settles in the position Sean told him to. “Actually I would like it if you could take me down. I felt a bit… tensed recently.”

 

Sean feels a wave of warmth and thankfulness wash over him. To imagine Nick just really came to him to ask him to take him down, and also told him how he wants it to happen. “I am so proud of you,” he says quietly. “For telling me what you want. You made me really happy.”

 

Nick looks a bit flustered, but also happy. When Sean looks at him questioningly, he nods his consent.

 

“You know your safe-word?”

 

“Cactus,” Nick answers promptly.

 

Sean kneels on the bed, one hand on Nick’s back, pushing his shoulders down, until Nick rests on his arms, butt up in the air. He likes to be naked, Sean figures, maybe he will also like to be in an embarrassing position. He was right, it seems, because Nick’s breath gets a bit hoarse, pulse going faster. He has his lips parted slightly. He is as ready as one can be. Sean pats the white globes of Nick’s ass tentatively before he raises his hand and brings it down fast. He has cupped his hand slightly, going for a little sting rather than for the very real pain of a proper spanking.

 

Nick gasps, but other than that remains still. Sean smacks his butt again, harder this time, noting how his hand just left a red-ish print on Nick’s sensitive skin. When Nick still remains calm, his breath even, it’s all the reassurance Sean needs. He focuses on Nick’s butt cheeks first before moving down to the more sensitive skin of his thighs. He keeps a steady rhythm, careful to not lay into his swats too much.

 

He pauses for a moment, rubbing the abused skin carefully. “Nicholas,” he calls out calmly, mainly to check on his Sub and see how he is coping. “Color?”

 

“Green,” Nick blurts out. “More,” he begs. “Please, Sir.”

 

Sean continues, happy to fulfill his wish. Nick gasps and pants, and moans, the sweetest sounds possible escaping his mouth. “You are doing so well,” Sean praises with pride in his voice. This is his Sub. His perfect, strong Sub. He isn’t one to mark his territory normally or to delve in chauvinistic thoughts or gender roles, but damn, he can’t deny it. This.feels.so.good. Nick is so good, so good for him.

 

“These are the last few,” he states, reminding himself that this is still just for a little fun, and not to punish Nick.

 

He brings his hand down on Nick’s ass a few more times before he stops his assault, noting how his palm tingles slightly. It’s been a while, he figures in amusement. He allows himself a moment to catch his breath, before he checks on his Sub. Nick has dropped down on his stomach, head turned to the side slightly. His cheeks are slightly redder, skin damp from sweat and probably a few tears. He looks content though.

 

Sean touches his cheek softly. “Hey dear,” he says warmly. “Still with me?”

 

Nick nods, smiling drowsily. “Was I good? Did I do well?”

 

“You were perfect,” Sean praises him softly. “So strong and beautiful, and perfect for me.”

 

His words make Nick smile brightly. “You are strong,” he sighs contently. “I knew you would be strong. You held back a lot, still strong.” He nuzzles his nose into his pillow. “Strong Dom.”

 

Sean chuckles in amusement. “How far down are you?” Sean asks, his fingers brushing through Nick’s hair, pushing some sweaty strands of hair away from his forehead.

 

“Dunno,” Nick closes his eyes, burying his head in Sean’s chest when Sean bends down towards him. Sean lets him engage in this for a moment, enjoying it himself to feel his Sub so close. Then however he decides he needs to make sure Nick is all well. “I am going to clean us up a bit,” he explains. “Alright? I will be back in a minute.”

 

He makes sure not to take too long when he fetches a few items. Nick is probably pretty far under already and needs a good amount of sleep soon. Sean works swiftly, using a wet towel to clean up Nick’s face, and an additional one – a colder one – to wrap it around Nick’s neck.

 

“No~” Nick complains. “Cold.”

 

Sean laughs slightly at Nick’s whining, his hand carefully brushing over Nick’s legs and his rear. He is relieved to see that he still knows his strength quite well. While he did color Nick’s skin in an intense shade of red, it’s all just on the surface and will have faded again until tomorrow. “Do you want me to put some creme on it?” he asks, just to make sure.

 

Nick shakes his head and reaches out his arm. “Bed,” he mutters. “Please, Sir?”

 

Sean smiles a bit, getting rid of his bathrobe and lying down next to Nick. He pulls him into his arms, noting how Nick snuggles against him immediately. “Thank you,” Nick mutters tiredly, pressing his nose against Sean’s chest.

 

Sean brushes over his back softly. “Sleep now,” he says fondly.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nick breaths in deeply and lets the air of his lungs out with a deep relaxed sound. “I didn’t even realize it was raining last night,” he states while he prepares some tea for them. Sean notes how relaxed he looks. Taking Nick down truly works miracles, he realizes. However it also means that Nick tends to tense up more than the usual Sub when he is at the edge of a drop.

 

“Well, someone was definitely very out of it last night,” Sean teases.

 

Nick grins. “And whose fault is it?”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows, noting how Nick shifts around under his scrutinizing glance. “So I was the one begging to get spanked?” he deadpans

 

“I did not beg,” Nick argues weakly. “Well, maybe a bit. Fine, I wanted it.”

 

Sean pulls him into his arms. “You were so bold yesterday,” Sean states in amusement. “How come you are embarrassed now? There is no reason to be ashamed about things you like.” He smirks. “After all you haven’t even heard yet what I like.”

 

Nick smiles, stretching a bit to kiss Sean’s neck. “What do you like?” he catches on immediately.

 

“Careful Mister, don’t leave a mark there,” Sean warns him, tone something between amused and serious. “Or you will get in troubles with me.”

 

Nick flashes him an innocent smile. “But you know I like that~”

 

It makes Sean snort in amusement, completely destroying his previous earnest approach. “Good to see you are feeling well,” he comments dryly. “You are alright, are you? In pain anywhere?”

 

Nick shakes his head. “I am perfectly fine,” he smiles. “Thank you.” He chuckles all of a sudden. “You do have quite a strong hand, although I could tell you were holding back. I don’t want to know how much it’s going to hurt if you won’t hold back.”

 

“Yes,” Sean raises his eyebrows. “It’s for the best if you don’t try to find out.”

 

Nick snorts in amusement. “Right, because it’s so easy.” He pauses. “So… what do you like?”

 

Sean chuckles slightly. “If you behave, I will show you some...gadgets one day.”

 

“You have toys?” Nick grins.

 

One of Sean’s eyebrows pops up, hopefully to show how he disapproves of he the word toys. “Let’s call them gadgets.”

 

Nick nuzzles his nose into Sean's sweater, smiling a bit. “Fine,” he gives in with a chuckles.

 

“So, what’s on your plan for today?” Sean asks.

 

“I would like to go for a run,” Nick muses. “It’s getting colder recently, but the sun is shining today.”

 

“I like that thought,” Sean muses.

 

Nick looks at him in careful hope. “You wouldn’t like to join, would you? I know you have work, but there is still a bit time left...”

 

“I absolutely would like to join,” Sean states dryly.

 

“Great!” Nick exclaims happily. He keeps chatting a bit with Sean, telling him about what he discovered with Monroe recently and how his training with Meisner progresses. Sean listens and nods here and there. Nick’s reaction took him by surprise again. It’s the first time someone is so happy to spend time with him. It seems like Nick is actually the happiest when Sean manages to squeeze in some free hours into his full schedule and spends them with Nick.

 

He really needs to do more for their relationship, Sean figures. Maybe they could take a weekend off or go hiking or… the cold season is about to start soon, and he assumes Nick never went skiing. Seeing how he is very active and likes all kinds of sports, he will probably love it.

 

“I have to head to the precinct for a few hours today,” Sean muses. “But how about we go on a date later?”

 

Nick’s eyes widen. “A date?”

 

“Yeah, someone complained to me last night how we didn’t do things properly, and never went on a proper date,” Sean smirks.

 

“I, I didn’t mean to complain,” Nick stutters.

 

“So you don’t want to go on a date?” Sean asks with the blankest expression he can muster.

 

“No, I,” Nick pauses, frowning slightly, then he groans in annoyance. “Jeez, your mother is right. I am an easy victim!” He frowns. “You enjoy teasing me way too much.”

 

Sean chuckles softly. “I will make it up to you by picking you up at 7 PM. What do you think?”

 

His promise raises Nick’s mood instantly. “Yes! I would love to go out with you,” he smiles happily. “Next time I will plan out a date,” he suddenly promises.

 

Sean’s chest feels warm at the smile Nick shows him. He is very careful normally with showing his feelings or, worse, naming them. He has never told someone he likes or loves them, he has never felt it. But the urge to tell Nick how important he is to him and how he feels about him gets stronger every day. He doesn’t want to pressure him by naming them though. In a way Nick was right last night. Everything would have been easier had they met in a normal way.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for posting so late. You won't believe it... but I have this chapter finished for months! But I wasn't happy with it, so I kept re-reading it, and re-writing parts of it. Mainly because Nick's feelings are really challenging here, and it was incredibly difficult to put it all into words and... well... I think you know what I mean XD 
> 
> I am still not really happy with the outcome of this, but figured it won't get any better this time. I hope you like this chapter despite everything!
> 
> Btw I don't know when it happened that Meisner became this annoying older-brother dude one just wants to win against for once! Nick's trying, but I think Meisner has no idea how he comes off to Nick *lol* Meanwhile Sebastien and Monroe understand it all perfectly well and are absolutely amused.
> 
>  
> 
> There are a lot of things which are going to be a recurring theme, like Sean's insecurities about Nick's feelings, Nick's trauma and how he drops too fast. And they both didn't go beyond kissing yet. And here is a very important question (important to me at least): How explicit do you want this fic to become? I mean, Nick is clearly becoming very interested in Sean, and Sean just waits for Nick to give him the proper signs. I can honestly go both ways: I can write very explicit scenes, but I could also rather mention things and hint on them rather than really write them. I could also go a middle-way.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick wonders why neither Monroe nor Meisner would discipline him. He gets some of his questions out of his system. And he and Sean get a little more intmate with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end Sean and Nick get slightly intimate with each other. It's not a very explicit scene, but definitely more mature. Nothing hardcore though, don't worry :-)

Nick almost misses an appointment with Meisner. Actually he would like to blame his phone for it, because that idiotic gadget didn’t set his alarm properly. But deep inside he knows he should have checked the time himself. By the time he arrives – even with Sebastien using every shortcut he knows for him until they got inevitably stuck in traffic and Nick decided to run the rest of the way – he is already half an hour late.

 

Meisner crosses his arms in front of his body, gracing Nick with a steely glare. “I have been waiting,” he states.

 

“I know, I’m so sorry!” Nick pants heavily.

 

“Any excuses?”

 

Nick thinks about his phone for a moment, then shakes his head. “I just didn’t check the time properly. It’s my fault.” His heart races slightly when he looks up to face his trainer slash teacher slash somewhat-friend-in-a-weird-twisted-way. It’s not all there is to Meisner though… he is also a Dom.

 

Nick knows that part of his rushed heartbeat stems from something else than running so fast.

 

Meisner’s eyes check him from head to toe. “You were running?”

 

Nick nods.

 

“Well, at least you are honest,” Meisner sighs. “But don’t think I will let you off the hook like that,” he says calmly. For a moment Nick’s heart skips a beat. Meisner looks strong, not as strong as Sean, but still strong. Will he...beat him? “I will definitely let you run some extra rounds for wasting my time.”

 

Nick blinks in confusion. “That’s all?” he dares to ask.

 

Meisner looks at him in surprise. “What do you mean?” he asks.

 

“Nothing,” Nick hurries to say with a slight blush. “I am ready to start anytime!” he beams with new-found motivation.

 

Meisner doesn’t say anything about the issue anymore, going into business immediately. Training with him is...exhausting, and sometimes Nick gets the feeling he is going particularly hard on him. He has seen Meisner train other people here and there, and he goes a lot slower on them. Maybe it’s because Nick is a Grimm and can take more? Maybe he doesn’t like him? Nick is not sure what it is, he isn’t sure how he feels about Meisner either, but he knows he is getting better with every training.

 

Today he even manages to lay in some good punches and even throw Meisner down to the floor once. To his surprise something very unusual happens: Meisner compliments him immediately. “You are learning fast, Nick,” he states in approval. Nick is sure he can even hear slight pride in his voice. “It’s obvious you have been practicing. Have you been training at home too?”

 

“Yes, I am trying to,” Nick nods, he hasn’t expected the sudden praise. “But… it’s hard without a partner to train with. Monroe is strong as a Wesen but he can’t fight like that, so he is not an option. Sebastien can fight a bit, but not enough for me to go against him. I could severely hurt him.”

 

“What about Sean?” Meisner asks. “He is a very good fighter, Nick. He is strong, and as a Zauberbiest he can keep up with you. And he is a policeman. He can probably show you some extra tricks they learn on the force.”

 

Nick looks away, a bit embarrassed. “I don’t want to bother him,” he finally admits. “He already does so much for me. And… I know he would if I asked him to. But he works so much and then he also looks after me all the time, and I know I have not been easy to handle during the last weeks. I don’t want to add more to the list.”

 

Meisner looks at him thoughtfully. “Why don’t you just ask him?” When Nick wants to argue, he shakes his head. “Hear me out. You don’t even give him the chance to say no. Nicholas, Sean is a very confident and strong person. You say, you have been difficult? Are you sure that Sean thinks the same? He is your partner, your husband, Nick, you should be talking with him about these worries.”

 

“I don’t know if I can,” Nick states shyly.

 

“I know, but let me tell you this as a fellow Dom.” Meisner shrugs. “It’s going to fucking hurt to know that your Sub, your partner, talks to anyone but you. I know you are just trying to be considerate and I know things aren’t easy for you, but you need to talk more with Sean.” He pauses. “Did you know Sean trains multiple times a week? He and I train together sometimes. He likes a good challenge. He has a versatile knowledge about fighting styles. It’s a hobby.”

 

“I didn’t know that,” Nick says surprised.

 

“You would have known if you had asked him,” Meisner points out mercilessly.

 

Nick looks down to the floor, suddenly feeling bad about this. He is not being fair towards Sean, Meisner is right. He is just being… selfish. He tries not to be, but by trying he makes things even worse and-

 

“Nick,” Meisner’s voice is a lot softer all of sudden. “I didn’t mean to scold you. Sorry for being too blunt. It’s not been my intention to make you feel bad. I am just telling you all of this because I want to see you succeed. You are not a bother to Sean.”

 

“Why didn’t you punish me?” Nick asks all of a sudden.

 

“What?” Meisner blinks in confusion.

 

“I mean today when I arrived too late...”

 

“I did punish you,” Meisner frowns. “I let you run some extra rounds.”

 

Nick shrugs helplessly. “That’s not punishment… not… I mean,” he pauses. “It’s just penalty during sports. I mean, you are a Dom...”

 

“Are you asking me why I didn’t _discipline_ you?” Meisner asks, his frown growing even bigger.

 

Nick nods.

 

“So that’s what you meant when you asked me if _that’s all_?” Meisner shakes his head. “I am your trainer, Nick, not your Dom. I am not going to punish you just like that. There was no need to do so either. You just came late to a training, you apologized, we settled it during the training itself. Case closed.”

 

“What if I… mess up,” Nick asks. “Let’s say, I’ll do something wrong, like really wrong, and you are there to see it.”

 

“It’s not like I wouldn’t react,” Meisner states carefully. “You know me by now, I am pretty much straight-forward with my opinion. I might scold you, but I wouldn’t punish you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it’s not my place to do so!” Meisner furrows his brows. “Jeez, Nick. In this society there are only three types of persons who are allowed to discipline you as an adult. One are professionals you seek out if you need them in case you are single, the second would be a Dom friend who you have a contract with and the other, like in your case, is your bounded Dom. That’s it. Everyone else is off-limits. Sean would behead me if I dared to lay a finger on you! And fuck, he would be right to do so.”

 

Nick frowns, he feels confused. It’s so different than to what he learned growing up. “But-” he shakes his head. “You are a Dom,” he repeats again.

 

“Yes, and as a Dom I am still bound to rules in this country,” Meisner explains. “There are laws and restrictions for a reason. Good Doms like Monroe or hopefully my own person wouldn’t even think of hitting you. Of course, sometimes it’s in our nature to wish we could put a misbehaving Sub over our knee, but we would never act on it, no matter what said Sub does. We can’t just walk around, beating other people! Bad Doms… might act differently, so when they touch you, they break the law. As a Sub ideally you have the law behind you, to protect you, exactly because some Doms might take advantage of your orientation and their power.” He pauses. “Did the Doms at the organization tell you this and even acted upon it?” his tone is different now, grim, angry even.

 

Nick nods and stays quiet, trying to grasp everything Meisner has been telling him. He blinks when he feels Meisner’s hand against his shoulder, squeezing it slightly. It’s a rare soft gesture for the rather controlled and distanced man. “I will tell you something: Go and discuss this with Monroe too. Ask him the same question you asked me, and see what he tells you. He is, he is better at explaining things. And then talk about this with Sean.” he smiles slightly. “It’s important, Nick. Don’t be scared to ask these questions.”

 

Meisner’s last words keep swirling in his mind. Normally he would rather run from such a conversation, but Meisner is right… he needs to ask further and to put his mind at ease. Maybe Meisner is just… a very unique Dom… and everyone else is exactly like the Doms who raised him.

 

Nick nods to himself firmly, deciding to man it up. He swiftly writes Monroe a message, asking him if he would be in for a little get-together. He receives an answer swiftly.

 

_Thank God you asked. I have wrapped up work for today and Rosalee is out of town. I am bored to hell._

 

The next thing is to call Sebastien to tell him he doesn’t need to be picked up because he will visit Monroe. He is about to put his phone aside when a thought strikes him. He blushes, he almost forgot again! He is such an idiot, Sean just told him a few days ago to tell him if he is out the whole day.

 

So he does, grinning against his own previous gloomy thoughts when Sean answers him with a teasing message. _I can’t believe you thought about writing me. Are you really Nicholas?_ _If no, what did you do to him!? Hand him back immediately._

 

Nick laughs at that silly message, pretty unlikely for Sean. He seems to be in a really good mood recently, and it warms Nick’s heart to know that Sean is probably only showing this playful side to him.

 

~~~

 

 

Monroe has prepared coffee for them and cookies. They are out of oatmeal and honey, and not the worst he has ever made. After they finished their usual small-talk, he wonders how to start, when Monroe beats him to it.

 

“What do you want to talk about Nick?” He smiles when Nick blinks. “You look like there is something lying on your mind. Get rid off it and talk to good ol’ Monroe! He isn’t going to bite.”

 

Nick takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says bravely. “I will just ask...”

 

“Go ahead,” Monroe eyes him curiously. “I am dying to know.”

 

“I just wondered… I did talk with Meisner about it too, but I am still not sure… and he told me to ask you and Sean too. And-” he pauses, noting how he is rambling. “Let’s say I do wrong, are you going to punish me then?”

 

“What?” Monroe blinks.

 

“I was late for the training today, and Meisner...”

 

“He hit you!?” Monroe asks in horror.

 

“No, no!” Nick shakes his head, surprised at the strong reaction. “He didn’t, and that’s exactly why I am wondering. I don’t get it, Monroe. He is a Dom, shouldn’t he have punished me? Whip me or do something else with me?”

 

Monroe looks at him for a while, the look in his eyes worried and a little sad. “Is this how you perceive Doms in general, Nick?” he asks quietly.

 

“Isn’t it normal?” Nick stutters. “You are Doms. I am a Sub. If I do wrong or misbehave, I get punished.”

 

“Yes, maybe, but not by us,” Monroe states. “Not by me or Meisner. Sean is allowed to discipline you, and even he can’t cross certain lines. That’s what you have your contract for. He can’t break your hard limits or limits in general. Even if a Dom punishes his assigned Sub, there is a certain consent to it. I admit that it’s... a different consent than during sex.” He pauses. “Okay, let’s say you are terrified of something, of… hm… blood and let’s say your Dom is about to discipline you. It means that he won’t use a real whip on you, ever, because it will draw blood. But if you like it, if you are into pain, he might. That’s the difference.”

 

Nick looks at his fingers. “I am beginning to understand the last part you just said. Sean explained it to me like that too, and I can slowly see what it means and how he would never do something I am terrified of, even if he is going to punish me.” He pauses. “But you and Meisner, you are Doms too… why wouldn’t you discipline me?”

 

“I can see why you would wonder about Meisner, because he is training you. I am not though,” Monroe shakes his head.

 

“What if I do something against the rules? What if I… I don’t know… do something to make you feel upset?”

 

Monroe tilts his head, for all his normally so soft and good-hearted gruffness he is surprisingly serious. “Then we’ll argue like normal friends do. The most I’d do is tell you off.” He shrugs. “And you will go home and tell Sean, and he will punish you if he sees necessary. But I? No way. I would be furious if someone did that to Rosalee, and I would not take it lightly. Just because we are Doms, doesn’t mean we can use our status however we like, we can’t invade in a Sub’s privacy just like that. Even when we are friends or co-workers, even when a Dom is your boss. Discipline lies in the hands of your bounded Dom.”

 

“And Sebastien?” he asks quietly. “He is not bounded to a Dom.”

 

“Yes, but he has friends who are Ds. He probably has a loose contract with them,” Monroe points out. “Maybe he is also visiting someone professional who will help him going under.”

 

Nick looks at him for the longest time possible, allowing everything to sink in. “We are friends?” he finally asks.

 

“As far as I am concerned we are.”

 

“I have never had a friend,” Nick points out, voice rough with emotions.

 

Monroe shows him a genuine smile. “Well now you have one. And just so you now, I’m pretty hard to get rid off.”

 

“So if I break a rule,” Nick summarizes. “You wouldn’t punish me, you would just tell Sean.”

 

“No, you will tell Sean.” Monroe says calmly. It dawns on Nick how patient he actually he is. He doesn’t seem to get tired of Nick asking the same things over and over again. “Maybe I will try to convince you to tell him, but I won’t do it myself. Telling Sean you made a mistake, is your task, not mine.” He smiles warmly. “I know this is a lot to take, Nick, and a lot of new things for you to learn. Don’t stress yourself, you can always ask me or Rosalee, or even Meisner and Sebastien. And definitely Sean. You should talk to him too, he will definitely diffuse some of your worries.”

 

In a sudden burst of emotions Nick hugs him, grinning when Monroe squeals in surprise. “Someone get that unruly Grimm off me!”

 

Nick laughs and lets go, elbowing Monroe playfully which earns him a ruffle through his hair. “So what about that clock you wanted to show me?”

 

Monroe beams. “You really want to see it?”

 

“You are talking about it since weeks,” Nick points out. “So, why not?”

 

“And what’s in it for you?” Monroe asks skeptically.

 

Nick grins. “More coffee, a proper cake and maybe the one or other book to read into?”

 

Monroe sighs dramatically. “Why am I not surprised.” When Nick shows him his best innocent puppy eyes, he gives in though. “Jeez. Fine, you won. But stop giving me these puppy eyes. You are worse than Rosalee.” He grins happily. “Seems like we have quite a tight schedule today.”

 

 

 

They indeed spend the whole afternoon together, going through some old books which belonged to Monroe’s grandfather. Monroe tries to explain to him as much as possible, about the Wesen he knows best. It’s later when someone rings at the door. “Oh, that’s Meisner,” Monroe states.

 

“Meisner?” Nick blinks.

 

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you. Sebastien called and said he has to go to a meeting for Sean. Meisner is picking you up together with him, drive Sebastien to his meeting and then take you home.” He smiles. “I would have done it, but Rosalee is coming back-” He blushes. “And...”

 

Nick grins. “I got it, I got it! No details please.”

 

He doesn’t know how he feels about driving with Meisner, not because he feels unsafe with him, but rather because he is so damn hard to read and he doesn’t know what he really thinks about Nick. It’s just a short way home though, so he decides to take it cool for now. And Sebastien is here too, it makes everything easier. He follows Monroe to the front door to greet the other two men.

 

“Hey Nick,” Sebastien smiles warmly. “Unexpected and unconventional gathering this time, isn’t it? It will be a change to our usual conversational topics,” he says, hinting on the many times he picked Nick up from his training and he complained about Meisner.

 

Nick chuckles slightly, his amusement growing when he sees Meisner’s and Monroe’s confusion. “What do you mean?” Monroe finally asks curiously.

 

“It’s a Sub thing,” Sebastien states calmly. Apparently it’s a knock-out argument, because both men don’t inquire further.

 

“You look better,” Meisner states and it sounds surprisingly relieved.

 

“Yeah, he looked pretty down when he arrived here,” Monroe complains. “Apparently pep talk is not your forte.”

 

“I did my best though,” Meisner mutters

 

Monroe raises his eyebrows. “Wow… that’s your best?”

 

Meisner apparently decides to ignore him. “Did you...” he looks at Nick thoughtfully. “Ask what you needed to ask?”

 

Nick nods.

 

“And believe it?”

 

“I am not sure yet,” Nick admits. “But I will go with your advice and ask Sean too. Oh, talking about… I have another question too,” he suddenly remembers something important. “A...vocabulary one.”

 

Meisner and Monroe exchange a look. “Yes?”

 

Nick turns to Sebastien. “You speak French, don’t you?” he blushes. “What does faon mean?”

 

“Who calls you like that?” Meisner asks, before he raises his hand. “No, don’t answer. I know.”

 

“It means deer,” Sebastien explains, smiling slightly. “Bambi you know?”

 

Nick blinks. “Like the animal?”

 

“Yes,” Monroe agrees. “Is this a nickname or what?”

 

Nick blushes. “Forget it, please.”

 

Sebastien takes pity on him. “Come on Nick, let’s go.”

 

Meisner nods. “You two can wait in the car. Sean asked me to get some books from Monroe if possible.”

 

Nick nods, wishing Monroe a good night and follows Sebastien to Meisner’s car. It’s a pickup, quite bulky and sturdy. Fits Meisner, Nick thinks with a grin. When Sebastien unlocks it and opens the door, Nick’s gaze falls on his wrists. There are red lines around them, fading already, not quite bruised, but similar the traces of a rope. He was… tied up.

 

Sebastien notes his gaze and blushes deeply. He pulls his sleeves over his hands.

 

His reaction makes Nick blush too, like he just peeked into something he shouldn’t have seen. They both share a glance. “Wow,” Nick stutters. “Now we are both embarrassed.”

 

“Sorry,” Sebastien’s smile looks rather nervous than genuine. “Just pretend you didn’t see it,” he stutters, clearly flustered.

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Nick answers, slowly able to fight back his initial shyness. It’s the first time it dawns on him that Sebastien is a Sub too and probably has someone who is there for him when he drops and who disciplines him (not that he can imagine Sebastien ever doing something even remotely off the rules). Maybe even someone he sleeps with. “I wish...” Nick starts.

 

Sebastien looks at him thoughtfully. “What do you wish for?”

 

“Nothing,” Nick hurries to answer. Wish to have marks to hide? Sounds silly. “What kind of books is Meisner gathering?”

 

“Oh,” Sebastien is back in his professional mode immediately, throwing Nick a thankful glance for shifting the topic. “Sean wanted some old maps.”

 

“I see…” Nick nods, his thoughts going back to Sean and to all the information he received from his friends today. It’s hard to take up all of it, he thinks. And to accept it.

 

 

~~~

 

“Sean?” Nick plops down next to Sean on the sofa after they had dinner together. “What about me looks like a deer? You always call me like that.”

 

Sean blinks for a moment before he chuckles. “You are only asking now? After months?” He snorts. “When we met for the first time you looked scared, a bit shy. You have those beautiful eyes, but they were wide-opened like you were afraid of everything.”

 

“Was I?” Nick asks.

 

“Yes.” Sean reaches out his hand invitingly.

 

Nick takes it happily, slipping closer to snuggle against his mate. “And now?”

 

“Right now you are rather like a little cuddly kitten,” Sean teases. When Nick frowns and pouts at that comparison, his eyebrows just move up a bit. “See, you even hiss like one.”

 

Nick engulfs in their little bickering for a while, until he decides to pick up the topic lying on his mind. “And for real, Sean? Do I still look like a scared deer sometimes?”

 

Sean throws him a careful glance. He sighs. “Generally you don’t. But when you believe you did wrong, you look terrified.”

 

Nick nods, he doesn’t like the answer, but he appreciates that Sean is honest with him… and he is right. “Is this why the other Doms aren’t allowed to discipline me?”

 

Sean raises his eyebrows. “I think I am missing a crucial part of information here. Care to fill me in?”

 

Nick sighs slightly. “I was too late for my training today. And I thought Meisner would punish me, as in he would… whip me. But although he was pissed, he didn’t.”

 

“Of course he didn’t,” Sean says firmly. “Meisner would never do anything like that.”

 

“I asked him why he didn’t. And I asked Monroe. And they said they aren’t allowed to punish me, and they would never invade a Sub’s personal space like that. It’s not their place to discipline me. And that you are the only one who is allowed to do so. You would kill them if they lay a finger on me. Well, something like this...”

 

Sean reaches out his hand, taking Nick’s into his. “Then you know the answer already.”

 

“So it’s true.”

 

“Nick,” Sean rubs with his thumb over the back of his hand. “You are not a possession. Yes, we entered a contract, but there are limits and laws I need to abide to as a Dom. Did you know a Dom could go to jail if he didn’t listen to your safe-word? Exploitation, rape, drugs, all of this is forbidden, although some Doms might pretend it isn’t. Another Dom can’t touch you. Meisner can be mad at you, but he can’t discipline you. Monroe can argue with you, but he can’t simply hit you. Or would you walk around and randomly slap around some Subs? Discipline is a very private agreement between a Sub and their Dom. You won’t want someone to participate when we have sex either, am I right? You committed to me, and I committed to you. And that’s our responsibility to each other. We have a contract between us for a reason.”

 

Nick nods. After he has heard it for the third time this day, it finally begins feeling real. He can actually… be relaxed when he meets Monroe or Meisner. He doesn't need to feel scared.

 

“Nick, do you know why we have a contract?” Sean asks. “Or let me rephrase it: Do you know why such a contract even exists?”

 

“To know my boundaries and limits?” Nick asks quietly.

 

Sean nods his approval. “Yes, to protect you. It gives me a guideline about what you like and how far I can take you. It’s why most contracts are even made with the help of a professional.”

 

Nick nods tentatively, smiling when Sean pulls him into his arms, allowing him to lean his back against his chest. “I am sorry for being so insecure.”

 

“Actually I am very proud of you for asking questions,” Sean argues. “Instead of freaking out or working yourself into a panic attack, you asked your friends and me about it, and that’s a very good thing.” He kisses the top of Nick’s head, hugging him even closer.

 

Nick looks down at Sean’s fingers, they are intertwined around his waist. He brushes over them, waiting for Sean to loosen his grip so that he can turn one of his hands, looking at his palm. He realizes he hasn’t quite looked at Sean’s body properly yet. Of course he _looks_ at him, but he hasn’t inspected anything, he hasn’t tried to do something, probably because most of the time when they get slightly intimate, he is too far down to notice anything.

 

Nick traces the lines of Sean’s hand with his finger, before he gathers his entire courage, turning around and sliding to the floor down to his knees. He leads Sean’s hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles, one after another.

 

“You know,” Sean says quietly, voice hoarser than usual. “What you are are doing could be seen as an act of submission.”

 

“Hm,” Nick nods.

 

“You are not dropping, are you?” Sean asks tentatively.

 

“No,” Nick shakes his head and proceeds with Sean’s other hand, kissing Sean’s ring first before he proceeds with his knuckles. “I want to do it.”

 

“Good,” Sean says, his thumb brushing over Nick’s lips. “Stay on your knees.” There is just a hint of an order in his voice, but it’s enough for Nick to feel something tug inside him.

 

He wants to slips closer to Sean, but the latter stops him. “Stay,” he orders, his voice darker now, thicker with emotions and the tugging in Nick’s stomachs grows into something closer to floating. Nick almost feels his gaze on him, it makes him squirm slightly in anticipation. He wishes he would just touch him or do anything.

 

“I bought something,” Sean says after what feels forever. “Do you want to see it?”

 

Nick nods eagerly. “Yes, Sir.”

 

Sean pulls out a box from a bag behind the sofa. Nick recognizes the brand immediately, it’s the same as his collar, the same velvety box. This is certainly going to be interesting. Sean opens it for him to see, his expression on guard, thoughtful even, like he wants to read all of Nick’s feelings. “Can I...” Nick blushes slightly, not sure if Sean even wants him to say something. “Can I touch them?”

 

Sean’s controlled expression softens into something warmer. It strikes Nick that he probably feared Nick would be a f raid. But he isn’t. He rather feels anticipation and an exciting feeling of sweet anxiety pooling in his stomach. His fingers trace the item first. Leather ties, he figures, or cuffs. Something in between. They are broad er than ties , material soft but strong,  adorned with opals and diamonds.  They look way too expensive for something to use in bed.  They are held together by a black filigree chain, giving  its user the chance t o adjust  the length of it to  their liking. 

 

Sean could pull them together, giving Nick less space to move, he could chain him to something, further away, he could attach it to his collar even or to restraints on his feet.

 

Nick swallows thickly. “I want to try them.”

 

“Are you sure Nicholas?” Sean asks, his sharp gaze scanning Nick form head to toe.

 

Definitely yes! “I am certain. Please Sir.” For a moment Sean looks at him, seems to be searching for something in Nick’s eyes. Nick doesn’t waver, relieved when Sean’s lips tug into a smile and his eyes soften. Apparently he found what he was looking for.

 

Sean nods and takes a step back. “Undress,” he orders. It makes Nick blush slightly. Sean smirks. “I thought you don’t mind being naked?”

 

It’s something else when he is the _only one_ naked… and kneeling, Nick things, but he swiftly brushes his clothes off, throwing them in a corner of the room. Sean dabs his cheeks lightly. “I think next time I need to teach you how to fold your clothes properly,” he scolds.

 

Nick almost talks back to him, about to say that Sean didn’t order him to fold them. But he closes his mouth before he can say something cheeky. “Good decision,” Sean brushes with his knuckles over Nick’s cheek. His praise goes directly to Nick’s erection. “From now on I don’t want to hear a word from you, unless you use your safe-word. “A pause. “Hands behind your back.”

 

Nick obliges, noting how Sean walks behind him. The ties around his wrists feel a bit cold first but not uncomfortably so. Sean ties them together, giving Nick no room to move his hands. He attaches the chain to something behind Nick. He doesn’t know what. Maybe a table leg.

 

Sean is in front of him again, his fingers wandering over Nick’s cheek first, then towards his lips. His thumb brushes over his lips, before pushing past them. Nick opens his mouth willingly, feeling two of Sean’s fingers being pushed past his lips.

 

Sean’s smile is full of pride and affection and sends jolts of joy through Nick’s body. “Suck them.”

 

Nick follows his orders suit, closing his lips around Sean’s fingers, licking and sucking at them. Sean’s thumb brushes over his bottom lip, his nail scratching him slightly. Nick doesn’t know what it is… being tied, exposed or pleasing Sean in some way… but it just turns him on. He gathers his courage, using his teeth to scratch Sean’s fingers slightly, his tongue swirling around them before he closes his lips around his fingers tightly, sucking. He wonders how it would feel to suck Sean’s dick. He has seen Sean naked, worries if all of Sean is going to fit into his mouth. The thought makes him shiver in excitement.

 

“Good,” Sean states, eyes darker now, and Nick loves it that it was him who put that look in Sean’s eyes. Sean pulls his fingers away, taking a step back. Nick wants to follow, but a tugging at his arms holds him back. He groans in frustration when his restraints stop him from going further. Sean is behind him all of a sudden and smacks his butt. “What did I say about making any noise?”

 

Right. Nick holds back an apology.

 

“Good,” Sean touches his cheek softly while he praises him. “You are doing so well, Nicholas.”

 

Nick flushes in happiness at the praise, a low moan escaping his lips when he feels Sean’s wet fingers brushing over his back. Sean takes his time, exploring Nick’s back, massaging some tensed parts. Then there are Sean’s lips on his neck, following the trails his fingers first painted. When Nick raises his hips, desperately wanting to move into the sensation, Sean slaps his butt again. “Stay still,” he orders, but even while his mind is starting to float, Nick can tell that Sean is not ordering him around quite as much as he could.

 

Sean moves to his front, keeping a hand on Nick’s back, pushing him forward while he pinches Nick’s nipples with his free hand, before he gets down and starts over again with his lips. Nick tilts his head back, moaning when he feels Sean’s soft lips on his skin, a tongue circling his left nipple. He clenches his fingers around his restraints, closing his eyes. He is getting under, he can feel it, but it’s different this time. It feels good.

 

“You are so beautiful,” Sean mutters, eyes scanning Nick from head to toe. The attention he receives makes Nick blush. “Do you even know how beautiful you are?” His nails scratch down Nick’s chest, moving over his swollen nipples.

 

His fingers are teasing him, moving over his hips and brushing over the inside of his thighs. In this state while being down Nick feels it more intense but at the same it feels so surreal. Like he is dreaming. Floating. Sean’s fingers move up again, all the way to his neck, thumb brushing over his lips again. And then down.

 

His feet tingle slightly from the kneeling position, but he doesn’t care.

 

Sean’s hands feel so good. On his thighs. He arches his back slightly while he tries to hold his position.

 

“How far down are you?” Sean’s voice reaches him, sounds like he is talking from far away, but he is still here, hands touching Nick. “You can talk.”

 

“Is okay,” Nick slurs, trying to voice a coherent sentence. “I like it.”

 

“Do you want me to help you come?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

Sean’s hand suddenly rests against his cheek, tilting his head up a bit. “Look at me,” Sean orders, his voice cutting through the fog slightly. “Are you certain?”

 

“Yes Sir,” Nick forces himself to focus, eyes searching for Sean’s to make sure he gets it. Please don’t leave me hanging. He lets his head drop down again. “Please.”

 

Nick’s eyes flutter shut. Sean doesn’t answer, but his hands are back on Nick’s inner thighs, brushing over them teasingly, before moving upwards. When he wraps his fingers around his erection, Nick gasps. He hasn’t even noticed how hard he got. Sensitive, too sensitive. “It’s okay, dear, you are doing so well,” Sean moves his hand slowly. “Breath, you got this. You are so beautiful like this.”

 

Nick doesn’t know if Sean is really saying all of that, he has difficulties hearing it clearly, but Sean’s voice is close to his ear suddenly, lips kissing his earlobe before moving towards his lips. Nick tugs at his restraints, wanting to wrap his arms around Sean to pull him closer. “Careful,” a hand is touching his arms, stopping him from moving. It stays there for the while being, while his free hand keeps stroking Nick’s erection. The sight in front of Nick’s eyes turns white, he closes his eyes, leaning forward a bit to capture Sean’s lips.

 

“Ready?” Sean asks.

 

Nick nods weakly.

 

A thumb brushing over the tip of Nick’s cock makes him see stars. Sean twists his wrist slightly, finally sending Nick over the edge. Nick moans Sean’s name when he comes, his head resting against Sean’s shoulder.

 

Sean presses his lips against his eyebrows. “That went well,” he says, voice dripping with relief and warmth. “You did so well.”

 

“Sean...” Nick mutters drowsily.

 

“Want me to untie you?” Sean waits for him to nod before Nick can feel the ties loosening and the restraints being opened. “Show me your wrists.” Nick lets him take his hands, turning them slightly. “They hardly left marks,” Sean nods contently. “Good. Do they feel numb?”

 

Nick shakes his head wildly. “Sean?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Want me...” Nick nuzzles his nose into Sean’s neck, glad he can finally use his hands to touch him. “… to help you too?”

 

Sean tilts his head. Nick can almost feel his intense glance on him. Then he shakes his head, he smiles. “Today I will handle it myself. Let’s plan that for next time.”

 

Nick’s heart skips a beat in joyful surprise. Sean liked this here enough to try it again. “Was I good?” he mutters.

 

“You were perfect, Nick, so beautiful.” Sean pushes his hair behind his ears and pulls him up a bit, moving them towards the sofa. “Nick, how far under are you?” he wants to know.

 

Nick smiles drowsily. “A bit. But it feels good.”

 

“Lie down here,” Sean makes his head rest against one of the soft pillows. “I will catch a few things and be back in a minute. Is that okay, Nick?”

 

Nick nods with a smile. Cute, he thinks, Sean is cute like that. He doesn’t know how long Sean is away, he has lost his sense of time, but suddenly he feels a wet cloth, warm, brush over his body, cleaning him up, and then a warm blanket being wrapped around him.

 

 

~~~

 

When Nick wakes up again he feels disoriented to say the least, and slightly irritated. “Warm,” he complains. And after a short pause. “Hungry.”

 

Something next to him shifts, something pretty broad and tall. Sean’s face is suddenly right in front of him. “You are feeling warm? What am I supposed to say?”

 

Nick frowns in confusion, checking their current position and realizing he is lying half on top of Sean, probably half suffocating him. He can’t help but chuckle. “Right,” he states.

 

Sean brushes over his cheek with the back of his hand. “Completely up again?”

 

“Yep,” Nick smiles. He feels happy. “The difference is… astounding,” he admits. “Up to now you took me down when I dropped and really needed it but today, sure I could have gone on without being taken under, but it felt really good. I didn’t know it can feel that way.”

 

Sean tucks a strand of Nick’s hair behind his ear. He smiles, so Nick assumes he liked what he heard. “Do you want to take a shower together?”

 

Nick nods eagerly, he feels gross, especially after he was basically being cooked under the blanket. He is just too happy to clean himself up again, and feel fresh again. While he is in the shower though, his old doubts settle in again. Sean really made sure Nick had a good time, but he didn’t ask for anything in return. For someone as experienced as Sean it was probably quite boring. Nick blushes, he hopes Sean had a good time too.

 

It’s later after they had dinner together that Sean asks something Nick already feared he would ask one day.

 

“Nick, did anyone… you know… sexually assault you in the past?” Sean sighs slightly. “I am sorry for asking this, I know this is difficult to answer. And I don’t want to upset you, but I think I need to know… to make sure you are safe with me when we get intimate. You, you don’t need to tell me any details. Just a simple yes or no would be enough for me.”

 

Nick looks down at his fingers nervously. “I… I am a virgin,” he stutters. Wow, embarrassing.

 

“I know that, Nick.” Sean looks unusually… tentative, careful, like he is afraid of saying something wrong. “But I need to know if someone ever forced you into something. Touched you in a way you didn’t like.”

 

“I… am not used, in case you worry about that,” Nick states firmly. He is not a used object, Sean needs to know, this was the only thing the organization watched out for. “Don’t worry, you… you are the first to own me.”

 

Something in Sean’s eyes flashes. Nick isn’t sure what it is. He looked angry for a moment, but it’s hard to tell, and it left as soon as it came. Sean’s features are controlled again, even more so than before. “Even if you had sex before I wouldn’t have minded,” he says. “After all I have a past too.”

 

“Are you...” Nick looks at him carefully. “Mad?”

 

“No,” Sean states shortly.

 

“I-” Nick shifts around nervously. “I am sorry if I did something wrong. I-”

 

“I am not mad, Nick,” Sean says firmly, raising an eyebrow. Nick is not convinced, but- “Let’s watch a movie.”

 

“A movie?” Nick asks in surprise.

 

“Yes, I think it would be fun,” Sean scrunches his nose. “Do you like action movies? Fantasy? Sci-Fi?”

 

“I haven’t seen any movies,” Nick blushes.

 

“What!?” Sean exclaims. “None?”

 

“Yes, unfortunately.”

 

“Jesus. I can’t believe it. Mission Impossible? Transporter?” Nick shakes his head. “The Lord of the Rings? Casablanca?”

 

“No.”

 

“Fine,” Sean smirks slightly. “You have a lot to catch up with. So, what do you say: Some dessert and a glass of wine while watching a cheesy movie?”

 

Nick reaches out his hand, squeezing Sean’s arm. He can’t remember the last time he felt that happy.

 

He feels so happy, sometimes he is scared that one day he will wake up again and realize everything was just a dream.

 

Sometimes he needs to tell himself over and over again. This is real, Nick. Sean is real. Their relationship is.

 

It’s real.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... Nick got to discuss a lot of things with his Dom friends. I think it helped him to have more trust in them and not be scared (I think it particularly helped his and Monroe's friendship, now that Nick understands things better).  
> In general I also hope it also shed some light on how things between Dom and Subs work in this universe I created. :-) 
> 
> And we have Sebastien hiding quite some secrets. *lol* How do they say? Still waters run deep XD
> 
> Sean and Nick got more intimate with each other, for the first time. I know this scene was rather tame. But I wonder how comfortable you are to read more explicit scenes? Should I leave it like this scene? Skip it? Make it more explicit? 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter!! As always I am happy to read your thoughts ♥ Comments and feedback are always appreciated <3


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